Why is it so hard? D:

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I'm trying to write a story that revolves around autism and a young sixteen year old girl finding love despite her condition. But I'm having a hard time with it. It won't be AS but an mild to moderate autistic disorder like what I have though, since I'm high-functioning, it will seem like she's an aspie.

I want to portray it as her showing difficulty in her abilities such as living skills due to strict routine or meltdowns and outbursts due to unexpected moments and whatever. I'm just not sure how to make it seem real and not like it's giving autism/AS a bad name. D:

I mean I'm autistic myself so this should be a cake walk...yet it's not. I was just wondering if anyone could give examples of these things that I could work with. I don't want my character to seem like she's having a tantrum because her mother told her to clean her room, when she's ACTUALLY having a meltdown because cleaning her room isn't in her routine, you know? Or she's in a supermarket and she starts screaming and crying out of nowhere because of the sounds around her...stuff like that.

Can someone just give me some ideas to help me write this story better? D:

Watch the movie (Mozart and the Whale)

It's a true life story about a Aspie couple who fall in love, a great movie.

It might give you some useful tips. Good luck.

Sometimes when you're writing, some parts will simply be harder to write than others. Taking a break helps me sometimes. Ultimately though I suggest just writing, consider it a first draft if you want, that way even if it doesn't seem as good as it could be, you can always go back and improve it later.

Take a look at other books written with autistic characters. I would suggest "House Rules" by Jodie Picolut, the same writer of "My Sister's Keeper." She does a pretty good job of getting an autistic character's point of view, even if it is too textbook Asperger's.

But I think my problem is that because my autism is somewhat well-managed, i don't have all the severe meltdowns/outbursts/overloads everywhere I go. So it's hard for me to really grasp what an autistic person is actually like. I want people to get the IDEA she has autism without just flat out saying, "Jade has autism and asks this way because of that." But I can't really use my autism as an example since like I said, it's being well-managed with medication and therapy.

I need to know reasons why meltdowns would happen other than just a change in routine or unpredictability. Like, if I write about Jade (her name) having a meltdown because the lights were bright in wal-mart, I don't want my readers to think she's having a temper tantrum like any normal child. I want to give her a few irrational fears that trigger these sudden meltdowns, like...say with her fear of touching cars or being too close to them because they might go off without her knowing and she has meltdown because one car is too close and she won't get out, so her mom has to open up the trunk to let her out that way.

I want to include moments where people will show a sudden but of ignorance saying stuff like how she's a brat or she's acting out and that her mother needs to punish her. Since Jade is well-aware and knows people are saying these things, it might make her wonder why they do that and why they don't understand her condition.

Something like that.

I write alternate history, and what I've found from both reading and writing in that genre is that subtlety is key. I also find that this works for any genre.

don't get too much into long narrative(i.e. your own) exposition-explain your characters autistic condition through thoughts, dialogue, and actions.

When I write alternate history for example(I'm working on a piece involving Martin Luther King Jr. surviving his assassination in Memphis and it's effects), I try to really get into the character's head, in my case a longer-living Martin Luther King Jr., whom has become further radicalized through witnessing the bloody end of the Vietnam War, which ended in a victory for the U.S.

Here, I'll show you what I mean with a piece from my story:

Just another thought - go ahead and make that main character like you. That's who you know best, that will be the way to get some honest detail into the story. When you're done, THEN if it doesn't seem like there are enough clues, you can look for ways to make the character more obvious, but you may find that the story works as is... this will also be a good point to ask for some feedback from some (trusted) friends.