Gender Identity

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Besides having autism, I identify as asexual and aromantic. I have never felt sexual attraction to anyone. I have always considered myself as a tomboy. Wearing more masculine clothing and always having short hair. I have always believed myself to be female. I have always wondered about non-binary or gender queen is more appropriate. I have never had gender disphoria. I know whatever feels good for me is what is right.

I wonder whether the asexuality and lack of sexual desire one way or another influenced my gender. Or the challenges of interoception being autistic. Physically masculine clothes feel better. In pu lic I am frequently mistaken for a male.

I am interested how others who identify as non-binary, gender queer, or similar identity know that is what feels right to them?

I could see how that might be difficult to decipher. I feel like gender identity is who you are, but it's also a choice to take on that identity. For me, as a non-binary person, it came down to how I felt on the inside. I never felt like a guy or a girl fully. Although, I would say that my personality leans more feminine. That's what set the alarm bells off that I'm different. When all the guys wanted to play sports, I would have rather talked with the girls, but I was a bit too scared as a kid to do what felt right. And of course, there was massive pressure to conform growing up in a male body in the 80's. Edit: I would also add that this process is very confusing for a lot of people 40+, because there was no language for what we may have been going through. I think a lot of us just suppressed those thoughts. For me, it took a while of digging and soul searching to figure this out (years).

Do you feel more at ease among men? Are there other signs besides the clothes? How do people relate to you? What feels most natural?

I'm agender/non-binary. I present as a somewhat androgynous feminine person. (Though, because I either have PCOS or NCAH, I have some facial hair. So, as a result, children think I'm a man and tend to address me as "sir". Which I rather get a kick out of.)

Hm.... mainly I just feel a big ol void. I don't connect to womanhood. I would be just as happy with a male body as a female one.

I also don't really have dysphoria.

At least this stuff could be treated more normally. If you are tomboyish, you can stay that way. You could even get married to a guy if you wanted to, etc.... Few would consider it odd.

The PCOS or NCAH could likely be treated, and some electrolysis could maybe help.

As for body preference? I am a straight male, so maybe that clouds my view, but I always thought females had nice bodies. And I DID admire the way that the girls, at least at my first school, acted towards one another. You would think they were lifelong friends related, etc..... But it seems to be something pretty common, at least in the US, I group into something called Female culture. Of course I am an introvert. But yeah, that goes deeper than merely the BODY.

I WISH I had the URL, but there is a video of a "AFAB" that is "F2M". The person PHYSICALLY, looks like a MAN, but is WAILING like a FEMALE, LAMENTING how that person misses the commaradory that FEMALES used to give that person.

If they looked female, and did that in a woman's bathroom, they would ALL try to console her! That is JUST HOW WOMEN ARE! Looking like a man, those women would force him out of the restroom!

If they looked female, and did that in a mans bathroom, they would ALL try to console her! That is JUST HOW MEN ARE! Looking like a man, those men would REDICULE him, and the event could even go HYPER VIRIL!

OK, That reminded me! This is SO relatively rare, that it should be EASY to find! SO I typd into youtube "VIRIL MAN CRYING"! About the THIRD video was the EXACT one I was looking for!! !! !!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUXslDzeYGg

Yeah, it is amazing how many do this and have NO idea what they can expect! Men DO even THINK differently!

Men INSTINCTIVELY, generally, treat women FAR BETTER if they have a nervous breakdown or some such. But MEN are supposed to be FAR MORE STOIC!