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PineappleLobster
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20 May 2024, 3:19 pm

Here, have a rainbow cupcake


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thewhajjewhofeeds
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23 May 2024, 1:33 pm

Awww, you're sweet!


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Butterfly88
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25 May 2024, 7:01 pm

Thank you, it was yummy!



Lost_dragon
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27 May 2024, 5:58 pm

Don't mind if I do!

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I have plans to go to Pride this year. 8)


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Lost_dragon
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03 Mar 2025, 1:09 pm

I keep seeing the same questions brought up in this section of the forum. I wonder if I should make a frequently asked questions and common misconceptions thread. Maybe I could ask for it to be pinned.


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TwilightPrincess
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04 Mar 2025, 7:36 am

^ I think that’s a very good idea.


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utterly absurd
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24 Mar 2025, 10:54 pm

My dad told me yesterday that he doesn't really understand being trans or nonbinary. He's a cishet man who deeply dislikes traditional gender norms. He said instead of transitioning to a different gender, he feels like people should push back against gender norms and realize that they don't have to follow the rules society imposes on them. (He wasn't being disrespectful to trans people, he was just admitting a lack of understanding.) I tried to explain that it's a lot more complex than that but he didn't really get it. He also told me that he's seen a lot of toxic masculinity in his life and when I was born he wanted to teach me how to be a good man, and now he feels like he's failed.

It's all very well intentioned and he's doing his best but he just doesn't really understand. It'll be a process and in the meantime he's trying to use my new name and pronouns, so it's all good.


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funeralxempire
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25 Mar 2025, 2:28 am

utterly absurd wrote:
My dad told me yesterday that he doesn't really understand being trans or nonbinary. He's a cishet man who deeply dislikes traditional gender norms. He said instead of transitioning to a different gender, he feels like people should push back against gender norms and realize that they don't have to follow the rules society imposes on them. (He wasn't being disrespectful to trans people, he was just admitting a lack of understanding.) I tried to explain that it's a lot more complex than that but he didn't really get it. He also told me that he's seen a lot of toxic masculinity in his life and when I was born he wanted to teach me how to be a good man, and now he feels like he's failed.

It's all very well intentioned and he's doing his best but he just doesn't really understand. It'll be a process and in the meantime he's trying to use my new name and pronouns, so it's all good.


I don't think he's wrong overall, even if his understanding is incomplete and that leaves him wrong in limited ways.

Like, people shouldn't feel the need to transition to escape constrictive gender norms, but people should feel free to transition because they believe it's appropriate for them.

Rigid gender norms seem harmful regardless of one's gender identity or sexual orientation, but that's a separate issue from acceptance of trans and NB people, even if the issues dovetail.


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utterly absurd
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26 Mar 2025, 4:35 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
utterly absurd wrote:
My dad told me yesterday that he doesn't really understand being trans or nonbinary. He's a cishet man who deeply dislikes traditional gender norms. He said instead of transitioning to a different gender, he feels like people should push back against gender norms and realize that they don't have to follow the rules society imposes on them. (He wasn't being disrespectful to trans people, he was just admitting a lack of understanding.) I tried to explain that it's a lot more complex than that but he didn't really get it. He also told me that he's seen a lot of toxic masculinity in his life and when I was born he wanted to teach me how to be a good man, and now he feels like he's failed.

It's all very well intentioned and he's doing his best but he just doesn't really understand. It'll be a process and in the meantime he's trying to use my new name and pronouns, so it's all good.


I don't think he's wrong overall, even if his understanding is incomplete and that leaves him wrong in limited ways.

Like, people shouldn't feel the need to transition to escape constrictive gender norms, but people should feel free to transition because they believe it's appropriate for them.

Rigid gender norms seem harmful regardless of one's gender identity or sexual orientation, but that's a separate issue from acceptance of trans and NB people, even if the issues dovetail.

Of course. The issue is really that he doesn't understand why someone would choose to transition, but he's being supportive and all so it's fine. My biggest concern is that he feels like he's failed at teaching me how to be a nontoxic man, as if he could've changed my gender identity by teaching me that.


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funeralxempire
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26 Mar 2025, 4:40 pm

utterly absurd wrote:
Of course. The issue is really that he doesn't understand why someone would choose to transition, but he's being supportive and all so it's fine. My biggest concern is that he feels like he's failed at teaching me how to be a nontoxic man, as if he could've changed my gender identity by teaching me that.


Hopefully his understandings will grow, since he's being supportive that seems like a likely outcome, even if it takes awhile.


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27 Mar 2025, 9:32 am

It's a learning curve innit


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27 Mar 2025, 9:52 am

Saying that though my dad's an absolute dinosaur when it comes to this sort of thing and I'm not gonna waste what precious time I have with him trying to reeducate him


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02 Apr 2025, 7:53 pm

When I was in high school, I thought LGBTQ+ people were really "weird" and "gross", but in the latter part of my high school years, an openly gay faculty member helped me accept the fact that straight people are no different from LGBTQ+ people. I will be forever grateful to him.

I'm cisgender and straight, but I hate it when I get accused of being gay just because I openly support the rights of LGBTQ+ people despite my NT sister being openly asexual much to the dismay of a paternal uncle who believes asexuality isn't real, that she's making it all up and that she uses her age to get out of wanting a boyfriend.


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