Assumptions you make about women based on dress sense

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I like my girls good looking and with no attention-whoring miniskirts, tight-ish jeans are hot

bah.

No, not talking women, just social interaction in general - that's the page Gwen, Sarah, and Pugly were more discussing. If you end up working with some real snobby social-elitists you'll learn real quick that even if your replies make sense, are on point, and aren't offensive or abrasive (seemingly) there's still a pre-formated way your supposed to broach out from topic to topic without disrupting the overall paradigm of the conversation - even if that conversation is jumping all over the place erratically.

As for the rest of that though - especially the last part, don't want to talk about it, firstly over privacy, secondly because what's going on with me is complex enough that I know the normal means won't do a thing for me (been there, gave it 'life or death of honor' concentration just like the rest of my social skills, and while some things I've been able to fix with a combination of conventional wisdom and blunt force willpower this hasn't been one of them to date).

As for breaking out and laughing to yourself later on about something, I stand by my original take - that's Norman Bates sh--.

It doesn't matter how hard you're bailing out a boat if you're using a sieve.

This is the problem - you've decided that you're creepy. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I'm forty and still dress like I'm about 12 years old. I wear jeans and jr tops with my Bobby Jack hoodie.

Cool!

I hate getting dressed. I never know what I'm portraying to others.

And there was me thinking I'd managed to kill this thread with my lack of reply....

Anyway, I went out last night. It was REALLY BLOODY COLD and I was standing outside the venue of the gig I was at in an old belted trench, white tights, (I can get away with stuff like that since I'm tall and skinny) and 6" platform courts. I was also wearing a scarf and gloves and shivering like mad.

Guy I've fancied literally for years gave me a huge hug and a kiss, (on the cheek) which made my evening... even if I did have to run for a train five minutes later.

I have pretty much decided I can work this stuff out for myself now.

NB. I should point out that I was wearing other clothes under my coat but nobody ever saw them it was too cold!!

Well, not OLD old, no. But a lot of these people smoke so they have REALLY wrinkly faces by that time. Women like that who wear uber-expensive clothes, while the younger goths aren't wearing clothes nearly as nice or expensive...yeah. It's compensation. lol.

I've never smoked and until this year I had never had a tan. Most people think I look about 33. There's times I feel much older though.....

Yeah, and that sounds great in theory. However, when your noverbals really don't work anything like other peoples, when you've had it shoved in your face that you were creepy all the time be people on first impression, and it happened so often that it became something like natural consequence - shutting off the subconscious knowledge of that and the threat of getting that reaction out of people (at least when you know your nervous system is going through a works-like-sh** period where your looking more autistic) its like a gun with a fleck of lint for a trigger, just breath the right way and it goes off. What I mean by that isn't that I can't get myself over or around it, it does mean however that I can't just take the balls-out "Hey, its all in my head! If I stop thinking about it this way it'll stop happening!" - being its as intertwined and carved as deep into my psyche as it has been that's pretty much setting myself up to fail, like taking on some huge goal by saying I'll just do it without breaking it down into bite-sized pieces. IMO, what I need to do, is to chizzle away at the cognitive issues and neurological problems that have me feeling like I'm less than alpha, stuff like that - my personality being what it is, tends to be stuff that I either can't let go of or at least at this time in my life am physically not ready to let go of. Maybe that last part could be the next step, maybe it won't be, I just know for sure that this isn't something I could fix over night and it may even take years just because there really are so many layers of complexity to how it works. Sure as hell not saying I won't do it, completely the contrary, just that I have to be really wise and careful how I approach it because my subconscious emotions are real quick to call bullsh** on anything that seems even remotely out of touch with reality, that said I need a way that won't trip that switch because if it does get tripped - its back to the drawing board and I have to only hope that I have other viable options left at that point, otherwise I really do just swallow the loss for the rest of my years or until my lower mind (hypothalamus/cerebellum) finally does just magically get what I've been trying to beat into it for years and years by some fluke.

I agree %100.

It isn't easy, I know from experience. I know exactly what you're going through. I just wanted you to know that you aren't creepy, and at the same time that it is entirely logical and expected that you would come to this false conclusion based on a lifetime of having this reflected back to you by the actions of others.

Please don't misunderstand me, I don't think this is just a matter of "think happy thoughts" or some other happy horsesh*t, the problem is exactly as you described.

In the meantime, try not to kick yourself for being autistic and for other people's misconceptions about you. They can bite your bag.

Nice thing about that last part, my last name is also that of a world famous tea company. So in essence millions of people around the globe already do start their day off by dunking my bag - very warm and fuzzy thought right there .

Way to give the world a teabagging!

Yeah, I should probably buy a few shares .

I make no assumptions based on what women wear and won't even notice anything unless it is completely bizarre. Even if I was told to analyze a woman based on her clothing, I would have no clue.