Creative ennui

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Maybe a bit of an oxymoron of a title, but I suppose that's about as likely to get clicks as anything.

I've been an amateur author for as long as I've been an adult. It started with roleplaying games like dnd doing backstories, moving on to forum and MUD based roleplays, and then attempts at novelization which invariably failed due to lack of motivation or lack of direction.

I can never seem to finish anything I start with regards to personal projects, and everything that even manages to entertain me is a fanfic or after action report of some video game that I'd have written.

I'm not about to say I'm a great writer, my grammar is riddled with quirks and errors. I used to be able to produce voluminous blocks of text but now I struggle to put together scenes.

I wonder how much of this is a result of medication and how much of it is just plain getting older and dumber and rustier. I'm in a deep rut right now, with few original ideas left to explore. And barely anything occurs to me anymore.

Eh just needed to get out that bit of negativity. I don't know if I'm after any responses or whatever. I just feel lacking direction and discouraged with my inability to stick with anything for decades.

I don't know if I can offer any helpful advice, but I just wanted to say that I understand your feelings. I used to have a never ending fountain of creative ideas, and due to health challenges and probably medication, I feel like my mental capacity for creativity has all but dried up. It can be difficult to concentrate on any one task, let alone an involved project like a full novel. I would encourage you to not give up on your creative passions despite the lack of direction. Even though it can be unutterably difficult at times, you are the only one who can choose a direction for yourself and your writing. Continue to pursue it, no matter how dry the season, and push yourself to maintain a direction. I hope you have more success in the future!

I'm currently having an explosion of literary creativity, though there have in the past been long dry spells of creativity for me.