The Growing Age -Yatarus- (A novel by Phob)

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Phob
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

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Joined: 3 Mar 2008
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 88
Location: Scotland

05 Mar 2008, 2:00 pm

I am going to post an extract of the book I am writing at the moment. Please give me comments and/or tips to make it better. Thank you!

Quote:
Eva nodded and opened her mouth to talk, when they heard a loud shout coming from one of the apartments.
“YOU CAN’T STOP ME! I’LL JUMP AND I’LL END IT AAAALLL!! !!”
Eva and Rune ran into the apartment. “And you said there wouldn’t be any barging.” Rune pointed out.
“Well, I changed my mind” argued Eva.
The young woman, who was standing by the window turned around. “Who are you?!” she exclaimed.
“Your....friends.” Eva told her, smirking.
The girl frowned. “Go away!”
Eva flicked some hair out of her face. “Why are you committing suicide?”
The girl folded her arms. “Because my life sucks!”
Rune frowned. “Sucks?”
“YES!” exclaimed the girl.
Eva started raking through some draws, before pulling something out that seemed to of interest to her. “You take drugs, eh?” she asked, throwing a small packet of crack cocaine onto the floor.
“That is my business and only my business!”
“You might as well ‘end it all’. You have already shortened your overall life-span. You fool!” Eva told her, slowly shaking her head.
“Alright then!” shouted the girl, “I will!”
“Knock yours-kill yourself” muttered Eva, watching the girl throw herself out of the window. There were loud screams and gasps from outside.


Also, if you have any questions, please ask.