Why is gender/sex simplified and foregrounded on WP?

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Reddit refugee hoping this place is great. Hi!

Signing up here at WP, first of all we're given only 3 gender/sex options, none of which feel quite right to me. Nonbinary does not function like "other," first of all, although that's how WP seems to be using it male, female, other ahem, excuse us, nonbinary.

But moreover, there should be an option "prefer not to say" and even better the choice to not even choose to say anything about it at all, to just simply skip that question entirely--at least that's my feeling. I prefer not to say, but one level deeper, I prefer to not have to say I prefer not to say lol.

Then I start browsing posts and below every avatar is one of the three genders. I guess I must have some gender-related trauma because this is uncomfortable for me to see and know my avatar will also present that way here, but I guess it doesn't bother too many of y'all too much? Or does it? Am I poking a bear or touching a nerve, I'm not trying to troll up any common fist fight or flame wars, I hope it's not like that.

Maybe I'll just get over it, but also won't be surprised if it grows to annoy me more and more.

I can't help but think this is a tip of the iceberg type clue about where I'm at and norms here !? Any thoughts or insights? Some of my therapy work is to (try to) include myself and (try to) show up unmasked. I don't want to be a pesky pill on day 1, but like, I'm also trying to be polite and figure out these surroundings. thanks. (don't hate me please )

Others here will be able to give the exact date(s), but for starters, afaik, WP went into "maintenance mode" quite some time ago, and so is rather "dated" now in its setup, and cannot be "modernized" BUT that doesn't mean the site is anti-trans or the like. It's all one big party here, and all are welcome (within reason, ofc and much to my consternation on some, but I'll bite my tongue now...)

Anyway... Welcome!

Thank you. You began to answer my next question which is something like, who/what has power over the Wrong Planet platform/community, where are the sources of vulnerability?

From what you wrote, I take it this thing could fall apart catastrophically at any moment and there is no cash-guarantor dedicated to the mission to ensure the site/platform gets back online even long enough for folks to backup cherished memories or trade contacts with friends. I'm a very sensitive person about change and such. I'm way more sad and distraught than I ought be about Reddit.

Not sure I want to sink my heart too deeply into a rickety old barge. No offense, bargemate. Thanks for your response.

Currently copying and reformatting the Three Word Story into what's going to be a 50+ page deep bizarre story, hosted on another server... though just bc I've nothing better to do atm. IDK how or who keeps this running, but in my few weeks here, I've not come across anyone worried that the site is "on the ropes" or anything like that. So, keep calm and soldier on? lol

That information is likely above your security clearance, citizen.You will find very few members whose interests fall outside what has been set up here.  Trolls eventually learn to behave or they find themselves banished.  Special-interest groups usually have their say and then go away.  Members are encouraged to report abusive behavior (i.e., bullying, grooming, harassment, et cetera.).

I encourage you to read  The Rules 

PS: If you need to display sex/gender data, use the signature line.

Last edited by Fnord on 12 Jun 2023, 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, the gender options are limited here, for sure. I don't know that the reason behind non binary here is like some kind of catch all... the nos of the gender world or something. I think it's probably more likely due to the fact that a lot of people here wanted a non binary option and for ages we didn't have that option. It is relatively new. When I joined a few years back you could only choose male or female. When I joined, I didn't choose a gender and it still allowed me to join. I'm not sure if you can 'un choose' that once you've already signed up though. It might be worth looking into.

I'm not sure that I understand what you're asking about the norms here, so I have no idea how to respond. Would you care to elaborate?

As for this site falling apart... it's not that the site itself is fragile. It's just old so making new changes and such isn't really possible. Things stay the same here, so if you're change avoidant, that is a perk of this place.

The power over the site ultimately belongs to the site owner, Alex. He doesn't show up or post much. There are moderators here who are active and I'm in no place to know what all they can or cannot do beyond moderating. Lol. Sorry, I'm not much help. viewforum.php?f=13 <--- that section of the forum might be more help for getting answers about things like that. There are people who are qualified to answerthose questions. I am just not one of them.

Most of us know that non-binary doesn't necessarily mean non-binary here.
It's our default option for indicating any of the following:

- None of your business
- Gender fluid
- Trans
- Non-Binary
- "Other"
- Prefer not to say

Etc.

When I see it, I don't necessarily think the person identifies non-binary in real life.

I read the rules. All fine except honestly "no swearing" feels a bit weird as I don't know exactly what that means in 2023. I'll try to keep my vocab befit a schoolground .

And I didn't mean technologically vulnerable to attack. I mean in the sense that, the myriad communities on Reddit are vulnerable to takings by: institutional investors/Wall Street, who have invested a ton in the platform and will turn the screws on whomever as tight as they must trying to squeeze money back out of the thing, for them they'd like way more money back than they ever put in, of course; and this is often catastrophic or painful for communities based on the platform. So by my way of thinking, Wall Street has immense power over reddit communities.

