Aspie Love Stories
Michaela115
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 30 Jul 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 52
Location: Surrey, England
Hey! Haven't posted here in a while!
Well, I used to feel the same as you did, I know how you feel.
I had loads of crushes but every one of them...I never got with. My mum would say someone will come along one day, and I was starting to give up hope. One day I went to Thorpe Park with some work friends (I work there) and when we were queueing for one ride, I got chatting to this guy who worked there, called Rob, but on different rides to me. He saw my name on my staff ID and asked if I was Michaela off SouthParks (which is a theme park discussion board), and I said yes, and he said that he's on there too etc. We were talking about that mainly, we didn't talk for too long as he had to let us on the ride. I liked him, but didn't think I'd have a chance, I thought "Someone as good-looking as him can't be single, and he's not in my area so that doesn't help."
We saw each other three days later at a work social event. He came over and said hi out the front, and we saw each other later on during the night, by which time we were both quite drunk! Now here's the only part I don't like in some ways...he offered for me to stay at his as I'd missed the last train, and if I hadn't been so drunk then I may have said no, or said yes, but what happened probably wouldn't have happened. Basically...well we slept in the same bed. We didn't do "it" but things happened. Although I was drunk, it wasn't him taking advantage of me, it was me acting differently cos of the drink. Although I wasn't completely out of it, I still had awareness of what was going on, etc. Now I sort of wish it hadn't happened, we didn't even know each other and next minute...that happens! However, we gave each other our numbers, went on dates etc, and we are still happily together now. So even though the way we got together was really random and definitely not the way I'd ever imagined a relationship starting...it turned out nice If I hadn't gone to the social event we probably wouldn't have got together.
Now, I am living up with him near to work, with someone else who works at the park. I haven't fully left home yet, like I still have stuff there and go back often. We're going to see how it goes, but so far it's been really nice.
He is really sweet and affectionate, for my 18th he took me up to London, where we ate at Planet Hollywood, saw Phantom of the Opera, which was great, and stayed in a hotel for the night. And my mum secretly booked a stretch limo to take us up there! I still can't believe he did that for me, how many 19 year old guys do that these days? I feel so lucky And the other day when we were in our room together, he sent me a text saying "i wove you", awwwww! He isn't AS like me, however he is a big ride/theme park geek like me, they are what he mainly talks about, and he's said a few times he finds it hard chatting to people!
Here is one of the pics from my birthday: http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v192/226/5/792210390/n792210390_2338050_6217.jpg
MsBehaviour
Deinonychus
Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 341
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
I have been happily married to my Aspie husband for 8 years and friends say we have one of the best and most stable marriages they know. We got to know each other through an online community and have a great life together in New Zealand.
i love make stories when i was a child in a little notebook.the mostly were based on fantasties based on tb shows (what you would call now fan ficts). i imagined myself as buck rogers or as someone else from a cartoon series and wrote stories about that..
later i liked history and still do , that was closest form to storytelling and listen ofc to people telling old stories
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sorry for been rude sometimes or emotionless or hurting feelings ; i got as for something
Mikomi
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 753
Location: On top of your TV, lookin' at you funny.
Welcome to the site
I'm an aspie and my husband is on the spectrum as well. We didn't know until we had children! Something drew us to each other, we just "got" each other. Now we know why. We got engaged within a month of knowing each other (yes, seriously, lol), married a few months later and we've now been married 7 years and we have two children.
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Curiosity is not a mental illness.
Homeschooling Aspie mom of 2 kiddos on the Spectrum.
Liverbird
Supporting Member
Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,119
Location: My heart belongs to Anfield
I was miserable trying to make myself act like other people and trying to fit in. I tried really hard (confirmed by my mother last night in a phone conversation), but it wasn't who I was and my attempts always fell flat. It's much easier to understand one of my quirks when I say that it's part of the AS and that's who I am. It's a huge part of who and what I am and why I am the way that I am. I can't just dismiss it.
How long did you try? It took me YEARS to change my pesonality. My personality did eventually change. Unfortunately I had a lot of other factors which hindered me.
Let's see, I was around 35 when I figured out that it wasn't worth being miserable over not being like everyone else. Is 35 years long enough for you or should I have waited a few years longer just to make sure?
_________________
"All those things that you taught me to fear
I've got them in my garden now
And you're not welcome here" ---Poe
My partner is a non-Aspie (she HATES being called an NT-- "what is typical and who wants to be it?") But she has always been very understanding of my quirks and traits. She will help explain things to me when I "just don't get it"-- especially in social situations when I miss a cue or when someone is being sarcastic (I do not get sarcasm). But she has a sense of humor about it too. When I slip into Aspieland sometimes she teases me a little to snap me out of it... but I let her, because I know it's done in love and I love her too.
I met my boyfriend on this site on 6th January this year and we started dating on 6th April so we have been dating for 1 month so far. Between that time we exchanged random banter whichwas an eclectic mix of music, compliments, sadness and happiness. Our humour and personality matches perfectly and we couldn't be happier now
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Controversy begins only where acceptance ends.
If I was younger, I have a feeling I could have defeated this and become a normal functioning person. Too late for me now.
People on this site are going to frown on this advice but I feel strongly about it. In a nutshell.
DO NOT ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE. It is natural instinct to do this. Look at reality. You are NOT normal. At your age, I knew I was different but didn't know why. I went through the next 16 years of my life accepting who I was but was an outcast. I was miserable the whole 16 years. No friends, no steady employment (I am on disability now). Understand that you need to change. Observe how other people act socially and at work. At first, it will not feel natural to act like others, but eventually you can become like them. Understand that if you do accept the way you are, a majority of people find you strange and be uncomfortable around you.
