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Smitty101
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29 Mar 2020, 2:28 pm

Hi, I think this is an aspie problem because I never hear NT people have questions like this so I'm afraid to ask anywhere else:
I am attracted to female personalities. And very often attracted to females physically. I also fantasize about males, usually when already aroused. But I find male personalities usually make me uncomfortable. I tend to avoid other males even as friends. So I never had a chance to experiment sexually with another male.
Is this just normal strait stuff? Or does this make me bi? Or possibly gay but due to being bullied by males as a child perhaps unable to have a gay relationship?
Thx :)



SharonB
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29 Mar 2020, 3:30 pm

Hi. I get that you are physically attracted to women. Have you been physically attracted to a man (even if you didn't approach him or were uncomfortable)? If so, I say "bi!". If you just fantasize then I personally would say "no" as an initial response; I'd have to think more about it. Disclaimer: I don't know all the names for degrees on the sexuality spectrum; there could be something else fitting.



kraftiekortie
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07 Apr 2020, 4:42 pm

Dr. Kinsey has about 7-10 categories of people’s sexuality....they range from (to paraphrase) ”exclusively and absolutely heterosexual,” to “exclusively and absolutely homosexual.”



blooiejagwa
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07 Apr 2020, 7:07 pm

I don't know but personally I think overthinking this particular topic adds to anxiety and accepting yourself without labels helps things flow better-- because I think these things are not meant to be pinned down to black and white. I think not only is it a spectrum, it is flowing, permeable and malleable -- not still.


But I understand that the reverse might hold true too--

figuring out a specific category is very reassuring for some people with ASD and taking a laidback 'que sera sera' approach might actually contribute to anxiety.


_________________
Take defeat as an urge to greater effort.
-Napoleon Hill


paper.alien
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13 Apr 2020, 1:39 am

Hi.

There are a couple of orientations: sexual orientation and romantic orientation.

For example: my sexual orientation is demibisexual but my romantic orientation is biromantic.

Sexual orientation fluctuates between asexual and alosexual, the former lacking sexual attraction and the latter the opposite. While the romantic one fluctuates between aromantic and alloromantic, using the same explanation that I previously used with sexual orientation.

I think those are basic concepts.

I could discern, maybe, that your romantic orientation is heteroromantic and your sexual orientation is bisexual.

Heteroromantic bisexual.

Sexuality is a very broad spectrum that cannot be covered so tightly.

Of course, it is never too late to find yourself and perhaps I am wrong about your sexual-affective orientation.

I hope I have helped you.