Neurodiverse and LGBT or Queer

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Hmm... Just wondering if any of you meet up with Neurodiverse peeps in real life?

Like I may message guys on Grindr/tinder sometimes I see ADHD on their profile or Autism.

How open are you about being Aspie/ Neurodiverse on dating apps?

I guess I'm keen to meet other Neurodiverse people

I think many people I know may have ADHD or other differences though they are not so open about it in discussions at the pub. Hmm.. Maybe I need to open them up somehow.

I met a handful of neurodiverse people. Dated a few. It went pretty well. Not many talk about it but with some you can just tell.

Yah,

How do you tell the difference between an autistic versus just a shy socially awkward geek?

I guess I have some methods whether it's them being somewhat moral, speech therapy as a kid, diverse eye contact / weird family (or should I say unique).

I'm starting to own the ADHD more at the moment before I used to be more Autism/Aspie proud, recently rediagnosed ADHD as an adult. Interesting to look into. Started listening to this audiobook which is pretty cool. I certainly have an active mind.

Well, I am notoriously bad at meeting people, I become paranoid about coming across wrong or otherwise be an inconvenience, so "No, but I would like to".

Aw, you're in brissy, Attwood country.

I'm sure a few neurodiverse peeps there

Have you identified as neurodiverse or autistic or ______ on online dating profiles or face to face with groups of friends /dates?

I guess I'm somewhat afraid to be taken advantage of hmm... Especially online. People trying to take money, con people.

Face to face I tell some friends, I feel things like ADHD and like becoming somewhat cool with people like Robin Williams and other eccentrics hitting the mainstream.

I started OKCupid, put that I identify as non binary and bisexual, not sure what reactions I might get if I put having autism/an aspie. I just get super self concious about swiping right, like that I would be a bother to people in just showing interest, which pretty much permeates in all my socialisation. I never think that I would be worth the time of others, or perhaps I am afraid of rejection in just the attention of others, so I just have a hard time approaching others or letting myself be approached. It is something I need to learn to get over.

It also kind of feels like I have barely actually processed what being LGBT means for real person interaction, since so much of my youth was covered by locking that side away, trying to not appear abnormal to other people. Maybe a little afraid to find out that I am a fake bisexual, perhaps that is some internalised homophobia, but it is a little scary to think of myself as one way most of my life to suddenly have it changed. I do think at times that exposing myself to other people would help me get over it, that I need to take a leap, and of course this Covid lockdown thing is a convenient excuse to keep putting things off.

I put sometimes, but reality is I don't get out much or meet people often. I'm not the most social person on the planet, that's for sure I don't actively seek out neurodiverse people, but I seem to attract them. I think it's obvious I'm not neurotypical, so I figure these people see me as some kind of kindred. Im also pretty open about what I have going on with me.

I've never used a dating app, I'm not sure if I'd want to. The relationships I've had I've sort of fallen bassackwards into when meeting people in person here and there over the years.

For me you know how we have a "gaydar" . It's somewhat similar to that.

Interesting. I feel NTs /some NTs seek me out, or seek out the innocent geeky types.

Does anyone else feel this?

Perhaps because of these tv shows like good doctor or what not.

Maybe at times I play on the fact that this is desirable.

I guess lately I've noticed I'm often with the weird bunch of people I guess I feel for them and want them to be supported /see past the quirks.

Hmm... Yeah there's some things to get over

I guess we all have different hurdles. For me I'm afraid of breaking people's hearts lol.
I guess after hurting an exbf emotionally after leaving him, didn't want to create that pain again in others. Arh, silly me eh.

I guess they say those on spectrum feel emotions intensely, more so than NTs. Something I certainly agree with.

If I was to give tips about dating, unsure how popular OkCupid is now, I would try tinder or Grindr or bumble. I guess these apps have been gamified, if that's a word / right word. Like going to the casino there are lights, noises, flash animations. Oh my gosh, I guess I'm unsure if this is healthy, objectifying people, though we all do it (some of us).

◉ I do not know.

There is no way to tell just by looking at someone if they are LGBTQ, Neurodiverse, or both, unless they display an inverted pink triangle, a puzzle-piece, or both somewhere on their clothing or person.

I display my inverted pink triangle and puzzle piece as a sweet neck tattoo. I joke.

Despite the lack of tattoo, or any obvious advertising, a lot of people do see these things in me. It might not be something everyone can do any time, or things that people get correct 100% of the time, but I disagree that there is no way to tell just by looking at a person. Some people can do that, with frequent success, see these things in others. It's like they can spot it in us, in each other. I don't have that skill set, but that doesn't mean no one does.

For me in regards to autism, if someone knows anything about autism, they're likely to wonder if I have it. My eye contact is all wrong, I can get stimmy, my speech patterns aren't odd...the list goes on. If someone knows nothing about autism, they're still likely to wonder what I have going on with me, it's pretty obvious something is. I don't present as your average neurotypical person.

As for the lgbtq side of me... I dunno. I'm non binary, not that I make an effort to rock the androgyny or anything, but I was born A bio female, and don't much present as a typical one in any way, shape or form, even if I'm wearing some stereotype girly outfit. It's not really my appearance, which is odd for women in general, but i think it's moreso in my mannerisms, attitudes, approaches, societal norms that I don't mesh with... People often assume I'm a lesbian or some kind of trans.

HighVamp mentioned "gaydar", that's a thing for a reason. You or I might miss out on those things, but a lot of people don't. Im not so quick to discount that stuff. There seems to be something to it.

I have otherwise thought of wearing subtle pins, non binary and bisexual, could be a way to say something while I have a very difficult time approaching people. I would have no idea if I would naturally trip people's radar, since I did not trip my own for a long time.