I read the work, in all it is fantastic. The paper was amazingly informative - I think about more than 60 biographical references! I learned so much, from the facial genetics among African-Americans to the influence of Sub-Saharan Africa on the Egyptian culture. You supported your thesis, thoroughly discrediting the "Dynastic" theory of Egyptian origin. You also explained how researchers reached their conclusions - for instance the curly hair range. You also made the argument from many different angles - the wide diversity of the African people, skeletal structures of Egyptians vs the Sudanese, the likeness of hair folicles - establishing that they were within the tolerance of African genealogy.
There was only one part which did not live up to the rest of the paper. The conclusion seemed tangential to the thesis of the paper. Bringing up, almost out of the blue, the subject of racism in a paper that seemed to be based almost exclusively on anthropology.
Beginning:
Quote:
These views, besides being tinged with racism
Conclusion:Quote:
Although the black African identity of the ancient Egyptians should not color our judgement of their civilization's greatness, it is nonetheless important to acknowledge for a number of reasons. First, knowledge of the Egyptians' African affinities will aid inaccurately reconstructing these ancient people and their culture, whether in artwork or infilms and television documentaries. Secondly, ancient Egypt's accomplishments show the potential that people of African people have and refutes the anti-black racist allegationthat Africans are incapable of any kind of civilization. Thirdly, if Egyptology as adiscipline admits the Africanity of ancient Egypt, that will help undo the damage inflicted by two centuries of denial.The time to accept the African background of ancient Egypt is long overdue.
This conclusion seemed to come out of nowhere when put in context with the rest of the paper. There was no elaboration on the racist conceptions present in American or European culture previously in the paper. There was no support for the phenomenon that Black artwork in films or television documentaries were at all impacted by a view of historical inferiority.
In order to have this paper be suitable for academic publication - which it seems certainly worthy of - you need to address the irrelevence of the conclusion in relation to the rest of the paper. Either elaborate more on the false racist concepts earlier in the paper, or edit the last paragraph.
I hope you decide to do the first, I liked the conclusion, I thought it was a good twist, but it just needs to be built up so it doesn't seem so random. It almost feels as though the conclusion was rushed.
It was really informative, and I liked your other papers as well. You write great academic works.
14 Jul 2011, 9:32 pm
