What Song Are You *Feeling* Right Now?

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https://youtu.be/eeZAb1mdgXI

Fallen Embers: Enya

Once, as my heart remembers,
All the stars were fallen embers.
Once, when night seemed forever
I was with you.
Once, in the care of morning
In the air was all belonging.
Once, when that day was dawning
I was with you.
How far we are from morning,
How far we are
And the stars shining through the darkness,
Falling in the air.
Once, as the night was leaving
Into us our dreams were weaving.
Once, all dreams were worth keeping.
I was with you.
Once, when our hearts were singing,
I was with you.

https://youtu.be/iHe7XP9bqrE

Matchbox 20:
Unwell

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be, me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

XXXTentacion
SAD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgN-vvVVxMA

Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh
You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah
Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh
I'm sad and low, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah

https://youtu.be/qkCD_PacwGE

Cry for you:

This thorn in my flesh
Is the only thing I got left
And it's so hard to confess
When everybody thinks you're perfect
But I cry for you
If you feel it, too
And I'll cry for you
If you're so hard to lose
The elephant's in the room
Take it away, I beg you, take it all away
The pain it causes, it makes me wish I could fade away
If they knew what you knew, they'd probably shun me
I'm surprised you know it all and you love me
I know I break your heart
Body of death, give me rest if my heart stops
Then it don't hurt no more, can't get worse no more
Can't pursue all these desires, it ain't cursed no more
No more lies about my worth no more
I understand the thoughts of suicide that do reside
But when I stop and think about my family, I feel new inside
I promised I would die a thousand deaths 'fore I cause them any pain
But somehow I end up killing everything
I cry for you
If you feel a dark, twisted, heart-wrenching, hate-to-see-your-own-reflection
Praying for an intervention, feeling guilt and feeling shame
I just call on Jesus name
Praying daily, can you take away this pain?
Take the thorn away
Still, it remains, I
Feel the same, I
Know that I'm here, but
Still feel insane
Satan would love to see my give up and throw up my hands
He say I'm guilty but You say I'm clean
This thorn in my flesh
Is the only thing I got left
And it's so hard to confess
When everybody thinks you're perfect
But I cry for you
If you feel it, too
And I'll cry for you
If you're so hard to lose
The elephant's in the room
Sunday morning, or Sunday mourning
I woke up dead inside from all the hurt I saw before me
Evil tryna take away my testimony
Starin' at my phone, feelin' like a phony
Oh, I cry for you, I would die for you
To escape the pain I feel from all that I've been through
I feel it in my soul and in my chest
Take away this ugly thorn inside my flesh
Give me death
But grace is sufficient to start my mission
I'm so far from perfect, can't believe they listen
But hear a broken man 'til your healin' happens
And hear a liar tell you truth to bring you gladness
I could never boast in my accomplishments
I can only hope in God with confidence
Opposite of optimist, You and I are consonants
Broken all the vowels, deservin' of every consequence
Will you cry for me, or will you judge me?
Will you throw stones at my head, or will you love me?
I could never be everything that you wanna see
But crooked sticks draw straight lines, just look at me
(But crooked sticks draw straight lines, just look at me)
This thorn in my flesh
Is the only thing I got left
And it's so hard to confess
When everybody thinks you're perfect
But I cry for you
If you feel it, too
And I'll cry for you
If you're so hard to lose
The elephant's in the room

Songwriters: Lecrae Moore / Taylor Hill / Allen Swoope
Cry For You lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

"La Camisa Negra" by Juanes as a way to keep myself motivated to focus on completing assignments
for my Spanish class.

https://youtu.be/Jv8IqJm6q7w

I'll Find You:

Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But when you got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'm hanging on by a thread
And all I'm clinging to is prayers
And every breath is like a battle
I feel like I ain't come prepared
And death's knockin' on the front door
Pain's creepin' through the back
Fear's crawlin' through the windows
Waiting for em' to attack
They say "Don't get bitter, get better"
I'm working on switching them letters
But tell God I'mma need a whole lotta hope keeping it together
I'm smilin' in everyone's face
I'm cryin' whenever they leave the room
They don't know the battle I face
They don't understand what I'm going through
The world tryna play with my soul
I'm just tryna find where to go
I'm tryna remember the way
I'm tryna get back to my home
But, I can't do this on my own
That's why I'm just trusting in you
Cuz' I don't know where else to go
And, I don't know what else to do
Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
They say fear haunts
And pain hates
I say pain strengthens
And fear drives faith
And I don't know all of the outcomes
Don't know what happens tomorrow
But when that ocean of doubt comes
Don't let me drown in my sorrow
And don't let me stay at the bottom
I feel like this hole is too deep to climb
I've been lookin' for a way out
But I'll settle for a peace of mind
Picking up the pieces of my life and hopin' that I'll put together something right
Tell me all I got is all I need
Tell me you gon' help me stand and fight
The world trying to play with my soul
I'm just tryna find where to go
I'm trying to remember the way
I'm trying to get back to my home
But, I can't do this on my own
That's why I'm just trusting in you
Cuz' I don't know where else to go
And, I don't know what else to do
No don't let the fear
Make you feel like you can't fight this on your own
You know I, I'll be there for you no matter where you go
You'll never be alone, no
Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
Just fight a little longer my friend
It's all worth it in the end
But, when you've got nobody to turn to
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you
I'll find you
I'll find you
Just hold on, and I'll find you