I don't suspect Wall Street has much influence here, but there is always a structure of some sort.

As far as I can tell this site is the fiefdom of a single founder. Is that right? I don't see any community advisory board, or a trust and safety team, or anything like that. Should that founder pass untimely, do they take the keys to the castle with the grave with them, eg? Also, I'm not sure how this site generates revenue, and any web platform has server costs, etc. So it would seem to me this platform is also vulnerable to having no real cash-guarantor to help insulate it from shocks. If there are no profits and losses, there is still costs if not also revenue, and that whatever may be shared with the community about issues like that, I'm curious.

This is what I mean, not anything about sockets or ports or anything like "hacker" stuff. I was thinking more, I guess, more sociology-economically and politically speaking, what are this site's vulnerabilities?

Thank you. I guess I meant... I feared that making gender/sex so prominent and simplified might hint at a lot of gender policing, which I could imagine would be a natural consequence of that portion of the structure/layout here. After all, what is a woman? Who gets to be one? It's a big worldwide dialogue that in MOST places in society is a hot debate, whatever leanings those places each have. I fear that forcing people to choose the best fit and then displaying it so prominently could lead to questions of authenticity and who's entitled to this or that.

Even queer spaces can be quite traditional-conservative about transgender issues and gender issues per se, without always knowing it. Again, please don't hate me.

edit, to add: it also has a bit of a romance/dating site vibe to be displaying it so everywhere.

Last edited by azucarleta on 12 Jun 2023, 7:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No swearing isn't very strictly enforced.

Thank you, I've adjusted my profile based on this guidance. cheers.

If I may, please . . .

You might be over-thinking this.  On this website, gender/sex is rarely an issue between members.  If someone wants to post personal issues, The Haven is the best sub-forum for that, while a good second choice is the Adults Only section.  Men are supposed to stay out of Women's Discussion, and Philosophy, Politics & Religion (PP&R) has looser standards for expression (still within The Rules, of course).  Profanity is generally discouraged (an occasional 'hell' or 'damn' may be overlooked, but "F-Bombs" are not welcome).

For all I know, just about every gender/sex combination is represented here.

First and foremost, however, we are autistics (having some form of Autism-based disorder), and we are a community.  Think of us as a neighborhood almost exclusively full of people who are on the autism spectrum.  We share our experiences, ask for and receive advice, and occasionally vent about The World and the stupid people who run it.

Oh, and some of us have an odd sense of humor.  Please take nothing personally.

Welcome Aboard!

F bombs happen and are generally allowed, but they'll get blanked out like this:
"I had a f*****g bad day because my f*****g car wouldn't f*****g start!"

It's OK to f-bomb at the universe but it would be a personal attack to f-bomb another member.

We can't tell people to f**k off. Actually some of us do, when it's between known friends and it's known to be a joke or teasing, but it takes a while to get to that comfort level so I'd err against it in the meantime.

LOL yes... re: we're all on the spectrum here. you'll notice rather quick how many threads become "autistic", what with us saying what we want to say, and asking what we want to know... and "info dumps" ofc

Thanks!

No offense taken, but I think it's funny for an autistic person to tell another autistic person they are overthinking something like, well, oops i did it again lol.

I like your neighborhood analogy fine. Just, uhm, put my "overthinking" in context of my experience having lost connections and even content I CREATED just poof ("our final day of service will be....), or suddenly be behind a gate I can't get through or refuse to from principal. Put my overthinking in context of AOL, Friendster, Yahoo!, and Tumblr, all platforms I relied on for socializing but where in various ways sequentially undercut. I'm not a live-in-the-moment type person, I think I would have slipped into homelessness long ago if I were. As a matter of survival, I tend to overthink relationships that my heart inevitably goes into. And I'm many times bitten, (finally) shy.

I just never before as I got really invested in communities consider the socio-economics and politics, and personalities, of the platform that sustains the community. I figured it's a good time to start, but sure, it's overthinking in other ways. For me, it's the only thing I care to think about today and tomorrow, at least.

A previous place of employment was using a deprecated wordpress theme as the centerpiece of their entire e-commerce presence. I was largely in charge of fundraising. It wasn't a constant disaster, it was more like a recurring nightmare that happened occasionally, the site just not working in part due to the deprecated theme, and it would cost the organization quite a bit of time (and time is money) to always work around that.

So: "it's old, it doesn't change much" has some very, very desirable aspects to it. But i can't help but htink that makes the site quite vulnerable to hitting an unexpected financial snag and deciding to close up shop, rather than invest to smooth out the kink, because if there is no revenue coming in, is there some angel board member who just throw money in the furnace for us? Yknow?

Things like this site costs money. I don't see fundraiser button, no patreon, etc. I don't see advertisements. I don't see foundations being thanked for their grants. I just feel like... a strong intuition this place is held together with duct tape and pennies more than it let's on. It has an extremely charming duck paddle look to it. Which I love... but... those who duck paddle tire of it and crash after while.