Why should you have to constantly abuse yourself by allowing yourself to be mixed in with ignorant people? i for one would not like to be stared at or found "strange" or make anyone feel uncomfortable. just because your life is misreble doesn't mean that everyone with AS is. My husband is happy with his life and he didn't know that there was something wrong with him until about a year ago. im sorry that you feel AS ruined your life, but we all make decisions and most people with AS chose to be happy.
i have known this one girl for about 4 years now, we met in community college in a ceramics class, we are now like good friends, we banter back and forth with great ease and i can relax around her, despite my Aspergers. I feel like i might care for her as more then a good friend though, but she doesn't feel the same, she acknowledges my feelings, but admits she doesn't feel them back. She is lagging behind i think from the social standpoint, she is stuck at the boy/girl relationship stage of middle school, i feel like she could be the best thing to happen to me if i wait for her, but i don't want to risk her choosing someone else and feel that pain of waiting all that time for nothing...my fellow aspies, what should i do?
I have AS and my husband has traits. He has six other conditions. We met on a forum and we chatted on AIM for three weeks before we met in real life. We met on my 22nd birthday. He kept seeing me every weekend on his days off and he take me to work. I had a restricted routine then and he had to work his way in it by letting me do my routine and we always watched B&J together and we used to go out all the time. Then we got an apartment together and we didn't go out as much because I had more bills to pay. Then we married last summer. We both make a great couple and he can relate to me. He also doesn't understand relationships and people but he understands them better than me and he keeps me grounded. He thinks the reason why we get along and make a great couple is because he used to be a lot like me so he can relate and understand. I'm lucky to have found the right man. We have a atypical relationship. No other man would be happy with me or accept me or like who I am unless they were accepting of me and flexible.
I'm 17 and i am still in love with someone who i consider to be the most beautiful woman I have ever met. 3 years ago I met that one girl from my high school. Extremely beautiful and popular, i was attracted to her sexually but i didn't want to express those felings to her. the year prior i was trying to overcome scars i endured during middle school and the summer before i entered h.s. i was officially diagnosed with A.S. As the years passed i've grown to see this girl more than some gorgeous manikin, and i greatly admired her inner strength. on her junior year while i was a sophomore she dropped out and i never felt so terrible in my life. several months later unto novermber or october, i saw her again and i had a chance to express my feelings but my indecision cut me short.
later throughout the day i realized i loved her and i wanted to tell her, but as i gazed on the other side of the street I saw her get into the car of another guy. whom i later found that day to be her boyfriend. I felt so depressed but i decided to transform myself. From that moment i decied to become stronger for her sake and to never give up my love for her. The months had their ups and downs but my love for her inspiried me to create my own dreams, goals, i became more self-aware about my own identity, and i had a new life motto,"It's better to live a day as a lion, than a century as a maggot." I am the lion who lives in his own reality and lives in the present and believes in the future and will keep my unflinching love. My love for this woman has inspired me to go beyond any boundaries i have, and always prespect hers.
Even though i love her, i cant get in the way of her own dreams and future, and relationships. To this day she is still in a relationship with that guy but i dont care. i'll wait for however long as possible
IMO, it's ok to change some things about yourself to make others more comfy around you...I mean, if you yearn for companionship but freak others out I understand making some changes so you can make some friends. But I disagree that you should just not accept who you are, or think something is wrong with you. I mean, what is normal anyway? Besides, some are happy being alone. (Though I suspect you, the OP, are not since you are wanting to hear love stories for encouragement.)
Anyways, back to the original topic. I haven't been in a ton of relationships, but I've had a few. The last one I was in was with a guy that I'm pretty sure was Aspie as well, though I didn't know enough of it at the time to tell him. I miss him sometimes, but we had reasons for splitting up so I don't bother contacting him. I met my first boyfriend at 14, I am 19 now. I'm been single for a little over a year now. After I had my first relationship, I have to admit I was quite relieved to be single (for a good while, anyway).
Well - I sort of remember 16. I was too messed up even to be concerned about loving / being loved - long story. I think that was the year I met in class a girl who might have been a person of interest if we had not moved - she was not one o the ones I eye-stalked, just very easy to be with. But we moved. A couple persons of interest later I mismarried. BIG advice - no matter how desperate, if you can help it do NOT go past the safety zone with anyone of whom you are not ABSOLUTELY sure. It was a long exhaustion - not a disaster, but not good. I met a person - my first true compatible spectrum person, freaslized it IS possible to be comnfortable and understood. That was not then available, but then I met a REALLY compatible REALLY complementary spectrum person, over 20 years back, all good, a very interesting spectrum son. It is a real joy to sit in chair A working my stuff while she sits in chair B wofrking hers; we push each other and hold one another back just about right.
MAIN THING: waiting can be hard, but it is worth it. The timke will come.
I was very unsuccessful with girls for the first few years - just couldn't work out what the conventions were. But I pulled out of the tailspin eventually, and have somehow found enough girlfriends to keep me from being partnerless ever since. You slowly pick up experiences that help you to be more eligible.
On the other hand, be careful what you wish for. Before I'd solved the problem of being partnerless, I thought all my troubles would be over if I could just get a girlfriend. What I found was that, on completing that task, my troubles were only just beginning.
So I don't have any heart-warming love stories.......mostly they're tragedies, and my memory of them is mostly negative. But I don't doubt that my partners cared about me. It was usually me who pulled the plug.
Oh, I know the time will come for me. I know it will be worth it in the end. Very much looking forward to seeing who that person will be.
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Scott
"The Jazz of Life - the only way to live life"
Dx'd with AS and AD/HD Combined in 2007
Interests: Music, great outdoors (beach/mountains), cooking/baking, philosophy, arts/sciences, reading, writing, sports, spirituality, Green, sus
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