Please don’t say “You are lazy”
Datte hontou wa crazy / Because you're actually crazy.
Hakuchou-tachi wa sou / Just like how the swans
Mienai toko de bataashi suru ndesu / Kick their legs out of sight.
Honnou ni juujun chuujitsuhonrou mo juujuu shouchi / Faithfully obeying my instincts, I accept being tossed around.
Zento youyou da shi… / My future is promising,
Dakara tama ni kyuukei shichau ndesu / That's why I take rests sometimes.

Kono me de shikkari misademete
Ikisaki chizu jou māku shite
Chikamichi areba sore ga oudou
Hashoreru tsubasa mo areba joutou

yaba Tsumewaretagurū de hoshuu shita
Sore dake de nanka tassei kan
Daiji na no wa jibunkawaigaru koto
Jibun wo aisanakyahito mo aisenai

Please don’t say “You are lazy”
Datte hontou wa crazy
Nou aru taka wa sou
Mienai toko ni pikku kakusu ndesu
Souzou ni isshou genmeigenjitsu wa zettai zetsumei
Hatten tochuu da shi
Dakara fui ni picchi hazureru ndesu

Sono me ni utsuranai dake datte
Yaru ki wa mētā furikitte
Itsudemo zenryoku de yume miru
Zono bun zenryoku de nemutte

yari Choi yasetachoushi dzuite kutta
Sore dake de nande?haibokukan
Sukasazu ni mokuhyoukahoushuusei shite
Juunan ni rinkihouhenshichihenge ga kachi

Please don’t say “You are lazy”
Datte hontou wa crazy
Kujaku-tachi wa sou
Koko zo to iu toki bi wo miseru ndesu
Gozouroppu manshin maishinganbou wa soushin reijin
Yuuwaku tahatsu da shi…
Dakara yake ni ishi kudakechau ndesu

yaba Masaka Red Point!?iya giri kuria!
Sore dake de nante zennou kan
Daiji na no wa jibunmitometeku koto
Jibun wo yurusanakyahito mo yurusenai

Please don’t say “You are lazy”
Datte hontou wa crazy
Hakuchou-tachi wa sou
Mienai toko de bataashi suru ndesu
Honnou ni juujun chuujitsuhonrou mo juujuu shouchi
Zento youyou da shi…
Dakara tama ni kyuukei shichau ndesu

As a means of coping with my mom unleashing her inner perfectionist once again.

I felt like this a few hours ago.

https://youtu.be/liZJAHAsynU

I Wish:

Yeah
I wish I never held back
Wish nobody had to sell crack
Then I may have seen my dad a little more
Maybe I can dream a little more
But I still wishing on stars in the sky
Wish a lot of people was alive
And I probably passed on a whole lot of truth
But I know about a whole lot of lies
Man I wish I had me a time machine
I would tell Martin it was all a dream
And I wish like Ray J back in 06
Guess it worked ‘cause I got my chick
And I wish like Kellz did
If I could change the clock
Man I’d change a lot
And I probably wouldn’t be so selfish
I woulda gave a lot
Man I’m ashamed of that
I wish I coulda told O thank you
Before it got way too late
I wish I woulda worked on my jump shot
But time just fades away
I probably wish too much
I know I pray less than I should
I know I did too much
I take it all back if I could
Wish I had another chance
Maybe I’ll do better
Maybe I’ll do better
Maybe I’ll do better
Every time I think about all of my mistakes
I just wanna turn it around
Be like oh oh oh ooh oh
Oh oh oh ooh oh
If I never went there, I would never know
Oh oh oh ooh oh
Oh oh oh ooh oh
Maybe I can turn it around
I wish I didn’t do it but I did it
Man it happened last night
Man I wish I would try to act like you ain’t never lost your sight
And I don’t even do it for the money
Except when I do it for the money
Trying to find yourself and you find yourself doing things in the dark kinda funny
I wish I had ten more wishes
I swear I got ten more visions
And life is a game that I can’t stop playing
Baby gimme like ten more minutes
I’m almost finished
I wish I had a little more time
I gotta whole lot of goals I wish I could achieve, I believe Imma lose my mind
Before I get to those
Yeah I miss the goals
But my shot was off
Can't tell what I lost until I count the cost
But I probably missed my calling
Wish I was a little bit taller
Wish I was a baller
Then again every time I get a little money
I be looking at the next man like he smaller
I can’t call it
And I wish I didn’t go and get high on the one first date
I was all zoned out, paranoid like “did you hear that noise"
And I know she probably thinking I’m cray (crae)
No pun intended
I wish I repented
A little bit quicker
Then again I didn’t pull the trigger
I know I said I have no regrets but I sure do wish every chance I get go figure
Wish I had another chance
Maybe I’ll do better
Maybe I’ll do better
Maybe I’ll do better
Every time I think about all of my mistakes
I just wanna turn it around
Be like oh oh oh ooh oh
Oh oh oh ooh oh
If I never went there, I would never know
Oh oh oh ooh oh
Oh oh oh ooh oh
Maybe I can turn it around

https://youtu.be/mRvyrZbuZcs

Longer:

