My poem.

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A Father from Afar
by Connor Bible

When I first laid eyes on you,
A sun set and another rose,
And a sea of wonder filled my docks.
But the sea would quickly dry, for
With your birth came also the chance to die,
Your sun extinguished by a bent finger.
I didn’t want to see you brought into the maelstrom with your first breath.
I wanted your seas to flow,
And so I let you go.
Junko Ogata.
A woman who wanted to keep her roots flowing,
But tragically, could not.
With the end of a mother’s heartbeat, came the tempest of another.
Enveloping you in her arms before me, I let the darkness, the dread, be cast away.
I wanted your happiness to coalesce, and out of curiosity, asked of your handle.
“Ryuhei,” she gasped so bittersweet.
When you took off as a dragon, I was locked between grief and hope.
And a sea flowed from my eyes as I groveled on the new barrier between you and me,
That bore the mark of my hand.

What followed were glimpses, specters, fragments of glass and chances missed.
There you are, wrapped in Junko’s arms, face glued to a breast not of your blood, but yet of your blood,
There you are, running after Junko and embracing her as she
steps from her hover, after a long day's work.
There you are, building a sand castle.
All the while, I plead to be there.
But I should not.

I am Ranus Balkarus, the legendary solider, an Alpha.
I am your father.
From the blood, and from afar.

Here it is in video form.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncf261XRHFU&feature=plcp[/youtube]

YO! Need feedback!

Pretty nice. I could never bring myself to recite a poem on YouTube so that's pretty brave of you.

Were you nervous that day or do you have a nervous tic? Jus curious.

Most definitely a nervous tic. The words just don't come out for me sometimes.

I normally critique song lyrics, not poems, so this may or may not be helpful... but the one thing I had trouble with was keeping the characters straight. For example...

asked of your handle.
“Ryuhei,” she gasped so bittersweet

Now if that "she" in the second line had been "you," I'd have followed, but I'm not sure who the "she" is supposed to be. The line about "the end of a mother's heartbeat" makes me think that Junko (the mother) died, but maybe I'm getting confused about that. If there is a known legend behind this, I'm not familiar with it, so I'm just reading it as an original piece.

One thing I like about the piece, though, is that in addition to being a mythical "dragons" type story, it also works as a metaphor for the dad who remarries and is disappointed that the child doesn't get along with the new wife.

I liked this overall, just had a little trouble keeping track of who's who. FWIW, I did not view the video, just based my comments on reading the poem.

Reading comprehension, much?^

Actually, Ranus Balkarus is an alien soldier and spy, a member of some Earth defense organization. He made a lot of enemies, so after his lover died giving birth to Ryuhei, Ranus gave him up for adoption. Junko was incapable of having kids.