"To You", a poem I wrote about autism

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Dots
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24 Feb 2013, 1:22 pm

To You - copyright owner of screen name Dots.

To you
I am normal
But the secret is
it's just a shell
it's just a suit
it's just what I put
on my outside
so that you don't see
my
autism.

To you
I'm just a little weird
quiet
shy.
But I can't hide autism forever.

You don't see me in private
when I hit myself repeatedly in the head because
The noise is too loud
or the schedule got disrupted

You don't know that if I don't
schedule a shower,
I'll skip it.

The hours I'll spend immersed,
forgetting food,
forgetting studying,
forgetting midterms.

And all the unobtrusive
finger flicking and
leg bobbing
turns into full out stimming,
rocking and spinning
flapping and grinning.

I am autistic,
I can't make myself look normal forever.

To You,
I'm a mass-produced grey block
To me,
I'm an entire rainbow.


_________________
Transgender. Call me 'he' please. I'm a guy.
Diagnosed Bipolar and Aspergers (questioning the ASD diagnosis).

Free speech means the right to shout 'theatre' in a crowded fire.
--Abbie Hoffman


Last edited by Dots on 24 Feb 2013, 2:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CyclopsSummers
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24 Feb 2013, 2:53 pm

Nice poem, Dots. Not sure why, but I find it oddly comforting and inspiring, after having had an intense day.


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Dragoness
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24 Feb 2013, 3:51 pm

That's a good poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.



Harry8142
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24 Feb 2013, 4:06 pm

*applause* encore! encore! :)



Dots
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24 Feb 2013, 4:57 pm

Thank you. :) If I can force myself out of the house next month I might read this at a poetry event. I missed the one this month because I've been unable to leave the house lately for anything other than quick grocery shops or psychiatrist appointments.


_________________
Transgender. Call me 'he' please. I'm a guy.
Diagnosed Bipolar and Aspergers (questioning the ASD diagnosis).

Free speech means the right to shout 'theatre' in a crowded fire.
--Abbie Hoffman