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[Poem] Come Back Father.

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Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's

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Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand

21 Jan 2008, 6:57 am

Binded together by blood, not love
Feeds the fire of rage, he does
The candle burns bright, so does my mind
He makes me feel, what is undefined
Lives a life, in which he has no hope
Destroying braincells, one by one with the dope
Abusing and hurting, ones in his path
Ultimate destruction, can't you feel his wrath?
We're never together, but never apart
We never bonded, not from the start
Father and daughter, separated at birth
I'm glad, but sad, I want him back in my life
So hurt.



P.S = This is a rough draft...no editing so might not be very good at the moment.


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886
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22 Jan 2008, 12:49 am

very nice
especially like the 9th line @@

i take it you've never met your father?



SirJoseph
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22 Jan 2008, 1:45 am

the structure reminds me of an alliterative poems rhythm. i like it


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Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's

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Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand

22 Jan 2008, 3:03 am

886 wrote:
very nice
especially like the 9th line @@

i take it you've never met your father?


Yes...I have met my father.

We were separated at birth emotionally, not physically. He never tried to get to know me, until it was too late.


_________________
I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.