I used to be kind of obsessed with the band Orgy. I got back into listening to them over Christmas, now I'm listening to their interviews, reading about them, watching their videos on youtube – and sort of going back toward being obsessed, except I really can't...because they broke up!
I don't know how to describe it. It's a horrible feeling to know that they won't be making music together anymore, that I won't have access to them anymore and will have to be content with their existing work. The original members fit together so perfectly. Now the band is full of new members (the vocalist is the only original member left), and this is bittersweet...kind of gives hope, kind of feels like a drawn out death (the new Orgy apparently has a funding problem and has already lost a new member).
And my feelings are even more complicated by the fact that two of the original members have formed a new band (which has also recently lost its drummer...these bands are so freaking unstable!) which sort of continues the soundscape that made me love Orgy, but not really. The vocals are more ballad-like and storytelling-like (Orgy's vocals were bizarre/ambiguous/bitchin'), the synth is more something you can groove to than something that jumps out and slaps you in the face. Their music is ok, but boring. Something to zone out to instead of something to listen closely to and appreciate the musicality.
It's hard to come to grips with the fact the musicians are people with their own priorities and artistic interests, who change over time, rather than my own personal jukebox. The music changing, that's the hardest to deal with.
Ok, that's my obsessive rant.