'Is It Worth It?'

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How do I answer my dad when he asks 'is it worth it'?
I'm a poet, that doesn't pay and doesn't win me street cred. Not that he'd care if it did, he's as autistic as I am (I suspect) and doesn't have lots of friends.
He used to be a teacher but now he's on disability pay because of more serious mental illness and sits around watching TV and listening to the radio except on Sunday when he goes to church. He is fairly active at church. Or he drives about the town in his car. I think his car is his specialist interest.
How do I explain to him the need one has to be a writer? The need to write? Because that's what it is in me. A sort of compulsion. I've heard other writers describe it similarly. In fact, there's a bit of advice that says if you don't need to write, don't.
But that's so hard to explain to a non-writer/non-artist. (he used to do art but hasn't in years because he doesn't see the point). Especially one who's probably aspie and is very blunt about how he views the world.
He said it last night when I told him I was writing a 10 segment lyric poem which will take a week or so to perfect.
Unlike some who would say it, I know him well enough to know that from him it might be a genuine question but it comes across like a rhetorical question with an implied negative.

I believe writing is "worth it." I'm a writer myself.

These days, unfortunately, it's almost impossible to be a creative writer making a living out of creative writing. It was an impractical career even back in the old days---but it's worse now.

Most people who have pretentions to "being a writer" become something like an "editor" or "proofreader." Or just do any jobs that "pays the bills."

In some cases, while the writer does these jobs, he/she could, simultaneously, work on a novel or book of poetry. And the writer could "shop around" seeking to get published.

In a few cases, the writer succeeds in securing publication. In even fewer cases, the writer succeeds in obtaining sales enough for his/her work to make a profit. In even fewer cases, the book earns enough to preclude one from having to work another job.

I believe it is worth it to continue writing as a creative endeavor----but as a means to earn a living, one must, at least, have a "backup plan."

I guess I would explain it in the following way. I am an Aspie. One of the traits of Aspies is a remarkable ability for intense focus is a common trait, becoming an expert in a single object or topic to the exclusion of all others, the capacity to persevere in specific interests without being swayed by others' opinions.

My special interest is literature, specifically poetry. I am perfecting my skill in that subject. My goal is to become the best darn poet that the 21st century has ever seen.

All writing can be rewarding but not in the financial sense.. No one wants to pay for poetry at any rate so that's definitely something you do because you love it and feel the compulsion.

I still hope to make my writing pay but realize it's not an easy path to tread. I like doing it but have never been paid except for a pittance for some occasional academic proofreading.

It's the creative satisfaction that counts. I write articles in order to introduce folk who may trouble to read them, to interesting people, animals or places they might not have heard of. I want to share fascinating info with others. Getting paid would be fantastic but I can't count on that happening, at least not yet.

I don't think he's asking for financial reasons, he's been on and off disability pay for most of his life himself and in and out of (mental) hospital. So he understands that I'm on ESA support level because I'd find conventional work too stressful. (Not just an aspie thing, but partially)
I think he just means, and this seems really annoying to me, is it worth producing things and putting things out into the world ...
I mean to me the answer is an obvious yes. But considering he isn't doing anything like that at the moment himself it's hard to convince someone who's apathetic.

I'm sorry he's not more supportive of your efforts. It's because he doesn't understand it himself and probably never reads any books.

It can be hard to get some family members enthusiastic about what floats our boats.

What makes your dad happy?

Would you tell him that what makes him happy isn’t “worth it?” (Provided that it isn’t anything that harms anybody).

Writing poetry is a heck of a lot better than playing tiddly-winks....that’s for sure!

You write because you have to. Keep writing. Share your successes and failures with us... if it helps.

I don't recall ever hearing my dad say he was proud of me in any of my artistic endeavours... or in any of my endeavours... full stop. So I'm not the best person to comment on parental encouragement.

There a song by Status Quo called “Pictures of Matckstick Men.” Big hit 50 years ago.

He sounds really Aspie-like from your description.

One of the individuals in our small town started to write children's books. Her father is a retired school teacher. One of his hobbies was drawing pictures. He was quite good at it. Anyways the daughter convince her father to produce the drawing in the children's book while she wrote the story.

Who knows maybe you could write a poem about an adventure driving in Spain and ask your dad to produce the illustrations. You and your dad team together. It might be an interesting project.

