Listening to Placebo, finding bits of myself.
I was just replaying Placebo's 'sleeping with ghosts' album and a couple of things stood out to me as I was doing so. It's one that has always resonated with me, but I listened to it for the first time since receiving my Autism diagnosis and it got like a hundred different thoughts running through my head all at once. I won't share all that many but a few things in particular did stand out.
The first thing I noticed was that on the titular song of the album it uses a riff that I wrote myself for one of my own songs. Total coincidence, but it made me sit up and pay a lot more attention to what I was listening to. This riff isn't anything I have written down and there aren't any accompanying lyrics, it's just something I came out with during a jam session that I really liked and now play to myself very often when I do jam out on my guitar.
The next thing that came to me was when the song 'special needs' was playing. It made me realise, not for the first time, that I was a special needs child, but nobody at the time realised. It made me feel sadness for the life I maybe could have had if the needs I had then were recognised and met, if we knew as much about autism then as we do now (which I know is still not enough). I'm not totally sad though. If I hadn't gone through what I did through my childhood and early adulthood I wouldn't be who I am today, and I like who I am today, despite all the difficulties I have due to Anxiety, depression episodes and et cetera.
Music has a way of doing this to me a lot. At pivotal moments in my life it always seems to be something like this comes along and resonates with me allowing me to tell myself exactly what I need to hear at just the right moment. It was the same when I eventually allowed myself to start discovering who the real me really is, coming out as Trans listening to a bangles album. The connection there is another story for another time because that one is rather complicated.
What similar experiences have you all had if any?
What do you think of this in general?
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 40
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,517
Location: Right over your left shoulder
I had a friend who was huge into this band.
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I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell
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