Day has arrived, babies they cried
Wifey been up, 8:35
Smelling the coffee, I wake, then I nod
Wrestle with guilt, am I lazy or not?
Now it's 11, the AM has died
I slept through alarms, my anger is odd
I'm mad, but I'm not, I'm decaying inside
Too numb to be sad, I can't even lie
My heart is a drum, all its playing is, “why?"
The echo is loud, I'm vacant inside
I'm out of my body, I gaze in my eyes
I look like a zombie, say my goodbyes
It's killing my highs, I'm asking my God
To heal me I'm not asking for much
I just wanna say: how long will it be ‘till you take it away?
If you ever wonder
How long you'll be under
The weight is on your shoulders, but it won't be always
I know you losing patience
It's written on your face and
I can see you clearly, but all that I can say is
Just a little while longer, longer, longer
Just a little longer, longer for me
I'm sick of the pain, I'm finna complain
My doctor is lost, man illness is lame
'07 it came, and it's never the same
It's killin my job, it’s been killin my name
My label is mad, and I'm feeling shame
They not hearing back when they call me, and man
My new book overdue, and my brain is a mess
So what I'ma do? 'Cause my publisher's stressed
I'm shepherding too, I keep letting them down
'Cause my body can crash, then I'm never around
Nowhere to be found, but I'm in the bed
That’s for weeks at a time, and it's dead in my head
My wifey she hurt, the pain in her eyes
She tryna be strong, and just take it in stride
But it's wearing her down, and I'm asking today
How long will it be till you take it away?
If you ever wonder
How long you'll be under
The weight is on your shoulders, but it won't be always
I know you losing patience
It's written on your face and
I can see you clearly, but all that I can say
It don't take a lifetime
Waiting on a lifeline
The pain is only temporary
Feeling like your hands tied
Almost to the other side
Pain is only temporary
Just a little while longer, longer, longer
Just a little longer, longer for me

https://youtu.be/it32D88FlTQ

Can You Hold Me (Feat. Britt Nicole) by NF -

It feels like a tear in my heart
Like a part of me missing
And I just can't feel it
I've tried and I've tried
And I've tried
Tears on my face I can't take it
If lonely is a taste then it's all that I'm tasting
Do you hear my cry?
I cry, oh
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
Just wrap me in your arms, in your arms
I don't wanna be nowhere else
Take me from the dark, from the dark
I ain't gonna make it myself
Put your arms around me
Put your arms around me
Let your love surround me
I am lost
I am lost
If I ain't got you here
If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
In your arms? (Yeah, yeah)
Yeah, I feel like it's just me, feel like it's just me
What it gon' take? What it gon' be?
I don't even know (it's not just you)
But I'm lonely
Feeling like I don't even know me, I don't even know me
(I feel it too) Gotta have you gotta see you
(Yeah the only thing I have to think about
The only one I that can´t live without) I see you
(I need you to hold me now)
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you
I ain't got nothing
I ain't got nothing
If I ain't got you
I ain't got you
If I ain't got you
I'm lonely
If I ain't with you I'm lonely
I'm lonely
I need you
I need you
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
Feel like it's just me, like it's just me
What it gon' take?
What it gon' be?
I don't even know, I don't even know
But I'm lonely, lonely
Feel like I don't even know me
Feels like I don't even know me
I don't even know me

https://youtu.be/NTeCoBT2uu4

Paralyzed:

When did I become so numb?
When did I lose myself?
All the words that leave my tongue
Feel like they came from someone else
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I’m lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
When did I become so cold?
When did I become ashamed? (oh)
Where's the person that I know?
They must have left
They must have left
With all my faith
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I’m lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed
I'm paralyzed
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain then I buried mine a long time ago
But it's still alive
And it's taking over me where am I?
I wanna feel something, I'm numb inside
But I feel nothing, I wonder why
And on the race of life time passes by
Look
I sit back and I watch it, hands in my pockets
Waves come crashing over me but I just watch 'em
I just watch 'em
I'm under water but I feel like I'm on top of it
I'm at the bottom and I don’t know what the problem is
I'm in a box
But I’m the one who locked me in
Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I’m lost and it kills me inside
I'm paralyzed (I'm just so paralyzed)
Where are my feelings? (yeah, I'm just so paralyzed)
I no longer feel things (I have no feelings)
I know I should (oh how come I’m not moving why aren’t I moving ay yeah)
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me? (where is the real me, where is the real me?)
I'm lost and it kills me inside (I'm paralyzed, I'm paralyzed)
I'm paralyzed (I'm paralyzed)

"slide along side"