I'm Afraid Of Me

Post Reply New Topic

For the longest time I kept trying to tell myself I'm a straight man but I'm slowly coming to realize that I'm not which truly bothers me. I fear the vulnerability and the possibility of being targeted. I keep telling myself I need to have a wife and kids and be a traditional husband like I wanted to since I have been a homophobic right-wing traditionalist for years. Not only would I ruin my chances on having a traditional family, but I'd also ruin my reputation with my friends.

Last edited by ChaosCascade on 29 Dec 2024, 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I know two people who moved to Connecticut to find high paying jobs as managers.
Both have gay marriages that have raised one kid each. The two guys adopted a young black girl.

The lesbian couple is vacationing right now in Europe!

Don't be afraid to follow your true self and find happiness with someone. No need to have kids for the sake of tradition or what's expected. I was 34 when I began to come out and am now over 60 and in a happy relationship despite currently being long distance due to complex reasons. I split my time between two distant cities.

No need to fear targeting. There are no longer gay stereotypes and the most unlikely folk are gay. I wish you success in finding happiness and an end to doubt and loneliness.

True friends won't reject you even if they're all straight. If they do them it's their problem and might eventually come to understand.

Traditional marriages seldom work out when a gay guy isn't really attracted which.lesds to unhappiness for the wife when she finds out she's married to someone who doesn't feel attracted to her. If they have kids it can be more complicated.

But many gays and lesbians adopt children. There are many kids.longing for a happy home.

True friends won't reject you even if they're all straight. If they do them it's their problem and might eventually come to understand.

Traditional marriages seldom work out when a gay guy isn't really attracted which.lesds to unhappiness for the wife when she finds out she's married to someone who doesn't feel attracted to her. If they have kids it can be more complicated.

But many gays and lesbians adopt children. There are many kids.longing for a happy home.

A side of me feels it's even more special if the offspring is my own. To me it would be an honor to my ancestors to carry on our bloodline.

Are you trolling? Your profile pic looks like Boy George from the 1980s.

I'm serious, I love Culture Club. The title of this post was taken from one of there songs.

https://youtu.be/zhcKDf57S1w?si=imZ4Jz98yGlmTurY

Friends who won't accept you for who you are aren't real friends.

Political stances that are outright hostile to who you are probably aren't good stances to hold.

It seems you're at a point in life where it's time to seriously rethink what you want from life so you're not forced to spend life cosplaying as someone who hates the real you.

What makes it hard to accept is my desire for wanting kids who're of my own blood, and my growing fascination with ancestor worship. I'm anti leftist ideologically and have been for 10 years. I've reconsidered before but I feel it's hard to deny what's happening today is by design to undermine and destroy the west. I am critical of the modern LGBT movement because I despise the degeneracy in it and people forcing it in public education and kids being in oversexualized pride parades, and people supporting Desmond Is Amazing.

Being LGBTQ+ is not a politic statement. Most are just like you, trying to live their lives. Some are political because they feel discriminated against.

It's not actually a conspiracy, you know that, right?

You can have a think about a possible child by surrogacy once you are in a stable position to care for one. Better that than marrying some poor woman on false pretences, would you really do that? Because that is truly despicable

It sounds like you've drank a bunch of far-right ideology and that unfortunately your ideology is at odds with who you actually are as a person.

It might be time to reevaluate some of your anti-leftist hate ideology, but you do you.

I'm not open about my sexuality too much, some by choice but some because I don't want to have a target on my back. I'm 44 and I accepted the fact I was gay long ago, but I still struggle as I despise the stereotype and gay culture in general. I find it cringy. Now, I cannot tell others what to do but that's just my own belief.

I hold conservative beliefs on a handful of things but many on the right have this fixation with trans people, because they know it will rile their base up on election day. Same for abortion and any mention of gun reform dismissed as " communist".

The right has a very good propaganda machine, as we've seen in this past election in The USA and I was majorly sucked in for a handful of years, still struggling deprograming myself.

It's hard to really see them as discriminated in modern society when that eyesore of a flag is flown outside of state capital buildings, painted in streets, and when every corporation is hopping on the bandwagon of pretending to care. It's hard to see myself as one of them when I don't act it, dress it, or talk like I am. I act like my gender and like guy things.

I also tend to find myself attracted to right wing masculine men. I'm also struggling with a crush on a friend who is similar to me view wise. I feel like he in a lot of ways gets me. I wish I could quit these feelings, but it just feels like what I am was blinded by fate.

With any luck maybe you'll meet someone who has some of the traditionalist views you appreciate, but without the homophobia that's so common in those circles.

You're entitled to like what you like, and ideally that should be possible without absorbing the notion that you or your attractions are inherently less valuable. Making peace with you are fundamentally is possible, drastically altering who you are fundamentally generally doesn't seem to work out. Denying who you are in this regard seems to lead to people ending up bitter and self-loathing, often with a lot of resentment towards the female partners they feel obliged to pursue because they represent denial of what that person actually is attracted to.

It seems like a really miserable way to go through life.



It's hard to see them as discriminated against, because some entities are vocal in pushing back against discrimination? My brother in Christ, people only make a point of signalling their acceptance of queer people because hostile views towards them are still so common.

If everyone agrees a cause is good there's little incentive to signal one's approval of that cause because consensus already exists. When a cause is more controversial it's a way of signalling no matter who is against you, we're still with you.



You say this like most gay men don't dress like men, act like men or talk like men. Ignoring that men can dress, act or talk however they wish, most gay men aren't that removed from most men in general and some of the extent to which some might be more removed is also a result of discrimination.

If some obviously gay little boy doesn't get included in "male stuff" as a kid, he's less likely to develop those interests or have nostalgia for those experiences. If some less obviously gay boy is constantly subjected to homophobic rhetoric and jokes when participating in those spaces (even if the barbs aren't directed towards him personally), he's less likely to feel welcome in those spaces.

Either way, the outcome is driving some portion of boys away from that stuff for who they are, which in the long-term is likely to result in under-representation.

The problem isn't from minorities, it's from bigots poisoning those spaces and interests for some people. That pressure can also be expressed by members of whatever minority, but it's the result of internalizing that bigotry, not because that minority has no place in that space or hobby or interest.