Feedback for my book introduction please

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I am writing a book about my travels. It will touch lightly on Asperger's syndrome, in that it will demonstrate barriers presented to me whilst traveling that affect me due to being an Aspie, and too the barriers of AS itself when travelling.

I would appreciate feedback on the introduction as follows.

Thanks

Debra



Introduction

Travel is one of my favourite topics of conversation; I can talk about it for hours if permitted, no doubt boring people. However, I often find it very challenging to converse with people once it digresses from travel and national culture, to popular culture. I suddenly feel a little alienated and unsure of what to say to continue being part of the conversation; not that I felt that comfortable as a member of the conversation in the first place. Even on the subject of travel itself, I sometimes feel like I am sitting on the outside, trying to squeeze bits in, hoping not to sound too boring. On subjects that are not my thing, any hopes of being part of a conversation are near pointless. I am comfortable just listening and observing people, or prefer going off into my own thoughts, from which I do not like to be distracted.

My favourite subject of all is Bearsac.
I know he is not alive, but Bearsac has really become a live ‘character’, and to not animate him would be to kill him. He evokes in people many emotions and reactions: affection, friendliness, laughter, openness, curiosity, intrigue, concern, fear, prejudice, snobbiness, confusion, comfort, discomfort, reflection, inspiration; and the list goes on. How, put in this light, can he not be real?

I am entertained by, and get a real kick from, the different ways people react to Bearsac; and I love the way he is spoken about by people face to face, on their mobile phones, and on the internet. I am not bothered by the bad things people might say about him or of me; I am a great believer of Oscar Wilde’s quote “There is one thing worse than being talked about, and that’s not being talked about.”

It amuses me how I have taken a teddy bear rucksack, animated it, and turned it into a near cult status figure. It is a great way of sharing something with people. He is great at getting people to be more open-minded. He inspires people; people learn things from him; and because of his ability to inspire people to share something with us, I learn from them.

Another topic of conversation is Asperger’s syndrome; why, because I am diagnosed with it. Rather I should say I am an ‘Aspergian’ or ‘Aspie’ and am proud to be different!

Asperger’s syndrome is a condition on the high functioning end of the autistic spectrum. It manifests in various ways and can have both positive and negative effects. It is typically characterized by issues with social and communication skills. Some people with AS experience varying degrees of sensory overload and are extremely sensitive to touch, smells, sounds, tastes, and sights. They may prefer soft clothing, familiar scents, or certain foods and may dislike being touched.
(sourced from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger%27s_Syndrome )


Having in the previous paragraph - used that internet sourced explanation which will maybe explain things that come up in the book - I will now like to point out that lots of Aspies simply understand our brain as being wired in a ‘different’ way to that which the medical world sees as ‘normal’ (or as we Aspies more correctly say ‘typical’).

It is society’s barriers that are the main issues for us: Attitudes of people and establishments that do not understand us and our needs, exclusion, sensory stimuli of everyday happenings that don’t hinder neuro-typicals. (a neuro-typical is someone with ‘typical’ brain wiring, or what the medical world and most people incorrectly call ‘normal’). Aspies tend to have to manually learn things that are natural for other people, like understanding non-verbal communication and unwritten social rules.

Of course, not having the same natural social understandings as the majority of the population means we may find it harder to fit-in into society’s often illogical, social constructions. Without understanding and acceptance of our differences, we might feel isolated by the expectations of fitting-in into a society to which we don’t have the neurologically built-in instruction manual.

I am not denying our traits as also being barriers, as often they are.

Aspies have lots of strengths: logical thinking not weakened by emotion or swayed by society; deep focus on things that interest us; loyalty, and ability to spend long periods of time alone. Some Aspies have unusually intense skills and some have unusual unique interests. These things are strengths but are often portrayed as weaknesses by the Medical Model of Disability way of looking at Asperger’s when portrayed as us not having empathy; being too literal; of having ‘obsessional’ interests and of being aloof. I am not denying that we are ever like these portrayals, but it is not like it is portrayed for all of us. Aspies have similar ‘Asperger’s’ traits, but not all have them all, nor all at high degrees. An Aspie wired brain processes information differently to the typically wired brain; this can give us advantages, disadvantages or purely differences. When I experience sensory overload it can be very hard for me to process information whether it be through the senses, thought or movement; I can become disorientated and panicky – especially in unfamiliar environments or situations like those met abroad.

Five months after diagnosing myself as an Aspie, at 38 years old, I was officially diagnosed. For me it was an answer to what went before and why I was ‘different’ in a way not understood or tolerated. It put my life in context and is still doing so. I celebrate being an Aspie and having a better understanding of myself, my growing understanding of others and of this peculiar world we live in.

Asperger’s syndrome is a wonderfully strange and misunderstood creature. She is thought always to be geeky, shy, retiring and shunning of others not from her small planet. Yet for some Aspies (like me) she allows us to be uninhibited by social rules, be at ease in our own company, not needing to be seen with another person, not fearing being seen to be alone. To this day I still do not really understand why so many people are scared to be seen alone. I can understand them maybe being scared of ‘being on their own’, but it is the being ‘seen’ to be alone that bothers people so much. Why?

As is often part of Asperger’s syndrome I do not understand a lot of society’s unwritten rules, and have no time for some that I do. I care not for the rule of not talking to strangers about things outside the range of acceptable small talk. I am not the stereotypical shy retiring type of Aspie; I find it quite easy, in my own way, to approach strangers and talk about things deeply with them. I do though have difficulty sustaining conversations if I have little interest or understanding of the subject. I am not good at, and have no interest in, general chit-chat, but I have manually learnt small talk to a small degree and although I don’t like it much, it enables me to approach people in a way more comfortable for them than launching into something too deep.

A lot of people think that Bearsac is a prop I use to allow myself to be able to talk to people. Bearsac is a hobby. He is more a prop for ‘them’ maybe, as he breaks down their fear and taboo of talking to strangers and makes me seem approachable.

I tend to get on better with people of a different culture to mine, maybe as I am not expected to take part in, and conform to, the British unwritten rules that I do not understand. Maybe the cultural difference means they do not perceive me in the way I am perceived by British people. Maybe it is because more effort is needed on both sides, to communicate where there is a language barrier. It could be that language barriers mean I don’t appear ‘odd different’ to people of other nationalities the way I so often do to British people.

Before I travel anywhere I study the culture of the country I am to visit, so to try not to offend; and try to learn some of the language. I feel more at ease with people of a different culture; I feel more accepted for being me. Having said that, travel can be stressful and stress can cause me sensory overload and mild OCD type traits, you may recognise some in the book. Most of the countries visited were before I knew I had Asperger’s, so I make no direct reference to them being AS traits until further on into my travels when I knew of my status as an Aspie.

I find it harder to identify false smiles, kindness and other positives in people than negatives; it is easy to hide real thoughts behind a false smile than fake anger or negativity.

The Aspie strength I hold most dear is the ability not to be inhibited by what I think other people think about me. Too many people, and I think it is in the majority, allow themselves to miss out doing things they want to, and some also do things they don’t want because they are worried about what others will think of them, or they feel the need to impress and keep up. Sometimes I am inhibited by my own self-doubt, like anyone else; but mostly I get on despite the fear. I love my Bearsac hobby and never let criticisms of the ignorami stop me playing my hobby and being myself.

Apologies if you find the book a little ‘self centred’ or ‘I did/went’; some Aspies can be like that. I wanted to keep an element of that in the book to portray some traits of Aspiness and also, so as to not ‘mend’ myself too much to fit into society.