A new poem I wrote, tell me what you think.

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I wrote this poem one night when I was sitting in my bed thinking. Typically I like my poems to rhyme, not very fond of free verse, however this being said, there is more that can be expressed in free verse than there can be in rhyme. Note that in this poem, when I say "I want to be free", I'm not implying that I'm wanting to commit suicide, I certainly wouldn't do that. The reference is meant as in free of being autistic, to be able to understand an feel more than I do now. Enjoy!

"Free"

Here I lay upon my bed,
The clocks says it's 12:41 am,
I can hearing the crickets chirping,
On this restless September morning

The stars have abandoned the night,
And a calmness embraces the morning,
Even my thoughts are undisturbed,
By my small night time companions

It's at this time I begin to think,
About days that have come and gone,
About what I did or didn't do,
To make my life worthwhile

I think about being autistic,
That nuisance that aggrivates my mind,
It leaves me weak and vulnerable,
Because I just can't understand...

I can't understand why people,
Live with such powerful emotions,
How they can be kind and loving one moment,
And cruel and insensitive the next

I can't understand why I am intimidated,
By people I shouldn't be afraid of,
And why I have trouble feeling anger,
At those who mock and mistreat me

I can't understand why I see,
Everything in just black and white,
People are either good or bad,
In my vision of sight

I can't understand why I,
Feel like an alien among humans,
We are of the same flesh and blood,
But our minds make us different

I am a jigsaw puzzle,
With all the pieces but one,
A piece of the human puzzle,
Has been left out of my desgin

I do not blame God for this,
He knows my aggrivation,
And I thank Him for helping me,
To deal with the isolation

But even so I want to be free,
To feel and know what others feel,
To understand my fellow brethern,
Not to be a prisoner of confusion

The prison cell is in my mind,
And I don't hold the key,
I want to see although I'm blind,
I just want to be free

Wow ... wow .... wow!

I'd like to add that to my Facebook and Myspace weblogs ... will you let me and if so
how shall I credit you? (by AutisticMalcontent as posted to Wrong Planet)? or with your
real name?

I like it so much because I am there RIGHT NOW.

I'm 40 yo and just got diagnosed, I'm going through a grieving process
because a "dream" had died, that of one day becoming 'normal' ...

If only ...