Ask-an-Aspie for fiction writers?

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We really need someplace where writers of all neurological stripes can come to ask others whether the way they're portraying them is accurate or not, and to ask for advice. What made me think of it is that I'd like to be able to ask NTs, but on a writing forum I'm on I've seen no fewer than three recent threads of NTs asking for help writing autistics, and I find myself writing other neurodiverse characters as well.

I'm not certain what this would look like, but I'm certain it would be beneficial. Who's with me? Who, if I start something like this, will join up? Better question-- who has some clue how to go about this? (Someone take this out of my hands before I do something stupid. Otherwise, I'm serious.)

Its easy enough, pull out a pen and paper, and start observing people....

oh wait, forgot to hit the easy mode button.... *hits the god damn easy mode button, which really isn't all that easy*

Yeah, I've noticed what you have noticed. Some of us CAN.... collaborate and make a compendium of sorts. As for portraying those on the spectrum, its easy enough to do if ya just observe the mundanes of this here forum. As for other mental attributes.... sociopaths are easy enough, just make a character as lying, manipulative and as deceitful as possible, but of course even for sociopaths I have just listed the cliff's notes version.

but anyways, no matter what mental differences people have, personalities have so many variables to them that is isn't necessarily easy to pin down a picture perfect description that describes everyone that falls into a certain group.

as I said, the easy mode isn't that easy.


oh and one more comments, you can always check out tvtropes.org. It is a great resource... but there is a risk to it.... in that it can steal your life.... and your soul... quite easily.

just out of curosity how does TvTropes.org steal one's life.....how is it so addictive?

Other than that, I have an insane but might work idea. Create a website that ppl can give a description of themselves and how they think, act, and perceive the world anonamously in order to create a database of characters based on everything from, diagnosises, to employment, to hobbies, lifestyle choices, genetic factors, and life experiences

This could be ever expanding and really cool database for writers and would help folks see people more accurately.

DemonAbyss10, I love TVTropes. And yeah. Easy mode is hard.

jojobean, I think it would work better as a question-and-answer thing combined with a critique group. It's just too hard to think of things without being asked specific questions.

I'm a NT writer with an Aspie son. Feel free to ask me questions

Okay. How to moms talk to each other?

You really need to tell me more about the moms - because the personalities of the moms will dictate how they talk and related to each other. Moms are people just like everyone else, with their own personalities and traits and insecurities and "issues". For instance: let's say you have two uber-competitive type A moms - a conversation between them isn't going to be a real "conversation" - it'll be more like two people talking at each other while they try to out do each other on whatever they're talking about, be it their kid's accomplishments, where they're going on the next vacation etc, etc etc.

Or, you could have one mom who is worried about her kid and the other mom is the kind of person who always has the answer, even when she really doesn't know squat about the problem.

Then again, you could have two moms who are good friends and are able to have a real dialogue where they listen to each other and compare notes because they're both concerned about their kids (or their husbands or the dog or the price of baked beans.)

Do you see what I mean?

Cool; I hadn't thought about that.

The mothers in question... one of them is a perfectly normal, sweet, kind of fun NT. The other one is an autistic elf who ran away from the Garden of the Hesperides to protect her son and is now hiding among humans pretending to be human.

Ok so let's say I'm the NT mom. (Kindly ignore the snorts of derision from my kids at the thought of me being "normal" and "sweet".) If I met the elf I would probably ask the typical "getting to know you" questions, ie/ what's your name, where did you move here from? how many kids do you have? How are you settling in? The kids question is assuming I met her in school or somewhere I knew she had a kid. The questions I ask would depend on the context where we meet.

Through this, I might gradually start to notice she is different in some way - maybe she takes something I say very literally, or doesn't get an idiom I use, or maybe she speaks with a slightly different intonation.

Could that be because she's autistic or because she's an elf? How is she hiding her physical elfish characteristics, like the pointy ears? Does she always wear a hat? That might be something I pick up on and wonder about.

If I'm an NT who knows about autism, I might start to wonder about that. But if I don't, I might think that she's kind of stand-offish, or weird.

You've got an interesting situation here because you have to figure out which of her (the elf's) characteristics are Elvish and which are due to autism. It reminds me of something I deal with every day at the moment - trying to figure out what is Asperger behavior and what is "typical Teenage boy" behavior, and where do I draw the line in parenting.

Does that help at all?

LOL! Yeah, that is hard. Luckily, it's not actually an issue. I guess I didn't explain clearly. The elf has known the normal human since she came to live in our world, when her son (now in elementary school) was a baby. The NT knows, but she's the only one. And the basic premise is that autistics are really elf changelings, so separating her autistic traits from her elvish traits is a moot point.

But I had NO IDEA that those were normal getting to know someone questions!! ! Thanks!! (Gee, doesn't that inspire great faith in my writing ability?)

