A couple of questions for homosexuals

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I have had a few questions about homosexuality and I thought I might ask them here. They may seem like odd questions. I am fully supportive of LGBT rights. I think homophobia is as idiotic as telling someone they should jerk off with their right hand rather than with their left :p

1) I understand that there are often masculine and feminine roles in homosexual relationships. Is this always the case or are there cases when both partners play the same role?

2) Suppose you have two males in a relationship. I find it easy to understand how the feminine partner is attracted to men and wants to be the receiving partner. But if someone wants to be the penetrating partner would they not rather penetrate a female? Are there penetrating men who prefer receptive men rather than receptive females? Are these men attracted to females?

I think that is it for now Forgive my ignorance but I have been curious about this for a while.

Homosexual and otherwise, there are people in this world who simply do not do any roles at all.

i think you are maybe conflating gender with sexuality. they are related but not the same thing. also, a person doesn't have to be feminine to like men and doesn't have to be masculine to like women. being a feminine man doesn't automatically mean you want to be penetrated, and being a masculine man doesn't automatically mean you want to penetrate.

I could be wrong but I thought in most homosexual relationships there is a masculine partner and a feminine partner. And generally the masculine one penetrates the feminine one.

I'm a bisexual man in a relationship with another bisexual man, and I'm moderately into the Bearsubculture. Those are the men I find most attractive, but is also the general manner in which I like to present myself.

Some things to know about gay sex though, not all of it is penetrative - I have homosexual male friends who never have penetrative sex in either position. Also just because someone is feminine does not mean that they are a bottom (the one who likes to be penetrated). The same goes for masculine people. Also I think the majority of people are flexible, in that they top sometimes, bottom other times.

But there's something I think you're not understanding and that is that gay relationships function on more than just a physical level. There's... a kind of feeling of warmth and excitedness you get in your stomach when you just like being around people (and want more romantically). I also, was listening to a podcast with a gay woman and I think she explained it well. Orientation isn't just about who you want to go to bed with, it's about who you want to wake up next to.

Interesting. I think though that if the sexual attraction is taken out of the equation then even straight people could be in gay relationships. So I would think the physical level would be a big part of it.

No, that is untrue. There are many asexual people who's romantic orientations are hetero. Sexual and romantic orientations are overlapping, but can be separate. I mean it's not *just* about the physical. By definition if you can just as happily and easily be in a hetero relations and a gay relationship then you're not straight. CLICK for Romantic Orientation

Although I do think more people are bisexual to varying degrees than would like to admit it - an opinion backed up by a significant body of statistical studies.

i'm not sure i would say 'most'. also, not all people (a good amount i would say? most?) aren't totally masculine or totally feminine. so no, penetrating is not the job of the 'masculine' partner. it all comes down to personal preference/what makes you feel good. i think in trying to understand homosexual relationships, you are using the stereotypical (fem/masc; man penetrates woman) frame-work for hetero relationships.

I'd add that there are growing numbers of heterosexual men who enjoy being penetrated by women.

1) I'm not sure if you mean this in a personality/behavioural sort of way (masculine/feminine, dominant/submissive), or sexual way, or ?? Regardless, I'd say you said it yourself.. often their are masc/fem roles, but not always. Sometimes people are pretty equal in those criteria & sexual preferences. How does it make any sense, logically, to think that relationship dynamics between gay couples ALWAYS fit a certain stereotypical profile?

2) No, they'd rather penetrate a male. Because they're gay & they're attracted to males, not females. I'm not sure how you don't seem to quite grasp the concept of homosexuality. It's where people are attracted to the same sex. It should be obvious that they'd rather penetrate someone they're attracted to of the same sex vs. someone of the opposite sex. Because they're gay & that's pretty much the definition of it. Of course there are penetrating men who prefer receptive men rather than receptive females. Those men are called gay men. They're males who are attracted to males. Is this making more sense to you now? As for whether they're attracted to females or not, maybe, or maybe they could tell you who they thought was an attractive looking female.. but in general gay men are not sexually attracted to females. Some bi men may be. Or some gay men may be somewhat attracted to some females, but in general that's kind of not how being gay works.. gay men are attracted to other men.

I'm now wondering if this thread was even serious in the first place.

No longer relevant.

Last edited by hyena on 29 May 2014, 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This answers my questions. Yes it was a serious thread. I cannot understand (first hand) how preferences different from mine work and I was curious, that's all. I have been respectful, why would you be suspicious that I have some sort of hidden agenda other than understanding people who differ from me in some aspect?

Yes, there are homosexual relationships where both partners feel/look/act/behave predominantly masculine as well as ones where both are predominantly feminine. I'd say of those two types of pairings, it's probably more common that both are mostly masculine vs. mostly feminine. Mostly feminine and mostly feminine is probably about the rarest pairing of gay couples, but it happens.

Yes, there are men who like to penetrate men but do not like to penetrate women. They're gay. They're sexually attracted to other men, not women. In the gay world they're known as "tops," whereas those that prefer to receive are known as "bottoms." Some identify as versatile (top or bottom) and others as mostly one or the other and sometimes switch positions.

Because the answers seem a little obvious so your post looks like it may be a trolling post looking for a reaction out of someone.

There are no rules to relationships, straight or gay. Every possible combination & outcome exists somewhere in the world. Some types of pairings and couples are much more common than others, but there are still a wide variety of relationship dynamics types out there - virtually every one possible.

And asking if there are males who prefer to penetrate males and not females seems like a bit of a joke question. Of course there are. These are what are known as gay men. More specifically, Tops. They like to have sex with men, not women. That's what makes them homosexual.

Well, it isn't! Don't you think that accusing someone of trolling without good evidence is fallible? That means sometimes you will be right, other times you will wrongly accuse people of trolling. But enough of this.

It is very rare for people to talk openly about gay relationships and gay preferences. This stuff is not trivial and some of us simply do not know how other preferences work until someone informs us. Thank you for the info.

I suppose it is rare. This is a place where you can feel free to talk as openly about gay anything as you like. I never said it was trivial. I just found it difficult to believe that you're aware of the concept of gay men existing but seem to now know the definition of what it means to be a gay man... that gay men are sexually attracted to other men, not women. That is why I wondered if your questions were serious or if this thread was just some sort of joke.

Feel free to post any other serious questions you have about anything related and if I see them I'll reply.