People of the 40-ish age.........

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True, built a career .....and when we say a career we don't mean just the lucrative jobs like these 'jobs' which some WP users like flashbelly and juliekitty support (stripping) but a respectful prestigious long-term job which is beneficial to the society and not like.

Anyways, this post was only meant to tease these 2 users ...you are not my teasing-target here. Seriously, based on your many posts , I can assume (only assuming) that you can't be of that kind and that you are one of the most honest, reasonable scientific-oriented-thinking users here (even tho that some of your posts in thread show some messing-up in your mind ...oh but who doesn't ? )

Ahhh... that's not Sedaka...
Read her profile and some of her posts. I find her rather impressive...
in an "I'm not worthy" kind of way.

You're just going to have to look at this as one of life's lessons learned the hard way. You simply do not get emotionally involved with coworkers. When you walk into work tomorrow you switch the emotions off and that is it. You are there to work, not find a boyfriend. It is way too easy for Aspies to fall for someone they work with. It is a chance to slowly get to know someone because we can't move quickly like the NT's do. You sound exactly like the 20 somethings I dated. Always moping around because they don't have a husband and blah, blah, blah. That is such a huge turnoff and I know it is one of the reasons your obsession isn't interested. Real men like successful, confident and capable women. Predators and dumb-asses like mopey chicks. You get the person you deserve and right now it sounds like you're setting yourself up for the losers. It's time to can the mopey attitude and make something of yourself.

I've known of several couples who met and married in the workplace.

And, the sad truth is that you can actually end up spending more time interacting with your co-workers than with the people who really should matter to you.

x/2 + 7 = y

x = the age of the oldest partner
y = the youngest person they should consider forming a long-term relationship with.
(theres a reverse formula, but im too tired to figure it out right now )

fractions would help, but anyway.. 39/2 + 7 = 26.5

close enough

bla bla bla man you're off about how i am again.

i have some moments but i have a life tyvm.

i should say that the topic hasn't come up very often between us... like twice... and once was before we worked together.. and any moping i do DO... is on my own time at home alone and is usually after i misinterpret something he does either in a flirty way, or a "co-workerly repremand"... which we both always bounce back from... as i said, he know's i think i'm AS... and i think i have him convinced... so he's very patient at times.

but i do keep busy with work (usually 7 days per week) and play....... and as i've said multiple times over.....

i know something will change.

Well if you say so. Don't go looking for advice on an Aspie website if what you want to hear needs to be sugar coated. You seem like someone who has a lot to offer and I hope all works out for you.

I do not see anything wrong as long as you both like each other.

However 2 years and he's not even your BF (if I read this right)? Hmmm thats an issue.


I've never had a GF so I really can't give an opinion on personal experience. Heck I just turned 30 and I'd die if a girl as smart as you was into me. I'm Colombian not Argentinian though haha.. I don't do suave accent

But I did have the rather unfortunate experience of seeing someone I admired and respected very much go through a very long term relationship that went nowhere. She was very kind, smart and pretty and since high school she had been involved with a guy who was a few years older than her (I think he was 5 years older) so it was not an age gap issue...

but for EIGHT years after high school she was still his GF and he didn't seem to want to go any further than that. She clung to him out of some type of blind adoration and hope that when he 'was ready' he'd ask her to marry him. Then one day he told her he was moving away to persue his career and that he would come and visit her when he could, he still wanted her to be his GF.

Poor girl was devastated. Eight years and she really had meant nothing to him more than a good time. She was so hurt she went back to live with her parents in a different state, she couldn't handle being in the same city they had been together for so long.

I think that if someone is serious about you, you'd know about it in less than 6 months.

may I ask a stupid question? Is this guy married? My sense of reading between the lines (and it's never right... makes you sound like the 'other woman'. Hope I'm wrong.

yeah, there's a religion out there that says 'half your age plus seven' which made me wonder about really old people (I mean the graph would start to taper off as you get to the rest home years...

Another possibility is that he's already married...to Science. I dunno...

I'm about to turn 50, she just turned 37. Age difference is one thing that never came up as a problem. There were problems but the age difference never was an issue.

Was she looking for a father figure? Maybe, but I think men closer to her age just weren't able to deal with her issues. (She has just been told that she may have AS)

I don't know about others but I have dated a few women more than 10 years younger than myself and in only one case was the age difference ever an issue. I firmly believe it is the person/people not the age.

he's not married... but is in the first year of a demanding job... i know that's a lot of it in many ways.

i just feel a bit like penelope... not even necessarily sure why per se.

There are worse things in life, my friend! I may be a man of some perspective when it comes to age-gap relationships, because I'm currently dating a 19-year-old, yet have had a relationship with a 56-year-old just last year! Yet I was able to relate with each on an intimate level. But ya know, I think Asperger's plays a part in that ability... We're kind of "ageless", given that we're usually into things we're into "just because", and not because of the current fads, or what "people our age" "should" be into. I think age feels like a rather soft-n-blurry area, when as Aspie's literal mind reasons: "An adult is an adult. I'm an adult, and my love interest is an adult. So, no problem."

When dating the 56-year-old, I felt like maybe I was too comfortable with something I "shouldn't" have been comfortable with. But analyzing why, I didn't come up with any concrete reasons why it couldn't work out simply because of the age difference. We had known each other for several years beforehand, so that made it comfortable. I enjoyed the time I spent with her, just like my relationship with my same-age ex-wife, and just like with my current, younger girlfriend. Age didn't make my love any different or less. And, dating a much-younger woman is a brand new experience for me, but likewise I don't really feel "weird" about it. More, I feel like I "should" (by society's definitions) feel a little weird -- even though my parents had that same 10-year age gap! I guess it's just 19 & 29 seems more extreme than 30 & 40. But we'll become 30 & 40, so what's the diff?