Most laughably bad song lyrics ever...

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So, what are the most laughably bad song lyrics one knows?

"Someone left a cake out of the rain, but I don't think that I can take it, for it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again, Oh, No!", is often cited from MacArthur Park (1968). Who has some other ones.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xenGB_kuLIU[/youtube]

Muskrat Love by Captain and Tenille:
Muskrat, Muskrat, candle light
Doin' the town and doin' it right in the evenin'
It's pretty pleasin'
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug at a Muskrat Land
And they shimmy, Sam is so skinny

And they whirl and they twirl and they tango
Singin' and jinglin' a jangle
Float like the heavens above
Looks like Muskrat Love

Nibblin' on bacon
Chewin' on cheese
Sam says to Suzie
Honey, would you please be my Mrs
Suzie says, yes, with her kisses
Now, he's ticklin' her fancy
Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle
Now anything goes as they wriggle
Sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tango
Singin' and jinglin' a jangle
Floatin' like the heavens above
Looks like muskrat love

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=FxVWy-NslpI[/youtube]

Those are meant to odd. Now let's look at another of their songs "Bank Job".
It was an upset in two minutes flat
We were back on the freeway, foot to the mat
I can't understand it; we had it down pat
It's very upsetting, could we leave it at that?
We all had positions; we each had a role
We'd over-rehearsed it; we had full control
They can't teach you acting, it's there in your soul
It's the same with a bank job, and each thing we stole
So I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
Wait by the phone
I was the driver; you ran the show
You had the last word, the go or no go
I knew every laneway in Ontario
But it's not what you're sure of, it's what you don't know
It should have been filled with the usual ones
Throwing their cash into mutual funds
We all had our ski masks and sawed-off shotguns
But how do you plan for a bank full of nuns?
Well, I guess we panicked - we all have taboos
And they were like zebras; they had us confused
We should be in condos with oceanfront views
Instead we're most-wanted on the six o'clock news
So I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
And wait by the phone
Inside the police car you tried to explain
your crisis of conscience; the voice in your brain
And now that the whole thing has gone down the drain
I think we all know who should shoulder the blame
Cause you made a choice there, almost sublime
I'm all for compassion, just not on my dime
You looked like an amateur, and that's the real crime
So I'll take a walk now, and you do the time
And I don't need attitude
Cause you knew just what to do
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
There's no need to phone
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
We all did our best now
We all need to rest now
Leave me alone
Leave me alone

“Swag swag swag, on you/Chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue.”

This is cringe-inducing example from Bieber's ghost writers that I never remember having heard thankfully.

My brother was a huge fan of Bob Dylan when we were younger. You have no idea. He had just about every song, and there was one that goes ,"Everybody Must get Stoned". Title says it all. Or maybe it's about being hit with stones. Sure it is. There's a part that goes, "They'll stone you when you ask 'em to behave... they'll stone you when you're sittin' in your bathe". Bathe?? Does he mean bath? Are people stoning him while he's trying to take a bath? I'm not entirely comfortable with that mental image. Even my brother admitted Bob Dylan could have said, "They'll stone even if you're in your grave". Oh well. "I would not feel so all alone... Everybody must get stoned!"

Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 by Bob Dylan

Lyrics

Well, they’ll stone ya when you’re trying to be so good
They’ll stone ya just a-like they said they would
They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to go home
Then they’ll stone ya when you’re there all alone
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned

Well, they’ll stone ya when you’re walkin’ ’long the street
They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to keep your seat
They’ll stone ya when you’re walkin’ on the floor
They’ll stone ya when you’re walkin’ to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned

They’ll stone ya when you’re at the breakfast table
They’ll stone ya when you are young and able
They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to make a buck
They’ll stone ya and then they’ll say, “good luck”
Tell ya what, I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned

Well, they’ll stone you and say that it’s the end
Then they’ll stone you and then they’ll come back again
They’ll stone you when you’re riding in your car
They’ll stone you when you’re playing your guitar
Yes, but I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned

Well, they’ll stone you when you walk all alone
They’ll stone you when you are walking home
They’ll stone you and then say you are brave
They’ll stone you when you are set down in your grave
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned
Copyright © 1966 by Dwarf Music; renewed 1994 by Dwarf Music


Read more: http://www.bobdylan.com/ca/node/26237#ixzz2WSNIoi00


I think that's it... so there's nothing about being stoned in the bath.

Steal a car and go to Las Vegas oh,
the gigolo pool.
Hangin' out by the state line,
Turnin Holy water into wine,
Drinkin it down oh,
I'm on a bus on a psychedelic trip
Reading murder books tryin' to stay hip.

"Eyes Without A Face" by Billy Idol from Rebel Yell

I honestly don't know if it's laughable but some of the lyrics I've heard from him are certainly questionable.

You want laughably bad? Rockstar by Nickelback, some of the worst lyrics ever recorded. Debate closed.

the connection to the beatles and pot holes and royal albert hall

i read the news today "oh boy" 4000 holes in blackburn lancashire
although the holes were very small,i had to count them all.
now i know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall

very bizzare,the highway department in lancashire,england should sue the beetles for defamation of charactor

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show

Your Song, Elton John

Um, yeah, I don't see Elton John as a sculptor or a potion maker...

For laughably bad: How about These Boots, by Nancy Sinatra?
Clip courtesy of YouTube and user weissebrauen, all rights remain reserved.

"These Boots" by Nancy Sinatra

"Never Gonna Give You Up" (aka "Rick Roll'd) by Rick Astley. 'Nuff said.

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

CHORUS
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see (CHORUS)

CHORUSCHORUS
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it (TO FRONT)