Being Bitter Not Going to Help you Get a Woman

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I've been reading a lot posts, and it seems a lot guys are coming off very bitter towards the opposit sex. It's understandble.

In my teens I went through enough hell in relationships to easily make me hate the opposit sex for the rest of my life.

But being bitter about it and saying "I'll never trust a woman" or that kind of mind-set is only going to keep you from finding someone or having a relationship. That bitterness shows itself and comes out.

Relationships and finding someone should be seen as a challenge. You can either accept it and take the challenge on, likely stumble along the way, or can just be bitter about it and throw up your hands and give up everytime you stumble.

How can men expect women to love them if they hate women?

Exactly

You don't think the bitterness shows. I've seen a few women who had been likely burned by men and that bitter "I hate Men" attitude came glaring out.

Frustration and bitterness are the emotions naturally felt after continued failure at achieving something important to a person.

Frustration and bitterness are the emotions naturally felt after continued failure at achieving something important to a person.

So that should be an exscuse to stay bitter. So a guy that had his legs blown off and has to be in a wheelchair should just stay bitter about it instead of moving on with his life and seeing it as a challenge, not a reason to stay bitter.

I know a Vet Nam vet like that. He was a star college football player, and lost his legs in the line of duty. But he's happiest guy I ever met, when could easily just be angry and bitter.

This is one hope I have, is I still maintain a fairly positive attitude about everything. In a way it's a curse since I never get frustrated enough to make drastic changes. But I'm not super down about rarely having a serious relationship.

My positive attitude comes off as a tad goofy though... I don't think goofiness can ever be sexy... darn. Can ladies prove me wrong about this...

Well my take is this: Talking about relationships and getting advice only helps a little. 90% of what you will learn is by going out and making mistakes, and hopefully learning from them. I think you really need to be patient too, more than NT people. I have yet to have a relationship I would say was very successful, but I am confident that in time I will find one. You attract what you put out. If you are lonely, resentful, etc. you will attract bad and it won't help you. You have to work on yourself and build yourself up to be the best person you can be, and present that to other people. This will attract good people. I guess if you can work on every area of your life that you can, and try to be as happy as possible and have some good people in your life, a relationship will just happen... you won't need to obsess over it. Over-thinking and obsessing is what AS people do best. If you can keep it simple and make yourself the best person you can and just try and talk to people, you should have some success (this is what people have told me, anyways).

And remember, there are people with worse problems than us. You think that it is tough getting a girlfriend when you have AS? Imagine if you were in a wheelchair, crippled, blind, etc. women would discriminate against you a lot more.

All you can do is try your best, noone says you have to be perfect. If it's meant to be, it will happen.

Good point Grant. The other quality to watch out for is being too needy. Bitter and needy, now that's a bad combination.

No Zee, was not talking about you. Refering to women I've seen in real life. lol

Glad to see some of you guys sharing a very realistic yet optimistic view. Dating and relationships should be seen like any other challenge.

When Steven King wrote his first novel Carrie, he sent it out to over twenty publishers, all rejecting him. They stated he'd never make it, and some rejections where worse. But he kept going until eventually someone accept his book, and now look where he is. He stated he kept all those rejection slips to remind himself how far he's gone and how he proved the so called "experts" wrong.

But would been real easy for Steven King to give up after the 10th or even 15th rejection. Throw up hands and go "All these publishers suck! I'll never be a successful author. I'm a loser!"

To tell the truth, almost any inadequacy shows on the surface in one way or another - either under stress or just in the minutia of how one presents themselves. Insecurity and bitterness are both big issues in that sense.

Bitterness is attractive if you're trying to date someone emo.

I was going to say just that. Figures it will turn into another bitter fest. This applies to both guys and girls.

HOWEVER!, bitterness bust have an evolutionary advantage or else bitterness of this nature would not exist. It would have died of with the dinosaurs.

I have not as yet attempted to analyses bitterness in detail to ascertain what situation bitterness would come in useful and what situation it would be useful.

If any geeks came up with a SCIENTIFIC explanation, let me now. Saying people become bitter to protect themselves from hart is not a scientific explanation.


Some say pitterness is like a destructive root. But before you think about this ,Reed this suckers! http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/anger.htm