AS Relationship Difficulties

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I'm in a relationship with a man who we suspect has AS. I definitely fit the description myself, took the Aspie Quiz and scored 162 AS. I suppose that sounds like it would work, but it isn't so simple. I'm curious about the difficulties other AS couples face. What do you find most challenging? Do you find it impossible to argue without meltdowns? How do you handle confrontation? How much time do you typically spend with each other? What is your level of communication and/or affection like? I know, all these questions I just want to see how others are getting on, and if anyone has any good advice.

I really shouldn't be saying anything considering my age and that I'm relatively new to all this as well but one thing I have noticed (exclusively through online interactions) is that when something's important to them, you can't just brush it off, even if they say it's alright. and that they always appreciate support from you when they're down. I noticed that with my bf, if he's had a hard day, he'll tell me about it and I'll basically tell him, screw the world and what they think, I'll always love you. and that helps, I think. srry if that didn't help...

What do I find most challenging? I would love to find another married couple to do stuff with but people don't seem to like my husband. I think they find his honesty a brutal challenge, rather than refreshing, as do I. We don't argue, at all- he just leaves if he senses an argument about to take place. That took some getting used to. So that is how we handle confrontation: discuss like adults, compromise, not argue (period).
We spend a lot of time together; we're the couple that goes out to eat with an armload of newpapers and spends time just reading together. We do talk, but silence is more than okay a lot of the time.
When he talks incessantly about his special interests I just let him talk. People think he doesn't talk, but when he gets going about something he is fascinated by, I just sort of...stop listening... we're both quite satisfied with the arrangement we have.

Do aspies lack self-control when arguing, or is this a non-AS trait? I think sometimes it's too easy to blame AS for every symptom, so I wanted to see if others are experiencing any of the things which we seem to be having difficulty with. I guess an example is unspoken "do not cross" lines in an argument. You know, certain things you just don't say to a person. Is it typical of AS to have no regard for these lines, no ability to filter? Or is this beyond an AS symptom?

One piece of advice I would like to give ANY woman with a man.

WE DO NOT PICK UP ON SUBLETY!

AS or not never be subtle and expect us to notice.

Yes, I know. I'm not good at subtleties (in either direction) anyhow. I'm a say what you mean, mean what you say type of gal.

I'm an Aspie, and KJ is a suspect Aspie. We often have the joke that we are not human and that we're androids LOL.

In many ways, it's great, because we have very open lines of communication, which is highly important. And since neither of us can play the 'games' that others can, we get a lot of problems sorted out. We don't screw around with each other. Also, who else could I spend all New Years Eve playing Halo with? We have very similar interests.

On the flipside, we both have severe social flaws. I'm not fond of socializing, but KJ was raised to think that he HAS to socialize and he isn't fond of it either, and this often leads to me getting agitated and frustrated towards the end of a night, most times sooner. We often have to leave early because I get distressed. Also, he's the absent-minded professor, and can't grasp punctuality. And since I'm always early or on time, this can lead to disagreements.

But we adore each other, to the point where we don't even have to talk anymore. Hell, he can be at home (half an hour away from my place) and we can still tell how the other is feeling and what the other is doing. Kinda freaky, but kinda romantic too.

We both have Asperger's Syndrome so it is incredibly tough at times. Some people think that he's coming off as a jerk when he really doesn't mean to give off that vibe.

wow where to begin?

one of the biggest problems we have is his lack of social cues. therefore, going out and hanging out with others has become a challenge. i can handle everything else but sometimes even i forget and am hurt or angry when he doesn't understand me, or better yet, genuinely doesn't care.

I don't know but unspoken rules are bad for me because I don't have a clue what they are. They've got to be spelt out very explicitly before they will have an impact and then I've got to agree that they are sensible, not stupid.