Are You in the Running?

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By being in the running, I mean you stand an honest chance that, when you ask a girl out on a date, she will accept. It seems to me that women (and let's face it: men) have categories in their mind that they place people in. Most relevant to this topic is one of dateability. Someone who is perceived as highly attractive or highly desirable would have high dateability. I think some people, though, have approximately zero dateability, so women reject them a priori. For example, if a person with zero dateability develops affections for a woman, his feelings are not considered legitimate because he is not "in the running" to begin with (in other words, others view his attraction to others as preposterous bordering on the delusional). Since he should have "known better" than to find himself attracted to something he is not supposed to take part in (i.e., dating and mating), any perception that he is making romantic overtures or even wants to is the basis for disgust and contempt.

I get the feeling that people think I should be grateful that I am "allowed" to go to work and have a job (which bores me) and live my day-to-day life relatively undisturbed. I should not "push my luck" by actively pursuing goals that I actually care about and instead be contented with the life course society has laid out for the loner geek; if I deviate from the life course intended for the loner geek, I will encounter all manner of problems with the only solution being to stick inside the life course of the loner geek.

Of course, I find the life course of the loner geek to be 100% dissatisfying in every way. I am actually interested in romance, sex, and having some friends to talk to and do things with.

I try to come across as positive, optimistic, funny, intelligent, and everything else that might make me attractive; but it doesn't seem to help. It is as if you weren't already in the running, you never will be no matter what you do. Women can somehow perceive this and thus ignore you entirely.

also being married, I'd have to explain the frying-pan-shaped dent in my haid if I did...

Only if the girl is gay. I'm not sure why I'd be asking girls out, though, I like men...

I am a mature and hard-working college student. I am very goal-oriented, and I never say anything hurtful about anyone. I have an excellent sense of humor as well.

If that isn't "in the running" material, I don't know what is.

Tim

I think most girls would say yes.
That doesn't mean anything though.
First look can be as deceiving as can be...

I think men and women have 'levels' and often won't date someone who isn't on or near their perceived level. Of course sometimes you might see a couple who you feel are mismatched in terms of looks, success, status, wealth, fame, personality e.t.c.

The very existence of the term 'punching above their weight' bears this out. Ever seen Shallow Hal?

I am in the running? When I'm not depressed and suicidal. That is when the pills work.

I have a friend who hates me. he is by his own definition a fat, loser, ugly, dumb, immature geek.

I underestimate how much he REALLY hates me. Till I piss him off for something minor and it all comes out. He thinks I'm lucky. I'm privilidged. He has no idea what my life has been like and no intrest in understanding my mental illness.

The differnce between him and me is I try.

I gain weight, often. I diet sternly to lose it. If I set a personal goal, save up money, build something, go somewhere I fight to stay on target. I shave bathe, wash my clothes that look good on me and shine my shoes, I take some care in my apperance. I do this out of respect for myself. I read, I learn everyday, at night my brain hurts from trying to understand new and interesting things. I am aware i have maturity issues and try to find ways to better them, work ing with kids for years didnt earn me much money but it taught me how to be an adult, Im not becoming a better actor but every week I go to class hoping to learn to be a better listener. And Finally Geek.

I'm may be a geek but I'm the best damn geek I know. You want to talk about Star Wars lets talk about the writing, design, production, and marketing. THEN you take that knowledge you quit being an armchair geek and you put it to use. I went to art school not because of Vincent Van Gogh but because of comic books and TV shows.

I am a producer not a consumer. 15 bucks spent on an action figure could be 15 dollars worth of sculpting clay.

And I'm not a one trick pony. You want to talk about classic literature? Fashions? Resturants? Animals? Travel?

You must have discipline. Use the geek role models literally. Study and Travel like Dr Who. Scuba dive and Parachute like Batman. Take fencing and yoga like Karate Kid.

But am I marketable?

No.

Because I have AS, and other health issues and theres no cure for that. But that doesnt mean you can't try. And who knows maybe you can fake it till your turn on earths over.

But the good thing is would you really want to go out with Jolie anyway? You think shes compatable with you? Think she plays video games or reads novels much?
Have you seen Dan inReal Life?
Its a nice love story. At one point a super sexy younger rich plastic surgeon who works on kids burn units and reads everything Dan writes tells him how lonely she is. A she dances like a snake. Incredible. But Dans in love with the crows feet oddball smiling woman his brother is seeing.
A lot of my guy friends are into fantasy women. They see them in the movies and TV and porno they watch. They also have ,not a one of them , ever been in a serious relationship. I started out rough. I see pictures of my first girlfriend and wonder what was I thinking. Then there was the good looking but single for a reason group, crazy chicks.
I remember being worried the first time a group of us guys went to a strip bar. The next day at work I was telling my supervisor something must be wrong with me because I was nervous going in but once there I was bored. I didnt KNOW these women . I told her I would rather see her naked ( shes married and a close friend) because I know her. (Even though shes full of flaws.)
Realistic women turn me on.
After a while a womans looks kinda dissapear anyway. Bruce Willis eventually left Demi Moore.Same stuff different night. We're all wired to want to get around as much as possible.

I don't drink top shelf fancy bourbon anyway. Just give me a shot of friendly ole Wild Turkey, make it a double, no chaser.

I was at a Sci fi converntion and the actress who starred in the Night of the living dead and played a psychic on Bablelon 5 remake was flirting with me. In my mind I thought "in some string of reality I say the right thing and I'll get to fool around with her, it happens with male B list celebrities all the time."
I didn't say the right thing. Besides she wouldnt have been my pick anyway . Batgirl though old enough to be my mother was bustier. Catwoman (Julie Newmar) was old enough to be my grand mother but damn she HAD CLASS! Lois lane, old enough to be Julie Newmars mother was the cutest little thing I'd ever met.
So . . . uh, you never know.
Man . . . Catwoman, think about the bragging rights on that affair!
I asked her how come she had so much class and women today dont and she said she took ballet classes.
AND she didnt sit down at the table she was sitting on a pillow on it!
Stars today don't have that kind of style.

"Are You in the Running?" yes. and suprisngly im always in first place!