My Shredded Soul

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I wrote this and keep editing it but I thought I would throw this out there to see if it is any good:

My Soul in Shreds

Watching you do everything you do, being around you,
When you took my hand, time and my heart stopped.
In my ears, every word you spoke sung with the sharp pain of pleasure.
When you looked into my eyes, my soul was bare for the first time.
Without doing or saying anything,
you moved my world and my heart cried.

I couldn't bear feeling like this for too long.
It was a new world for me, one that I never dreamed existed.
My heart opened itself up to you completely raw.
I had never met someone so worthy of being loved and trusted.
Someone who could show love so sweetly.
I had never known love like this before.

It is so hard to believe that it was all in my imagination.
Moments when we kissed or walking through a store,
Valentine's Day...oh what sweet memories.
The day you took me back.
So many, many memories. How I long for more.
How sweet was the pain of your attention.

Trying to move on, ripped my heart out to leave again.
This kind of love doesn't last if it is not shared, it burns out without fuel.
It would have turned to ashes and resentment.
This shredded heart that loves you so strongly,
Will always love you. You showed me what true love really is.
Even if I was the only one feeling it.

Light of how you moved my soul has been replaced by darkness of your loss.
And I am fumbling in this darkness caused by my own fear.

your effort is obviously better than anything i could conceivably conjure. but it reminds me of something tim buckley wrote way back when-

Once I was a soldier, and I fought on foreign sands for you
Once I was a hunter, and I brought home fresh meat for you
Once I was a lover, and I searched behind your eyes for you
Soon there’ll come another, to tell you I was just a lie.

And, sometimes I wonder, for a while:
Do you ever remember me?

Though you have forgotten, all of our rubbish dreams-
I find myself searching, through the ashes of our ruins-
for the days when we smiled, and the hours that ran wild-
with the magic of our eyes, and the silence of our words.

And, sometimes I wonder, for a while:
Do you ever remember me?

but to me, they both [yours and tim's] seem equally acute and adept.

Wow auntblabby, that is such a high compliment, thank you I used to write all the time and have forgotten that side of myself. Now I would like to get back to it. I've always found that poetry is the best way to begin.
I feel like such a fool for sending it to him. But I suppose in order to have closure you have to let these feelings out where they belong. I think it helped me too.

i express myself best in wrong planet prose, with a quasi-poetic dash here and there.