Chanestory 2 [the new hiro and the lava monster]

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Once upon a time, in an island far far away, there lived a blob of mucus called Basil. Basil was quite good looking as far as mucii went - a kind of greenish tinge around the edges, and a transluscent aura glowing from the centre which he was quite proud of - a bit like a reverse effect anticol cough drop. Unfortunately for Basil, he was a little oversized on the standard mucus rating of healthy and acceptable dietary and excercise requirements front. That is, he was well over 6 m in diameter with a fluctuating height of between 500mm and 2600mm, depending on his mood. This made cuddling friends and relatives a little claustrophobic, seeing as none of them were over 10mm in diameter. This made Basil extremely sad. He meant well, and yet everytime he approached family and friends, they wobbled away in fright. One day, something happened that dramatically changed Basil's life. He decided to become a human superhero. There was one problem with this.... He didn't own any tight underwear, let alone suitable pyjamas (oh yes - and he wasn't a human). What to do!!????? He set out to find a nice skimpy black and silver outfit, with fillagri edging, and some cute tucks and cuts in just the right bits. Boy did he look good! (for a 3 tonne suphiro)

Alas, finding no pyjamas or underwear in the sinuses he occupied, Basil reluctantly reviewed his life goals! It occured to him that he might seek a record contract, as he/she possessed a marvellous contralto, with a resonant nasal quality. So, it came to pass....the artist we now know as Britney Spears came into being. Britney Spears (or Basil) soon became financial enough to purchase enough underwear and pyjamas for all the inhabitants of the African Continent.

At last, Basil's dream of becoming a superhero was on the cards once more! Or was it?....

It wasn't. Basil (aka Britney Spears) was constantly busy. Until one day, in the not-so-distant future, "Britney Spears" became the most unpopular singer on Earth. At her record signing, only one person showed up, even though many advertisements for it were placed all over the world. Her "parents" locked her out of the house. People dumped her CDs into bottomless pits. Basil decided the only thing to do was to quit singing and go home to the island where he was born, far, far away from where you live (unless you live in Antarctica). (Oh, and how he managed to squish himself into the form of Britney Spears--and to look like a woman--is a mystery.)

Unfortunately, all the best intentions, do not always make things happen, and poor old Basil remained trapped in Britney Spears. (Very uncomfortable given the nature of her/his underwear - probably explains the singing). Fortunately Britney had met an ally in her dark and highly successful past, who, unbenown to her, would soon save the day.
Wobbling sadly on his/her way one dismal sunny day, Basil/Britney unexpectedly collided with an old mate - the Lava Monster! (who's old alter ego Madonna, had also fallen from grace recently)...

"Madonna?" Basil/Britney asked. "Yes?" "I need some help. I'm losing my fans." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Can I see the Lava Monster? She always gave better advice." Madonna transformed into the Lava Monster, another blob measuring about 10mm in diameter, having a height of about 250cm (although changed a lot because she was more emotional than Basil and she needed to be Madonna a lot, but now that she was back in her birthplace, she could change back to her old self), and with the color and feel of molten lava (when not Madonna, of course). "Hi Basil, I mean, Britney Spears." "Hi." "It's good to have you back. There's no other mucii or lava blobs here that can dance and sing like you can, except, of course, me." "Thanks." "While you were gone, my weird little brother, Booger (aka Michael Roberds aka *THE NEW* Fester aka Blue Man Group dropout aka twin brother of the long lost Snots [aka Michael Jackson]), came here to stay." "Why's he weird?" "First of all, he doesn't look like the rest of us lava blobs. He's blue-gray instead of red. You know his twin, Snots. Well, he doesn't look like him or me. Second of all, he doesn't sing like me and Snots do. He acts. Third, he gives bad advice." "Well, I'm going to find this weird blob, if it's the last thing I do! I want to quit singing and become a superhero! And I want to do it ASAP!" "Suit yourself," the Lava Monster said while wobbling away.

For about a week, Basil searched the island for Booger (aka Michael Roberds aka *THE NEW* Fester aka Blue Man Group dropout aka twin brother of the long lost [lava blob] Snots [aka Michael Jackson]). When he finally found Booger, he was catching an airplane to Canada, but Basil yanked him off at the last minute. "Are you Booger?" "Yes, I am!" he said in a squeaky, high-pitched voice. "I wanted some..." "Autographed pictures of me as *THE NEW* Fester?" "No. Advice on what to do with myself." "Sing." "Done it for a while, but then lost my fans. I want to be a human superhero." "A human superhero?" Booger asked. "Yes." "First, you need an outfit." "I got one." Basil pulled out the nice skimpy black and silver outfit, with fillagri edging, and some cute tucks and cuts in just the right bits mentioned earlier. "Oh. Now, all you need is a human form." "I have one. Britney." "Other than that." "Other than that?" "Yes." "No." "You could wear makeup." "Weird idea, but also rather good...thanks! I'll try it!" "Can I go home with you so I can make sure you use my idea?" After shrugging his shoulders, Basil let out a "sure."

Basil headed home to his house, the one on the island with a 30-foot-high, 100-foot-wide doorway and really high ceilings, which made Booger feel like he was shrinking. They went into the bathroom.

The Lava Monster was eavesdropping on the two of them, but all she could see (the window was blacked out) was Michael Roberds standing in front of Britney Spears. She heard the following: "Hold still. There's lipstick all over your face." "Is there?" "Yes." "I didn't know that." "There is. Let me wipe it off." "You're smearing it!" "Take it this way. Maybe you could be Smearedlipstickperson or something." "Really?" "Yes." "Can I?" "After I finish the other stuff." "What do you still need to do?" "Nearly everything." "Really?" "Yes." "What are you going to do with that?" "Relax." "This is insane." "I know. I smeared your lipstick with my collar." "Not THAT!" "OH. I thought that was insane." "It is, too." After the makeover was done, Basil looked in the mirror and screamed. "Why'd you do this?! I look like that character you had on that show, only with smeared lipstick on my face!" "Fester?" "Yes. *THE NEW* Fester, out of all things! Besides, I thought you were only going to put some makeup on me, when you shaved my head!" "When I said 'makeup,' I meant 'extreme makeover.'" "Extreme makeover?! Well, it's extreme, all right. Extremely insane!" "I thought you looked great." "Well, I don't. I look like a cross between you and Britney Spears!" "Sorry." Basil then threw on the costume he had that was described earlier, and looked in the mirror again. "Now I look like something from The New Addams Family." "Keep in mind I was once on there." "Why'd I choose you to help me?" "You came up to me." "OH. That explains everything." Basil went out into the world, ready to fight crime. He jumped up and tryed to fly, but then jumped too high up into the air and landed smack dab in the middle of a crime scene.