defensive about your interests

Post Reply New Topic

Do you get defensive when someone starts verbally attacking your interests? Do you feel like a buzz inside your stomach and you feel the need to defend?

Yes. Even if soomeone doesn't seem appreciative enough of something I've done or like. Sometimes I think of it for a long time afterwards too. I had to just start letting it go. Let people think whatever they want to think, it's what they're going to do anyway no matter what I do or say.

I've noticed when I manage to do that the other person will often have the opposite opinion the next time the subject comes up and will have completely forgotten the earlier disagreement. It could well be the argument that's important to them not the subject of it.

I don't see how this topic is relevant to the Art, Writing and Music forum.

Haha, good point EnglishInvader, I don't either.

I guess I subconsciously posted in this forum because I myself got very defensive over my special interest (music) on another forum.

Thanks for your reply Hmmmm.

Do you think it is common in Autistic people to get defensive?

I get sooo defensive about my interests! On my blog last night, I was asked to post a bunch of pictures of Conan O'Brien for a meme and one of my friends commented and said she dislikes him and I felt upset about it. I don't know why! I know not everyone likes the same things, but for some reason it really bothers me when people diss the people/things I like.

It might be common. This is the first time I've thought about it. But it must not be common with NTs because my sister always makes fun of me because of it. Not that she's the Patron Saint of Normalcy herself.

Yeah definitely, especially about our interests, privacy and our right to do whatever we want to do It's why they call us stubborn

For me, it depends how sensitive I am on the subject. I can take opposition views to my hobbies/interests with a grain of salt and any form of ridicule or sarcasm is water off a duck's back to me. I only get angry when my sense of pride or integrity is brought into question.

Definitely!

Yeah. But it goes away after awhile, numb to it I guess or just don't care anymore.

For my tastes in music - if someone's just ignorant and bumbles on about some pejorative or stereotype; not really interested enough to even get worked up. If someone was really trying to lay into me however, that's conversation's not really about music - its about me and them, different story.

As an artist and a poet I am more uneasy when people merely say they like my work. It's ego building to get praise but I consider all my work as experiments in progress and I learn much more from people who are analytically critical and can tell me what I'm doing wrong. It makes me think about how to look at my work from a different angle. I don't always agree with the criticism but it's very useful.

Thanks guys for your replies guys

It's just, on another forum someone started stereotyping Dance music as being purely for young druggies. I do not touch drugs nor do I drink when I listen/go clubbing/dance to this music, and I also make such music myself so I started getting defensive. It is a gay forum I am on and even went so far as to compare this person to homophobes who say gay people started AIDS. Apparently it's ok for this person to discriminate against young people as druggies for liking Dance music, but he takes offense when I say his behavior was comparable to homophobes. Kinda feel like my feelings weren't being treated as equal.

Ulp. Yes, 'fraid so. More so if it's someone I know, because if they make some nasty comment about something knowing I'm into it, it feels more of a personal dig.

I hate it when people assume I'm a) into drugs or b) a 'sad self-harming emo kid' based on me being a Nirvana fan. I'm 40 years old, have never taken drugs of any kind, and while I have suffered from depression, these people don't of course have a clue what that actually means. Or that I listen to the music because it helps me feel better. Hubby's had the same issue with people thinking he's a Satanist because he listens to dark metal, or assuming he smokes weed because he listens to prog. It's all blind prejudice.

I do...

especially when they are up on my ass all day long asking questions about whether or not I am sincere in my obsessive pursuits to find god and understand the ape mind.

oh yeah tell me about it. Thats why I dont talk about my interests in the first place. It feels better that people dont know...

i feel defensive of most things un unwarranted attack. interests included haha.