Crime Fiction Story about an Aspie Boy: some input, please

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About two months ago, I posted an idea in this forum for a book. However, it didn't have much of a plot, only a lot of thought-out scenery. Now I have a different idea, which you'll find out in the next paragraph. The tone is going to be dark and tense, like the book Clockwork Orange, with added elements from Law Abiding Citizen and Righteous Kill (the movies that inspired it). It will be set in a fictitious town. (A place somewhere not in North America, but I haven't decided where yet.) The story will be in a realistic society in late 22nd century. The setting will resemble modern-day life, with late 80's to early 90's technology (for a slightly steampunk-ish vibe), although I might add inventions not found in today's world. The names for characters, organizations, and places will be added later.

The plot is as follows. For a long time the town of 200,000 people was safe enough for first-graders to walk to and from school alone and play outside after dark. Numerous public transit options and pedestrian-friendly streets let people enjoy the public spaces. Then crime grows at a horrendous rate, and streets are taken over by violent thugs. They savagely beat up random passersby purely for the sport of it, oftentimes not even taking their money, and in plain sight of other people. They use only their brute physical strength, since owning guns or any kind of mechanical self-defense devices was outlawed in 2183, and not even criminals can get them. The police is too weak and corrupt to be effective. This continues until...

...a vigilante force comes on the scene. Operating with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker and the fierceness of a US Marine, they obtain weapons illegally from the military, and start moving about town, shooting any thugs they see beating up a passerby. They use non-lethal but powerful bullets containing a drug that permanently weakens the muscle tone upon body contact. The police are only thankful, since it makes their jobs easier, and make only a vague, symbolic effort to arrest the vigilantes. A young aspie boy, second-grader, gets attacked by the thugs. (The book will make no references to AS, but his actions will be clearly AS-like). They beat him until some vigilantes shoot them from a moving car. The boy tells his story, and is taken in as an honorary member. Wearing a wire and a tracking device, he acts a decoy to lure thugs into attacking him or tells them to meet him at a vacant lot for a fight later, only to have the vigilantes show up with him. The boy experiences a great deal of personal growth in the process, and book closes when he's in sixth grade. Although the vigilante group quietly disbands, the town becomes the only place in the entire country where criminals are the ones who are afraid to be on the streets.

So, that's the end of the sneak preview. Let me know what you think of it so far, and post any ideas/comments/suggestions you can offer.

Just thought I'd add a list of facts, to give a gist of the book. Some of the facts may be works in progress, so bear with me.

SETTING: Fictitious city outside of North America
TIME: Late 2100's
ATMOSPHERE: Tense and dark for most of the book, becomes peaceful at the end
PROTAGONIST: Aspie boy (starting out in second grade), joined by a vigilante group.
ANTAGONISTS: Directly: Street thugs in the city. Indirectly: the boy's parents and teachers.
PRE-STORY: Before the book is set, the city used to be very safe. Then crime started to grow at as astonishing rate, making streets unsafe for all but the most violent.
CONFLICT: Street thugs are terrorizing the city. After the boy becomes a member of a vigilante group, he acts as a decoy, luring thugs to places where the vigilantes are hiding; then they step in, and shoot them with non-lethal, muscle-weakening bullets.
STARTING INCIDENT: A group of thugs attack the boy. A group that protects the defenseless see it from a passing car, and takes action. The boy joins as an honorary member.
RISING ACTION: More and more thugs become targets of the vigilante group. Since the bullets permanently weaken the muscles, they can no longer use violence to intimidate the public.
CLIMAX: A new law called Assault and Battery Response Act is passed. It allows victims of violent attacks to respond in any way, including weapons, and grants them immunity.
FALLING ACTION: The vigilante group quietly disbands, without publicizing it. Criminals become the ones who are afraid to be on the street.
RESOLUTION: The main character finds a girlfriend (he's in sixth grade by then), and they go for a walk together in an empty park at 10:30pm.
RECURRING THEMES: Nordic and Slavic mythology, railroads, implied AS-related difficulties with socializing, foreign-sounding place names, estrangement from family, having to seek help from someone who normally would be a source of danger.

So there's the gist of the future book. Let me know what you think.

Hey so I am not the only one who is writing a series with an Aspie protagonist!

Great minds think alike. I say you make your own rules. I like the concept behind this so good luck writing it ^^

Why does the crime rate go up sharply?

Does the economy tank, or what?

How does the boy's asperger's condition figure in the story?
Besides the fact that he has "some trouble socializing".

The only explanation I can come up with is "general degradation of society", and the opportunistic behavior that can arise as a result. Economy tanking is a good explanation, though. By the time the book opens, the crime is already on the rise, getting worse as the book continues. There will be flashback moments, from conversations with older city residents about the "good old days", and let the readers figure it out for themselves.

The boy's Asperger's will play a relatively minor role, since it's not the story's focus. For example, it makes him an easy target for the thugs that took over the city streets, and his analytical skills and detailed memory for public transit routes lets him help the vigilante group where he's in. But AS will not be mentioned by name; only readers "in the know" will be able to tell that the boy has it. Why not? I don't want the NT readers to take it out of context.

The boy's family seems to have disappeared early in your story. Were they killed? Or is he just seperated from them for some crises reason( like the boy in "Empire of the Sun" maybe) ? If hes a pre-teen then thats a rather central part of the story that I hope youve figured out.

Of the three influences you cited on your story the only one Im familiar with is "Clock Work Orange".

Clockwork Orange is ABOUT something.
Its about violence- and what happens when you try to deprogram violence out of an individual.

Your story is not ABOUT anything. There is no central theme.
Youve listed a bunch of themes but there is no real central theme.
Is it about society- and the role of government?
Are you advocating vigalantism?
Is it about a child coming of age?
Is it about overcoming fear of people different from yourself and forming alliances with them?
Or what?


I ( for one) would like to see you get more focused on the nub of the story.

Of course it's not clear what my story is about. It hasn't been written yet! The central theme, I suppose, is vigilantism. Not the "every man for himself" kind; then you'd have anarchy. But the organized force that does what the law enforcement cannot or will not do. The boy's family plays a minor role; they're blissfully unaware of the boy's role in the vigilante force. The vigilantes, in turn, protect the area near his school in exchange for them falsifying his attendance and grade reports. (Hey, this is vigilantism we're talking about.) So the parents think their son goes to school; he, instead, works for the force, and self-studies for a few hours a day; his aspie intelligence lets him do that very successfully.

Close to the end of the book, the Assault and Battery Response Act is passed, which allows citizens to act in any way that makes them feel safe whenever they become victims of the above-mentioned crimes. At that point, the vigilante force becomes redundant, and disbands. Nevertheless, the force's actions make criminals wary of going to the town where the book or the nearby rural areas. The ending leaves it up to the reader to determine how the society will function with the new law in place. The main character reaches puberty and finds a girlfriend. It's not about coming of age, but about what becomes possible once regular citizens are given the means to protect themselves.