Realizing you're not gay/bi, and just have "gender envy"?

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(This is a thread directed towards trans/NB people, if that wasn't obvious. lol)

My whole life I've thought that I was bi, though I often notice that I can't really pinpoint any men that I've been "attracted" to the same exact way that I've been attracted to women. I can easily imagine myself dating and having sex with women, and I can imagine enjoying sex w/ men solely for pleasure purposes, but I never think of it being as meaningful, nor do I find the idea of being in a relationship with men as fulfilling as one with a woman.

I've always found this confusing because I thought that I had (an ableit lower, and wildly inconsistent) degree of "attraction" to certain men, though recently I learned about the concept of "gender envy" (admiration and/or jealousy towards people who look and present how a trans/NB person wants to present) and heard about some "gay/bi" trans/NB people confusing attraction for it, and then realizing that they're straight after transitioning and don't experience the "gender envy" anymore. After learning about this I feel that I might be experiencing this and may actually be straight, not bi, though I can't be sure until I transition and see if the feeling goes away or changes.

Is there anyone else who thought they were gay/bi, but realized that they might just be experiencing "gender envy"?

My situation isn't exactly the same as I've never considered myself NB (although I don't tend to get hung up on gender stereotypes). I've had relationships with men and women and they are just...different. They have been pleasurable and meaningful in their own unique ways. I've never found one or the other to be better or less than the other. Its also possible for anyone of any orientation or gender to experience gender envy. I've admired or been attracted to men that are "more en than I will ever be" (this includes trans-men) and women, whether cis or trans. Some of that is also just I can find anyone who seems to be "comfortable in their own skin" or just confident in who they are in general.

As time goes on I realize more and more that I am more attracted to individuals rather than genders. I still consider myself gay, but I'm flexible enough to not be stressing over who I love, or admire.

I don't really know if this helps or answers your question, but I think everyone has to find their own way. Its just easier for some people than it is others.

I'm sure there are others just like you - can't be a one off, especially not if you've read about.

Similarly, a trans friend told me that so often trans guys think they're straight.. then get on testosterone and realize they're Also, or even mainly, attracted to guys.

The human body & sexuality is so diverse, especially for trans/nb people. Just enjoy the journey and go with the flow, imo.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I admit that my "attraction" and "gender envy" are actually intertwined.
I feel "attraction" from a man must mean that I will imitate some of his characteristics. Each of these experiences changed my behavior pattern more or less.

In the past, I asked my first partner to keep phonating and allowed me to feel the vibration of his chest with my hands so that I could better understand his phonation pattern and imitate it.
And I am always eager to observe the behavior patterns of my partners/secret-crushes in different situations to analyze the characteristics I need to imitate.


I briefly thought I might be bisexual. But I later realized that I just approved the appearance of a higher proportion of women than men, but I had no desire to date them.

A bit of a side note I found quite funny the moment it happened that I figured is appropriate to share here, maybe make someone have a little laugh or smile:

A FTM friend of mine and I were talking about magic mushrooms. When the conversation got to discussing the strain called 'Penis Envy,' he says 'I have penis envy! ' HA! It was a pretty funny moment, that's for sure. Hopefully sharing this little story made some of y'all smile.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.