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amhealy
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07 Nov 2007, 7:05 am

I just posted how I met my husband, and I thought I would post a question.

Sometimes he gets mad about something, and he becomes kind of cold and distant. He's not mean, just becomes distant. Usually, when he's not mad, we're extremely close and I feel like I am really sensitive to him. But when he is mad at me, and becomes distant, my brain physically hurts, almost as if I am going through withdrawals or something. I can't concentrate on anything else at all.

Does anyone experience this? Anything I can do to help myself wait more patiently when he's angry about something? I hope I'm not making him sound like an *ssh*le. Well, he IS kind of an *ssh*le, but for the most part, he really takes care of me and understands me. Every once in a while, he gets mad at me about something.

I can do something or say something that sounds insensitive or makes me seem like an *ssh*le, and it makes him angry. Of course, 24 hours later, when he calms down, he listens to my explanation and then it all makes sense and he isn't mad any more.

I just wish I knew what to do about my brain hurting when he gets mad at me. It would be nice to know why my brain acts like that.



Aspie1
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07 Nov 2007, 10:56 am

amhealy wrote:
I just wish I knew what to do about my brain hurting when he gets mad at me. It would be nice to know why my brain acts like that.

If my brain was hurting from my girlfriend getting mad at me, I'd find the quickest fix possible. In other words, I'd take two Advil (ibuprofen) pills, and maybe eat something I like while waiting for them to take effect. My pain would then go away, and I could go on with whatever I'm doing. I don't believe in all that "positive thinking", "meditation", or "talk therapy" stuff; I put a lot more trust in medicine and technology. After all, why take the long way when a shortcut is clearly marked?



edal
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07 Nov 2007, 5:04 pm

"Sometimes he gets mad about something, and he becomes kind of cold and distant. He's not mean, just becomes distant. Usually, when he's not mad, we're extremely close and I feel like I am really sensitive to him. But when he is mad at me, and becomes distant, my brain physically hurts, almost as if I am going through withdrawals or something. I can't concentrate on anything else at all. "

You've almost got it, you just need someone to fill in the gaps :D

When we feel good and ESPECIALLY when we are in love a hormone called phenylethylalamine is released into the bloodstream from a gland called the pineal gland. The PLL (so much easier writing that) stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain in a similar manner to heroin which in time causes even more PLL to be released. Eventually you get into a vicious circle and your bloodstream is flooded with the stuff.

After your husband gets mad about something and/or he becomes cold and distant the supply of PLL suddenly shuts off, there's nothing you can do about this, it just happens. You then, quite literally, suffer withdrawal symptoms until either the supply of PLL is restored or your brain gets used to living without this particular hormone. Given that PLL stimulates the same areas of the brain as heroin you will probably be quite uncomfortable until things calm down.

Now the good news, there is a source of phenylethylalamine available on the high street from multiple sources. Chocolate, it's loaded with the stuff, especially the dark or plain chocolate. Just remember, a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.

Ed Almos

P.S. PLL affects the guys as well, just as hard.



amhealy
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07 Nov 2007, 8:58 pm

Aspie1, thanks for writing, but (LOL) I'm going to try Edal's chololate fix.

Edal, thank you! That is the explanation I've been looking for! It makes so much sense!

You know what? I've been in a few relationships and this has never happened to me before until now.

Want to know what else? I am half Hungarian. My dad's mother came from Hungary when she was 10-years old. :D


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brakesur
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07 Nov 2007, 9:23 pm

Ok, well it seems what you might be having is a simple stress headache. Well I don't think a headache is exactly simple, but you know what I mean. What I do is take 3 Excedrin. I know the bottle says only take 2, but really, what is one more gonna do? Even though I have a tumor which is a reason for many of my headaches, I know other people that I told to do this, and it works just as well with them. A bottle of them costs about 3-5$ depending on where you go. It's usually nothing more than asprin caffeine, and something else, but for me, it works wonders.

But don't be alarmed about it, most people get them.



amhealy
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07 Nov 2007, 10:21 pm

brakesur wrote:
Ok, well it seems what you might be having is a simple stress headache. Well I don't think a headache is exactly simple, but you know what I mean. What I do is take 3 Excedrin. I know the bottle says only take 2, but really, what is one more gonna do? Even though I have a tumor which is a reason for many of my headaches, I know other people that I told to do this, and it works just as well with them. A bottle of them costs about 3-5$ depending on where you go. It's usually nothing more than asprin caffeine, and something else, but for me, it works wonders.

But don't be alarmed about it, most people get them.


I appreciate your reply, but it's not a headache. That's why I say it hurts my brain. I have had headaches from time to time, not very often. There is a difference between the way it hurts my brain and hurts my head.

I have to admit that what I usually do is take Resperdal. That was prescribed to me back when they diagnosed me with bipolar. I don't think I am bipolar, so I went off the medication. But it is helpful when my brain hurts.


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Zara
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07 Nov 2007, 10:38 pm

When I was in my last relationship I started getting sharp pains in my head that shot through my head and neck and were only momentary. They seemed to happened whenever we were getting into... heated discussions. (the passionate kind :oops:) I had them for a while after it ended and they gradually went away.
I don't know if that's anything similar but the topic made me think of that.



Beenthere
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07 Nov 2007, 11:20 pm

Chocolate, brownies, fudge....nothing kills pain like chocolate...or at least it makes it more tolerable. :wink:


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edal
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08 Nov 2007, 4:54 pm

amhealy wrote:
Aspie1, thanks for writing, but (LOL) I'm going to try Edal's chololate fix.

Edal, thank you! That is the explanation I've been looking for! It makes so much sense!

You know what? I've been in a few relationships and this has never happened to me before until now.

Want to know what else? I am half Hungarian. My dad's mother came from Hungary when she was 10-years old. :D


Before everyone thinks I'm Hungarian, I come from Boston Mass. I only live in Hungary because of the pretty girls, sunshine and friendly people.

Ed Almos