Worst genre of music!

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Ganondox
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16 Nov 2012, 8:30 am

Bun wrote:

I'm not such which thread had a discussion about Metal subgenres, so I'll put it here:

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f**** her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and f**** the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**** the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, f**** the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f**** the princess and kills her. Then he f**** the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he f**** the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**** it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
DEATHCORE: The protagonist arrives in a tank top and brand new plugs, screams "f**k YOU SLUT" at the princess and precedes to hardcore dance until the dragon burns him to death.
STONER METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all smoke pot and dissolve blotter tabs while proclaiming themselves as being higher than the sun.
TECHNICAL DEATH METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all die of old age waiting for the new Necrophagist album to come out.

You could have just made your own.

Anyway, it's somewhat ironic that Power Metal is actually heavier than traditional Heavy Metal yet it's still regarded as being fairy-metal.

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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17 Nov 2012, 4:42 pm

LexingtonDeville wrote:

Spocktshirt wrote:

country
gospel
classical
jazz
spanish music
heavy metal

Why do you hate metal? What is remotely wrong?

I really dislike hair band heavy metal. Mostly it's because of the kind of people who listen to it around here though and it's just not a personal favorite but it's made worse by the type of people it attracts around here. It's the same vibe with country music, for the most part. So, the two genres I dislike the most are country and heavy metal.

LexingtonDeville
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17 Nov 2012, 6:03 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:

LexingtonDeville wrote:

Spocktshirt wrote:

country
gospel
classical
jazz
spanish music
heavy metal

Why do you hate metal? What is remotely wrong?

We have to thank grunge for killing off hair metal and putting the other sub-genres of metal back into the underground though.

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techstepgenr8tion
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17 Nov 2012, 7:54 pm

Bubbles137 wrote:

I hate drum and bass, so repetitive it gets right into my head (and body, can literally feel it going right through me) and gives me a migraine.

I'd at least agree with you on Pendulum and any other form of poppy/clown-step dnb.

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19 Nov 2012, 11:16 am

Heavy metal and Rap are my two least favorite genres. Rap used to be lower, but then OH MY GOD PERSONA THREE SOUNDTRACK

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20 Nov 2012, 11:46 am

Generally, there are only few music styles I really loathe because I tend to like almost everything I hear. But there is this music style called... SKA..? I dunno. I CANNOT STAND IT. When I happen to overhear it, I suffer as a dog. It is cheap and vulgar (not even the words, but the style itself).

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20 Nov 2012, 11:53 am

Bun wrote:

I'm not sure which thread had a discussion about Metal subgenres, so I'll put it here:

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f**** her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and f**** the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f**** the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, f**** the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, f**** the princess and kills her. Then he f**** the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he f**** the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f**** it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
DEATHCORE: The protagonist arrives in a tank top and brand new plugs, screams "f**k YOU SLUT" at the princess and precedes to hardcore dance until the dragon burns him to death.
STONER METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all smoke pot and dissolve blotter tabs while proclaiming themselves as being higher than the sun.
TECHNICAL DEATH METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all die of old age waiting for the new Necrophagist album to come out.

This is seriously priceless!! !! !! !! !! :lol:

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20 Nov 2012, 3:49 pm

Dear Bun, you are hysterically funny...and,sadly, accurate.....

Actually, I like Whitesnake and The Cult will live forever as far as I am concerned.

Can we fire Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, and all Reggae practitioners?

Thank you.

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techstepgenr8tion
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20 Nov 2012, 5:44 pm

Sylkat wrote:

Dear Bun, you are hysterically funny...and,sadly, accurate.....

For me when I was a kid and big into metal, pretty much all of what Bun described was the arch enemy of everything I liked - mainly in how people would misinterpret what I was into, why I was into it, and the AD&D geek or metal-fanasy angles couldn't have been more opposite to what I liked and why I liked it.

It took until Tenacious D before I was able to get a warm-hearted chuckle out of that kind of stuff and say "Okay, I accept that stuff now" albeit it likely helps that I'm no longer listening to or really identifying myself with metal anyway.

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20 Nov 2012, 6:53 pm

I'm not fond of Jazz but I have a great adoration for the Jazz player's musical talent.

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OMGitsKenny
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20 Nov 2012, 7:44 pm

The worst genre of music is no music at all.

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21 Nov 2012, 7:47 am

OMGitsKenny wrote:

The worst genre of music is no music at all.

This is the truest statement ever.

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21 Nov 2012, 2:58 pm

thewrll wrote:

OMGitsKenny wrote:

The worst genre of music is no music at all.

This is the truest statement ever.

I second that!

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21 Nov 2012, 3:47 pm

rap and manufactured pop. those two have probably had the biggest negative effect on society as well.

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techstepgenr8tion
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22 Nov 2012, 1:50 pm

A few alterations

Bun wrote:

THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, beats the dragon to death with a skateboard, and takes the princess to McDonalds.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance but misses the hair spray and lighter - I love the smell of napalm in the morning... . The princess then finds herself at the bottom of ta well hearing "It puts the dress on and does what its told!".
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic with the headlights dimming from a poorly thought out system jerry-rigged with electrical tape. A cocky guy in a bandana who looks like the bastard child of rap and WWE pro wrestling gets out, holds a gun sideways trying to look as white suburban gangsta as possible while loading the clip backward. Needless to say he blows his hand off.
DEATHCORE: The protagonist growls so hard that he falls to the ground from a fatal brain aneurysm.
STONER METAL: The dredlocked protagonist sits on a rock outside the cave, smokes a joint and does nothing. When the princess protests the protagonist says - "No worry, Ja will save you."

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26 Nov 2012, 12:49 pm

Heavy Metal in my opinion.

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