What do men look for in a woman besides her looks?

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Same here.

Someone with similar world views. Easy to get along with. Intelligence is a plus. Strong willed but not mean spirited or petty. More than a little bit quirky. Would actually agree to go out with me. I could go on and on but generally there are ideals contrasted by things acceptable within the realm of being realistic and reasonable. So it is sort of about trying to balance the two, if that makes sense.

Everyone so far seems to have gotten the question wrong. The question wasn't what do you look for in a woman, but what men look for. This is ofcourse a very vague question and so it cannot be given an exact answear, but based on the observations I have made through my life, short as it may seem to some her, I would say that men first and foremost look for someone who is willing to let them be themselves.

Following the trend of this thread; what do I look for? I don't! Looking implies active search, and the love I would want to have will not show itself sooner if I were to spend my life looking for it. Like all emotions it will come when it wills, no point in trying to force it. I very much doubt that looks will play any role what so ever, but then again I am an innocent idealist .

I think that what most of us aspie guys look for is different from the majority however i'll give my opinion anyway
for one thing i want someone to be themselves I stopped crushing on a girl because she abandoned herself so she could be in the inner circle.
Also I want someone smart if i can't talk to them on a high level then why interact with them or commit to them long term
I am repulsed by mean girls too i mean if you can't be nice to most people (we all have our limits) then how do i know you'll be nice to me
There is probly more I just can't think of it right now

I can't really say what "men" look for in women since I don't really know, but I can put in my two cents at least. I don't really care much for the kinds of relationships that seem so common to others. For me, there can only really be one person. And I'm sure that I'll be able to tell who it is when I find her. The kind of fleeting fling between two wounded animals licking each others wounds doesn't really appeal to me. But I'm not in any kind of a rush. As such, let's roll out the list;

- Independentcy. This is very important for me. The kind of partner I desire must be fully capable of fending for herself. Confident and proud. A bit hard to define but a good opposite example would be the kind of person that insists on doing everything together.

- Passion. Too many people are such wet blankets trying to soak my fun. A person with burning interests and passions, that motivate her to go that extra mile. Few things are as fantastic as hearing a obviously passionate person serenade his/her interests.

- Humor. This cannot be fully stressed. A lot in my life revolves around my own rather special sense of humor so a partner that is able to take part in this is vital.

- Wisdom. I usually use the term wisdom instead of brains. Being smart in the sense of holding a great deal of knowledge is all good and well but the true measure of intelligence isn't something that can be tested in such a manner as dates and numbers. It's a deeper, clearer understanding of oneself and the world as large as well. It's an element without real form and therefore hard to fully define.

The list certainly goes on, but I don't care to continue. These are some of the traits that find that I would wish my partner would have. But in the end, the only thing that really matters is;

- Love.

Straying a bit from the original question to be sure, but I am a man after all, so it is at least a part of a answer at least, heh.

I can't answer for other men. Personally, I look for someone who can accept me and care for me. Someone who can appreciate me. Someone who has flaws, who's not afraid to be weak and accept support .

Hi all, first post.
To be completely honest, most men are attracted by looks first. Having said that:
1. Every single woman I have ended-up in a relationship with I was not physically attracted to immediately, rather I warmed to their looks as I got to know them.
2. Men tend to have very individual tastes. If you take decent care of yourself, I promise that there are plenty of guys out there who will find you attractive.

Looks aside, every single man I know is attracted to: sense of humor, creativity, and women who are easy to be with or share their interests.
A woman who is interested in sex is a hugely attractive to most heterosexual men

Welcome to WP!

Thanks Tim_Tex, I'm happy to be here

Some nice bonuses:

- lazy
- spoiled
- bitchy attitude

Someone who can disagree with me. I don't want to argue with my partner, but I like to feel that they can tell me when I've said something wrong, or they think I'm an idiot. I like a relationship with a constant witty exchange, keeps my mind buzzing. I've had a few relationships with people who just nodded and smiled and doted on whatever I said - slowly drove me mad!
Sadly it seems to be a fine balance to strike - all too easily breaks down into arguments.

1. Low drama - Does not manufacture it just for the fun of it when there's nothing else going on.
2. Can give me my space to be alone some of the time without freaking out about "us".
3. Shares my general world view. (For example, if I knew she was way into something like, tarot cards, I would be pretty turned off.) The closer here, the better, but of course, a 100% match isn't needed or even realistic.
4. Has some fun interests in her life.

It really depends on the guy. A lot of guys REALLY just want a big pair of t's or someone who does well with certain things.


For me, maybe just out of where my life and emotionality are coming from, if we're going to talk personality first that one's probably the hardest call - I'd say some definites are I'd need someone who's very socially reciprocal, someone who really tries to soak in her surroundings and understand other people, and of course the ultimate being how we interact as I've met all types and its strange how I've realize that I can't peg or eliminate much of anyone until I've really seen something out of them that showed me that they vibed negative with me. Of course the usuals apply - definitely don't want a thief, someone who's unreliable, someone who's 'settling' or not doing what suits her by being with me, someone who's a gossip or drama monger - I'd really want someone who's level headed, respectful of her guy, and is interested in learning about and respecting my interests just as she'd likely expect the same of me. It is a big plus in creating a spark though if she has a real sharp, clever, and aware presence about herself.

Dress, style, again I've had all types surprise me there. I like to see that she knows how to dress, takes a bit of pride in that, but I have to confess that it would be a plus if it was one of those things that I could tell that she'd looked at herself, seen what sort of visual archetypes she had about her, and really went with em (I've seen lots of girls who've done something kind of angular - sported something with sort of a retro 70's style or something else where old meets new but it definitely adds something when someone takes a certain sort of visual energy they have about them and runs with it).

On another note though with nonverbals, while I do find real smooth and guiled up body language and style very attractive I also like novelty a lot as well. Maybe because they remind me of myself, not sure, but I am also attracted to a lot of women who do have very frail body language - not that I get any sort of impression that its a sweeping reality of who they are, but especially when they seem semi-shy at most if not pretty strong in themselves I get the feeling that I'm talking to or looking at someone who's fighting with the same parameters of their own mind and body that I am - so I guess in the end that's an attraction of fundamental likeness.

I like an intelligent woman, one that's smarter than I am is a HUGE turn on for me!

More than anything else, strong morals. I would only ever date a girl who despised the concept of cheating, who didn't indulge in casual meaningless sex, who generally conducts themselves with a dignity and class that I don't see in many people. In short, someone with the same morals on relationships as me.

I want a girl that will make me laugh.

She should also be receptive.... she should give everyone that aproaches her (male or female) a chance to become friends... and perhaps more than friends.

I think that part is nice to any person but even nicer to a woman (will make her a good mother... my mother was the opposite of that)

She should also have liberal attitudes towards sex. What do I mean?

Most girls would say:That if their boyfriend cheats that gives the the right (or should I say OBLIGATION?) to cheat back.

Thats perfectly fine. As long as they remind themselves to add up a funny, receptive , exeption.

Such as...?

Well that they are eagar to forgive him if the woman that he cheated them on happens to be HIS BOSSES WIFE.

In biology organisms tha diversify are chosen and procreate ....

I believe that any man (autistic or not) would notice and apriciate a girl that does the extra mile to diversify from the dominant Cosmostyle Jew/Protestand propaganda.....