Calling all undamaged females... Anyone?

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Are there any undamaged females out there? Anyone at all?

In my quest to find a soul mate, I'm starting to feel very much like a vulture picking over corpses on a battle field... A battle I had nothing to do with, wanted nothing to do with, know nothing about...

In addition to that, I feel more than a bit like the guy who walks behind the elephant on parade with a broom, my job being to sweep up the poop of the creature who is at the center of the show, while my humble purpose goes entirely unnoticed, unappreciated.

In the course of my quest, I've found:

- A girl who was physically abused, and I for whatever reasons I remind her of that abuser.
- A girl who was manipulated, lied to, and discarded, and for whatever reasons I once reminded her of that person (not anymore, thankfully).
- A girl who was raped.
- A girl who has been cheated on and has had a series of bad relationships to the point where she no longer is interested in any relationship.

And in trying to approach these females with the possibility that I might be a good mate for them, I find all of this unexpected debris in my way, left by others who have come before me, humans who I resemble perhaps because I have two legs and two arms, or perhaps because I am a male... Or perhaps in ways beyond my understanding. In any case, I’m walking through a minefield without a map, and I tire of it.

And I know not what to think of things. But it is very disheartening; I'm very disheartened at the moment.

I do not look down on or think less of people who've been abused, mistreated, lied to, taken advantage of... Not at all. I could love them, quite easily. In fact, my ire lies very directly on the people who caused such damage.

Are there any women out there at all who can encourage me, give me faith in humans as a species, by telling me that you've not been mistreated, horribly abused? Please... I could use such encouragement right now; for as it stands, my faith in the human species is dwindling, and threatening to evaporate... I do not care if you are single and available or not. Right now, I just need to hear about someone, anyone, who doesn't have a horrible tale of woe at the center of her life. Are you out there? Anyone?

Good fortune,

- Icarus would kill them all if he could...

Sorry I don't know of any adult female who is as yet unscarred.
Sexual abuse alone of women is estimated at 1 in 3 by age of 21
That may be an under-estimate as the majority of this abuse goes unreported
Add the emotional abuse and physical violence and you are probably talking at least half the women in the world affected.

I sat here ages before sending post trying to think of a final positive statement to add but couldn't come up with one...

Thanks, alexbeetle, for saying anything at all; though I am saddened to hear that you are not an exception to this apparent rule of humanity, a rule which I am desperately seeking exceptions to.

If it matters, if it makes a difference to anyone reading this, helps them relate... I was horribly abused, physically, for most of my childhood; regularly beaten to within an inch of my life, bleeding, black and blue, barely able to move, for no reason that my young mind could comprehend, and for no reason that my semi-adult mind might excuse.

So, my plea for tales of something better comes not from one who has dwelt in an ivory tower going "Huh?", but in fact from one who lived for years with the horrors of abuse, and prays that someone somewhere has had something better.

Are humans really so universally horrible?

Good fortune,

- Icarus has many reasons for divorcing himself from humanity...

I was fortunate enough to escape the mistreatment you describe, Icarus, and hope to continue escaping it! If this puts me in the minority... well, that's just sad. Isn't there something in the Christian teachings along the lines of "What you do to the least of my brethren, you do to me"?

Earlier today I looked at the website linked in THIS THREAD, and am boggled at human beings' capacity for cruelty toward those perceived as inferior.

I have sustained a certain amount of psychic damage. Much of it self-inflicted.

With so many pricks in this world, how can anyone really expect someone to not go through something bad?

It's all about how you as a person handle it.

If you don't handle it or couldn't handle it on the spot, at the time then you are left dealing with it later mentally and as cruel as it may seem, you are the one left with yourself and that person that inflicted pain on you will never truely be sorry so it's up to you to handle what's left in your brain.

Icarus,
What about healed females - they have overcome any difficulties and having learned to nurture themselves also know how to nurture others. Plus, takes some serious spunk to get past some crap and not be embittered by it.

you're going to have to deal with it. Every human being has a scar of some kind, and a problem of some kind. Yes there may be some woman who have had much better than you. I can't possibly say that they don't carry something from the past with them either.

Last edited by LiendaBalla on 19 Dec 2007, 8:23 am, edited 4 times in total.

definately agree with this

"Healed females"? This concept is new to me; I have never known one. At least, not until now... perhaps? But, oh, how I love to learn, love to be educated... In all honesty, such females would seem like... goddesses... to me... I pray they are out there, somewhere.

"Alice"... Intriguing... If only you knew what meaning such a name holds for me.

Thank you, for giving me something new to consider. But... I must wonder. Are you a "healed female"? Or is this simply a concept you have learned of, perhaps experienced.

Good fortune,

- Icarus knows all about both Oz, and Wonderlands...

Everyone gets scared by someone. My sister will not let me play any girl charectors on Soleblade-II she also gets pissed withen I beet her with the same moves.

Icarus,
The world is full of healthy, healed, robust, spunky women. Trust me. I know plenty. Don't give up hope, just let them find you.
Alice

I use to think that the shorter were the more sane they were. Strange notion eh?

many adult women have baggage. A lot of them have had some abuse.
It isn't the fact that they were abuse, it is how the handle it and move on.
I've been abused, cheated on. blah blah blah.

And?

That was him, not you (or the present guy).

What you should maybe look for is a woman who although has had issues in her past, has learn to overcome them. That is a strong woman, that is a woman who, no matter what you throw at her, can handle it.

Undamaged women, will be damaged one day. And why would anyone want a woman who hasn't lived life?

Meow. <--- It's my way of saying right on.

Damaged people need love too.

Thats exactly what I was going to say. I mean, I have 'baggage', I think all my female friends do. We have jobs and lives and interests and we're getting on with it. You need a woman who is 'getting on with it'.