I don't understand my gender...

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I have been thinking a lot about how I identify, and I just feel confused. I was born female. And I am a feminine person. But I don't feel like a woman? (Or a man, mind you.) There is nothing to say I am not female, and I prefer she/her pronouns - but whenever someone refers to me as female or calls me ma'am or miss, it feels like it doesn't fit. I identify more with my genderqueer friends than with anyone cis, but I don't understand why. If I was born female and feel feminine, shouldn't I feel like I am a girl?

As a male manly man, the greatest women I have met are anything but feminine.

You are born, you die, everything inbetween belongs to you.

Don't drink the current koolaid, you are you, bollocks to their efforts to place you in a box.

You dig?

It is common for those on the spectrum not to fit in with normal people.

A book that may be of interest to you is "Autism in Heels"
https://www.amazon.com/Autism-Heels-Unt ... 1510732845
Amazon has a sample you can read. Click on the cover of the book.

I think: I am a woman therefore what I do is feminine. But then I read the definition of feminine: "traditionally associated with women" and that blows up that logic. I do things that are traditionally feminine (cross stitch --- but then I hear Navy men do that also) and I do things that are traditionally masculine (climb up on ladders to clean the gutters, financially support the family --- but then I can avoid dishes and laundry, which my husband will do, so that just makes sense.) So when people call me Miss or M'am I know they are following a social rule based on my physical appearance; I don't take it personally --- except when I went from Miss to M'am and I knew age was a factor.

Think about the whole Aspie women have "male brains" ---- uh, I am female and have a female brain: this is part of the spectrum for "female" --- but then back to the "traditional" or "majority" definition again...

Society in general has traditionally placed way too much emphasis on fitting rigid gender norms, but this is starting to change a bit, and I think that's a healthy thing.

In that case, what would you say that it means to be either a man or a woman in 2019? I identify as a man but I wonder if that means anything anymore.

Maybe demi girl, but sounds just like a girl who doesn't like certain tones of address.

Gender is a fluid thing, with many different dimentions.
Biological sex is easier: male, female, intersex.
As a mother of two, I'm a proven owner of a fully functional uterus, the fact that I find space travel infinitely more interesting than nail polish has exactly nothing to do with it.
In documents I have no problem with biological "female". My Kinsey scale is like 1-2 but I seem to be also demisexual, so... meh. My gender identification is: Myself

Where are you from? Maybe your local gender culture attributes to females something you don't identify with (like being irrational)?

You’re more a person than a “woman.” Maybe that’s why you don’t think that “woman/girl” fits you.

You are more than just your sex and your gender.

I am more a person than a “man.” I have no doubt that I’m a man—but I do some “feminine” sorts of things, too.

I don’t let my gender/sex affect me. I am a human being (with Wolfman characteristics ).

for a period of time i felt like i wasn't a girl, or like i didn't want to be a girl, because i'm not typically feminine and i thought girls were these boring things who only care about looking pretty and getting a boyfriend. thankfully i realized that belief was utterly stupid!
now i've kinda accepted myself, even though i still don't fit in with most girls, or what society thinks girls should be. i feel a bit bad for my fellow girls because there's this big pressure to look pretty all the time, wear trendy clothes and so on.
i still hate it that sometimes men dismiss me because i'm "just a girl", and that the only compliments i ever get are based on my looks, and that people expect me to find a man and marry. it'd be fun if others viewed me as just a person, not a girl specifically. in most matters my sex is just irrelevant. i think many women feel the same?

I feel kind of similarly to you Rabidnar. One of the things I really like about being diagnosed on the spectrum is being introduced to the idea of "gendervague" or "autigen". Gendervague really fits very perfectly how I've felt about my gender. Kind of genderqueer but not to the extent that I need to change pronouns or anything.

Invert the genders in your OP & that's pretty much me.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

sounds like demigirl to me (partly but not wholely female). You might also be bigender or autigender (meaning that the way you relate to gender is informed by your autism).

Hello OP--

You know, you sound like a well-rounded woman. I wouldn't worry too much about it. The way you are isn't a sign of any gender other than straight female.

I'm a very straight man (born male, can't change it) and while I am that, I do a lot of things culturally considered feminine: sewing, antiques, books, religion, fairly sensitive, fairly romantic--all that. But that stuff can balance the personality and make you more of who you are.


Carry on.

This reminds me of a questionnaire I filled in recently.
When it asked for my sex I had no problem ticking "female", but when it asked for gender identity, I couldn't work out which of the (very limited) options I felt comfortable with. I ended up ticking "I don't know"!

You’re a feminine person more than merely a feminine woman.