would like some feedback

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DrSnow
Butterfly

Joined: 27 Jun 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 11

30 Jan 2013, 10:46 am

i was sitting on a idea for a short story and i finaly wrote it and it would be very nice to get some feedback

http://www.scribd.com/doc/122955861/Snow

i'am kinda new to this kinda stuff so sorry if anything looks odd or something.

redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

30 Jan 2013, 12:53 pm

Try to get someone to work with you on your grammatical errors because it makes reading your introduction and story difficult. That said, your story is visual and has good ideas. Yes, it was depressing, still, keep up the good work.

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WolfieBoi
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Oct 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 33

01 Feb 2013, 2:28 am

Quite a dark vignette...

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BlackSkimmer
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 31 Jan 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 40

01 Feb 2013, 2:40 am

Question
Is it ok if we make correction and then email to you?

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