I am not too sure what the reference to matchstick man is but the urban dictionary says: Refers to simple or rudimentary pictures (drawings, paintings, etc) of people. They're called "matchstick men" because their limbs are made of simple lines, or matchsticks.

But anyways you could wrap that into the poetry also.

It's Lowry I just googled it. I hate names, I always struggle on them but I've been to the museum myself and it's really good And my dad can do really good reproductions of it
https://www.kingandmcgaw.com/prints/l-s ... ze:600,434
He did a reproduction of this picture and it looked just like this. This is the real one btw I don't have a picture of what he did.
Yeah, I'm like 99% sure he's aspie. He's also touch sensitive, he's like me that he can't wear watches and things. I'm not sure why he's not been diagnosed autistic. I don't think he's diagnosed autistic for the simple reason that he gets it mixed up with dyspraxia and he's not dyspraxic (I am). Most people I'd say 'it's an age thing' but that's people who haven't been in the system most of their lives like he has, I'm surprised his doctor never mentioned autism. All I can think of is it's a bit trivial compared to his illness so maybe the doctor didn't want to burden him?
I think next year/his birthday I'll try to do a poem for him about Spain or cars or something. He tried to do that for me once (he plays guitar) and I didn't appreciate it enough, I was about 15 and just getting into poetry and aspie/a selfish teenager. I got him a Beach Boys CD this year because he likes to listen to that when he's driving around.
When he's healthy he's actually an amazingly creative and clever guy. I don't like that he's got this apathetic and losing a lot in the way of his natural smarts and creativity. I hope his doctors are keeping an eye on it. It's one thing to be naturally like that but he isn't, he's naturally an amazing guy in a lot of ways and he's been losing that over the years.
I don't like seeing him face to face cos he has a meltdown every time we meet up. My illness (I have social anxiety) and his illness don't mesh well.

Some people are able to make their dreams a reality.

I wonder, for instance, how the Wright brothers felt when they finally got off the ground, however brief the flight was. Not sure if they high fived those days but I'm sure they did something equivalent..l

I am going to stick my neck out and say that, in this specific case, he may well be asking you why, to help answer his inner question of how to get back into whatever it is that he truly loves. I think he is asking you why because he can't see why in his own life now, not because he doesn't understand yours. I think he gets it in you. He just wants it back in his own life too. That doesn't mean sharing this will be successful for him or for you, but it may be a better perspective from which to view it.

Of course there are plenty of parents who do not understand nor appreciate their children's talents and aspirations and I'm not saying that isn't the case. Just, because he has been "there" before and is aspie, it may be something else.

I think it's this.

He's getting into things because I'm into them, which I think is quite nice actually. I did list his TV habits changing here but not sure if people will understand that. It's not a challenge to an aspie but it's a challenge for him to do it with his mental health problems.

He's getting back into reading. At the moment he's reading fact books. I like the fact that he's challenging himself into not just being passive - there's a certain amount of decoding that takes place when reading as opposed to TV, and when you read a fact book (a real fact book) you learn facts about the world you wouldn't learn otherwise.

He's also gone back to his guitar. So that's a creative outlet. He's learning it through you tube after learning that I learn a lot of visual art that way.

So maybe all this questioning was his way of thinking 'what should I get into' and 'how to I get back into doing something productive with my day' rather than 'you're wasting your time and should just watch TV with me'.

I know we live in a capitalist world where you need money to survive. But the UK is a mixed economy and my family have enough that I'll be ok when I'm alone, as well as me being on benefits for people who can't work. The working world made me ill. So I'm not going to listen to ableist comments about 'you should have a day job'.

This is definitely not what dad's coming from, he's been on the same benefits on and off through his life and spent time in sheltered housing/hospital. At the moment he's living in a bedsit and on the same benefits I'm on.

I'm not successful like Carol Ann Duffy but when it comes to people in the poetry world, they know me. I've eavesdropped (not sure if this is the right word) on twitter conversations where one poet said to another 'she's good isn't she' about me, without me being aware I was reading it. I'm nationally/internationally published. So, the only reason I'm not making cash out of poetry is, there's little cash to be had there. In fact, there's £150-£500 pounds I might win if I'm shortlisted for a competition I'm currently longlisted for.