That's why you can ask me

Interesting premise about the elf changelings. Have you read that book I AM NUMBER FOUR? It's going to be a movie soon. I got all pissed off when I read it - wrote a blog post about it: http://saraclaradara.livejournal.com/152084.html

So anyway...if they are old friend and already know each other, the convo will be different. Like maybe it would be more like,

NT mom: OMG, You would not believe the day I'm having. (Goes off into rant about why her day is so crappy)

Now depending on the Elf's social skills, she might listen to that rant (or pretend to) but instead of empathizing and saying, "That sucks, can I make you a cup of coffee?" she might , when the NT mom finishes, say something on a totally unrelated topic. (My son will do that, and I'll be thinking, "did you just listen to a word I said?") But it's not like that all the time - some times he's really tuned in and will be very anxious about the fact that I'm upset and will almost perseverate - "Are you okay? Are you feeling better?" over and over. And he's actually learned that making me a cup of tea or coffee is a good thing to do, which is really lovely.

That's why I don't like to generalize. The traits are definitely there and you should be able to weave them into their conversations to show how the Elfies autism gives her powers but sometimes limitations in the human setting.

So...just out of curiosity...what questions would you normally ask when you meet and are trying to get to know someone? This is interesting for me.

BTW a very useful tip for a writer - go to any coffee shop or a mall food court or anywhere where there are groups of people sitting and chatting and EAVESDROP. I write YA novels, so even though I hate driving the carpools, they are a gold mine when it comes to picking up the patterns of dialogue.

I didn't realize people could get offended over something like that. Seriously, that just makes sense. Now what do I do?? I mean... I'm not offended at all by the idea, though I'm the one who's supposed to be an elf or a half-alien, rather than one or more of alien, alien's lover or parent who wouldn't know their baby was switched. Why are you so upset?

Meeting people and trying to get to know them? I try to find a common interest, sometimes desperately. Since most of the people I meet are on a forum, I usually know at least one to begin with, though. Like when I meet writers, it's writing until we're comfortable. Then it stays writing until the writing touches on something in real life. Then I say and ask things that have the same feeling, or are only slightly more intimate (e.g., sending a friend I'd only discussed writing with a link to a Japanese version of Jingle Bells). It's different if I've already been on a thread with them where we've been talking about stuff like that, like playing a mafia-style game where everyone's making jokes and chatting about stuff they like in the midst of the roleplaying, because then you already know about them and can start making statements relevant to that. It's honestly never occurred to me to ask anyone about family or friends. (Well, there was the one time, but he brought it up; I asked for clarification.) I'd rather ask them about their hobbies and such. People's families have never felt particularly relevant to me. I try to view families as units, but I can't. Perhaps that's why fiction about families resonates with me the way it does.

Yeah, I can imagine carpools would be great for that! I'll definitely try to eavesdrop next time I'm out, but... I don't get out much.

How would the NT mom react when the elf tells her that she's been found out (it was her husband, who in the meantime had become Commander in Chief of the elven military) and her fellow elves (who know she broke a very very important law) know where she is? (The son was staying over at the NT's house because the elf had reason to suspect that he'd be in danger if he stayed with her that night. Long story.)

I guess I got upset because I feel like my son is so cool and fascinating and smart just being a human being, and I celebrate the fact that for all the challenges he's had to face, he comes up with these incredible ways of thinking about things that never fail to blow me away. Like I was just helping him work on his college essay recently. His first draft was all over the place, so I helped him focus on one particular thing and said - "okay, this is what you want to write about - now expound on this." So he went away and connected it to something I never would have thought of to write this completely kick ass opening paragraph. Because his brain works differently so he makes these out of the box associations that actually make total sense.

So I resent that they're crediting that intelligence to an alien race. It's not because he's an alien. It's because he's HIM. I fully acknowledge that this might be the overwrought ranting of a overprotective mother.

Now, back to the story. How would the NT mom react in this instance? I would think her first reaction would be a deep concern for the safety of her elf friend and her son. She'd probably be scared, but would try to start problem solving what they could do to try to get them somewhere safe.
She might wonder what it would mean for her own safety and that of her son, too. She'd probably want to know how they found out. But the first thing would be to figure out how to get the elf and her son to safety.

Thanks.

Any awesomeness my elves have is not because they're elves. They may be awesome in some particular way rather than some other way because they're elves. They have some neat powers (and some neat drawbacks), but saying that's what makes them awesome is like saying a screwdriver is what makes you know how to take stuff apart.

It's funny that you want to include us in the human race. It's almost sad that I'm surprised. It's borderline-ridiculous that I'm not sure I agree.

But honestly, I think it's no worse than calling him autistic; they both describe him, and maybe you could say they both end up saying he's awesome because he's [whatever], but not really. It may be part of the how of his awesomeness, as well as some bad and neutral things, but it's not the why. Of course, maybe the book you read had a different take on it.

What should the NT do if the elf doesn't want to say, and though the NT knows there's something serious afoot, the elf isn't being forthcoming?

Learning to write fiction can be therapeutic for us aspies; however, painful therapy. Studying and learning to develop characters and write character sketches highlighted my deficits when it comes to understanding other's complex emotions. Writing consistently inconsistent characters is an extreme challenge, but I am not giving on on it just yet.

~Aspie Writer