i think i'm aroace

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Joined: 12 Oct 2023
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27 Oct 2023, 11:55 am

i think im aroace cuz i never had a crush before and the "crushes" i have is just me like a characters design and reading fanfics about them but i wish i had a crush on someone

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babybird
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28 Oct 2023, 11:02 am

Never heard of that one.

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Lost_dragon
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28 Oct 2023, 2:28 pm

babybird wrote:

Never heard of that one.

Aro (short for Aromantic) = little to no romantic attraction.

Ace (short for Asexual) = little to no sexual attraction.

Aro-ace = Aromantic and Asexual.

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blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 2:31 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:

babybird wrote:

Never heard of that one.

Aro (short for Aromantic) = little to no romantic attraction.

Ace (short for Asexual) = little to no sexual attraction.

Aro-ace = Aromantic and Asexual.

I read somewhere on the forum that you would be part of the LGBTQ+ crowd, Lost_dragon.

Perhaps you would be a good person to ask this question - would you consider asexual folk to be part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum?

I think officially they are, but since they are not technically gay or straight, I don't understand how they fall into the former category?

TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 2:41 pm

I think most of us who identify as LGBTQ+ are pretty inclusive. We accept most whose sexuality is atypical in some way.

blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 2:44 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

I think most of us who identify as LGBTQ+ are pretty inclusive. We accept most whose sexuality is atypical in some way.

Oh yeah, you are also a part of the LGBTQ+ category, so I suppose you would be good to ask, too.

I accept your answer with thanks.

babybird
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28 Oct 2023, 2:52 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:

babybird wrote:

Never heard of that one.

Aro (short for Aromantic) = little to no romantic attraction.

Ace (short for Asexual) = little to no sexual attraction.

Aro-ace = Aromantic and Asexual.

Thank you. We only had gay, straight or bi in my day.

It's no wonder the kids get so stressed out with all of these things to think about.

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Lost_dragon
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28 Oct 2023, 3:12 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:

I read somewhere on the forum that you would be part of the LGBTQ+ crowd, Lost_dragon.

Yup. I would fall under the L (Lesbian).

blitzkrieg wrote:

Perhaps you would be a good person to ask this question - would you consider asexual folk to be part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum?

Yes.

blitzkrieg wrote:

think officially they are, but since they are not technically gay or straight, I don't understand how they fall into the former category?

They fall under A (LGBTQIA). Asexuals can vary. Some asexuals are interested in romance and dating but may not want the sex part. Others have no interest in dating or sex and very rarely (if ever) have crushes.

It is possible to be gay and asexual. I have a friend who is a lesbian but she is asexual. She's interested in dating women but doesn't want to have sex. Sometimes people describe this a homo-romantic.

Likewise, you can be straight and asexual. Hetero-romantic.

Actually, I think this video does a better job of explaining it than I can. Here's a YouTuber named Jaiden talking about being aroace:

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TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 3:55 pm

babybird wrote:

Lost_dragon wrote:

babybird wrote:

Never heard of that one.

Aro (short for Aromantic) = little to no romantic attraction.

Ace (short for Asexual) = little to no sexual attraction.

Aro-ace = Aromantic and Asexual.

Thank you. We only had gay, straight or bi in my day.

It's no wonder the kids get so stressed out with all of these things to think about.

Why would it be stressful? I think having words to describe one’s experience would make things less stressful.

Lost_dragon
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28 Oct 2023, 4:11 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

babybird wrote:

Thank you. We only had gay, straight or bi in my day.

It's no wonder the kids get so stressed out with all of these things to think about.

Why would it be stressful? I think having words to describe one’s experience would make things less stressful.

I think it depends. Some people find having a label to be useful. However, others prefer not to have a label.

Some people worry about using the wrong label (for example 'what if I identify as (term) but I later figure out that I'm not?')

My advice on that matter is that it's fine to use a label and then switch to another label, if you find that other label better fits your developed understanding of yourself. Likewise, if you don't want to use labels, that's fine as well.

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babybird
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28 Oct 2023, 4:27 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

babybird wrote:

Lost_dragon wrote:

babybird wrote:

Never heard of that one.

Aro (short for Aromantic) = little to no romantic attraction.

Ace (short for Asexual) = little to no sexual attraction.

Aro-ace = Aromantic and Asexual.

Thank you. We only had gay, straight or bi in my day.

It's no wonder the kids get so stressed out with all of these things to think about.

Why would it be stressful? I think having words to describe one’s experience would make things less stressful.

I identified as male up until I was about 20 but we didn't have all these labels and I didn't need them. I was just me. I grew up around trans, gay, bi and a lot of lgtb people from a very young age and I didn't really think anything of it. I just accepted it and this was back in the 1970s. so I am talking from a lot of experience actually. I'm not saying that all these labels are a negative thing as such but I think kids should be free to grow into who they are without the pressure of feeling as though they have to fit into some label or other. I would actually find it very stressful if I was at school these days and because I don't fit into usual female stereotype I think other kids would expect me to have an answer as to what my pronoun or preference might be and if I didn't have an answer (which I know I probably wouldn't) they would probably give me a label themselves. That is stressful.

You might think differently but that is my opinion.

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blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 4:57 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:

blitzkrieg wrote:

I read somewhere on the forum that you would be part of the LGBTQ+ crowd, Lost_dragon.

Yup. I would fall under the L (Lesbian).

blitzkrieg wrote:

Perhaps you would be a good person to ask this question - would you consider asexual folk to be part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum?

Yes.

blitzkrieg wrote:

think officially they are, but since they are not technically gay or straight, I don't understand how they fall into the former category?

Thank you so much for your helpful post, Lost_dragon.

TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 5:23 pm

babybird wrote:

TwilightPrincess wrote:

babybird wrote:

Lost_dragon wrote:

babybird wrote:

Never heard of that one.

Aro (short for Aromantic) = little to no romantic attraction.

Ace (short for Asexual) = little to no sexual attraction.

Aro-ace = Aromantic and Asexual.

Thank you. We only had gay, straight or bi in my day.

It's no wonder the kids get so stressed out with all of these things to think about.

Why would it be stressful? I think having words to describe one’s experience would make things less stressful.

I like labels because I think that they sometimes make it easier for a person to describe their experience. My personal labels have changed over time, so I don't see them as something rigid or static. Of course, if people don't like labels, they don't have to use them.

I had trouble describing my experience and identity because there weren't words for it, in part, because they weren't viewed as valid in my environment, so in some cases, I think that labels could be validating or affirming.

GreenVelvetWorm
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03 Nov 2023, 3:15 am

I'm also ace, and I've found the label really helpful. I used to think there was just something wrong with me, but having an accurate and tidy word to describe it with makes me feel more at peace with myself.

I'm not sure about my romantic orientation. I've felt very strong affectionate feelings before, toward my partner and toward my other close friend. But I don't quite know where friendship feelings stop and romantic feelings start. That doesn't really bother me though, I've settled into a style of relationships that seems to work fine for me.

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