"I'm Writing Humor about Cosmic Horror..."

Post Reply New Topic

I'm writing Humor about Cosmic Horror, Terry Pratchett style.
It's basically two stories, one about a teenager trying to get good grades and the girl while being malignly influenced by dark forces to release even darker forces onto the earth, and the other about a ragtag team of investigators who attempt to track him down and stop him. One was frozen (literally) for 3XX yeras, and thus needs to stay in a portable refrigerator at all times, one talks in a strange accent to improve the quality of his life, and one is an ex-investigator who became a teacher to get someone to listen to him.
Here's all I've written so far, with an added title:
The End Of The Writer
“Alright, then. Who needs a drink?” Charles asked as he walked into the dimly-lit room. It smelled strongly of wood-cleaner and old paper. He made his way to the furniture arranged in the middle of the room.
“Not quoyt at the mooment, my frehend.” The man hunched over the desk replied.
“I told you to stop using that accent.” Charles said as he sank into a loveseat.
“Wot akzent?”
“If you’re going to keep talking like that, Mr. Walker, I’ll just give you your rent back and let you go.” He said, removing the bottle from its bag.
There was a short silence in the room, filled after a moment with the other man’s footsteps as he moved from his desk to the futon opposite the loveseat.
“There’s been a problem.” He said, laying down on the dirt-caked cushion. His eyes appeared to glow in the darkness, well-adjusted. “Have you read the newspaper today?”
“No.” Charles said after a swig, and Mark Walker was up and at his desk. After a minute or so, he produced the already-fading newspaper page.
Charles took a hold of it and held it in the light of the half-closed shades.

It's an okay beginning. Your grammar could use work-- it should say:
"There's been a problem," he said, lying down on the dirt-caked cushion.

Futon are generally stored rolled up in a closet when not in use, by the way.

there are of course people who store them not at all, or in different ways


but yeah, the beginning is alright. I just feel its needs a bigger hook for some reason. Interesting concept though, I have always thought about making a parody of the cthulu mythos.

I'm thinking DRAMATIC PROLOGUE!

I'm thinking what you've got already is a better idea.

Just let the idea's flow, don't worry about spelling or grammar. Even Stephen King has an editor.