Asexual Aspies

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While my mind has taken up permenant residence in the gutter, and i enjoy contemplating the cute aspects of many sexual situations i am for the most part without a sex drive. Although being an XXY male probably contributes to that.

Do you people get crushes?

I have developed a crush on one of my classmates. I want to kiss her and hold her hand and feel her skin. Yet the thought of doing anything sexual with her repulses me. On the other hand, I don't want to touch her, because I perceive her to be very "pure", and I feel as if I would ruin that by touching her.

One thing I have also noticed is that there is a lot of fiction with sex in it on the Internet. I like to read fanfiction, preferably long stories, but unfortunately a lot of those stories seem to center around sex. I have to admit that reading about (graphic) sex turns me on, but I do not like the feeling. I wish there were more long stories that had people in a relationship where sex isn't that important.

I have a sex drive, not a very noticable one (pretty much if it came between boobies and B&N I'd chose the bookstore). I have no interest in doing sexual things with other people. I am disgusted by the sensations associated with masterbating... So while the drive is there, the driver isn't....

I have a very low sex drive at the moment; last time I kissed someone was like 2 years ago. Seen/met lot's of beautiful women since then, but I never got a vibe.

Don't think I've turned asexual though. I could be with a woman someday, but now I guess I'm just not up for it.

Hmmm, I feel that this opinion is coming from some one whom is rather sexually active, yes? Well, I find that as amusing as somone who is straight making various comments about homosexuality. Citing that it is choice or similar. While you are free to have your own mind about the topic, I'm not sure that your opinion holds that much weight. Don't get me mistaken, thank you for expressing yourself. At least I know what those sexually active people think of my lifestyle (and it also explains their relentless attempts to bed me).

There are several "perks" involved with sex (as far as my understanding goes) and I shall catorgorise them. If you have read many of my posts you'll find I do this often. I don't wish to patronise anyone, it just helps me gather my thoughts.

(+) PHYSICAL CONTACT:
Err. No thanks. I'm not adverse to to touch, it just means nothing to me. Many people find this hard to believe, but I assure you it is true. I've gone as far as damaging the catlage in my knee because I simply wasn't aware of the severe burning sensation that was present. The the astute people who query how I knew it was present a friend was massaging my leg and noticed the billowing heat eminating from my knee. After much nagging I went to see a doctor. Thus the "good touch" that many people crave is enirely absent in my bio-chemistry.

(+) EMOTIONAL UNITY:
I believe that the term is at least mildy apt. All I know is that people have some emotional... thing when it comes to sex. I do not. The spread of emotions I tend to experience is frustration, more frustration and if it persists anger. Even this is rare. Yes I can feel 'content' and the like, but contentment isn't worth the effort involved with sex. As far as loving the other is concerned I must emphasise that love and sex are often seperate. More over, personally, I can't seem to experience the abstract notion of 'love', and honestly, there are times when I'm thankful for that.

(+) BIO CHEMISTRY:
Hormones, endorphines and the 'rush'. No a thousand times. I can almost promise that my testosterone (and estrogen for that matter) levels are minscule. Anyone whom has met me is quite aware that I am far from a 'macho man'. Further, if I do have a significant amout of hormones, I have learned to ignore them utterly. Another thing I am thankful for. I've seen what people acting on hormones do... and no thanks.

(?) THE ACT ITSELF:
It's sweaty and gooie. Neither of these things are, in my mind, plesant. If I want to physically tire myself there's plenty of other things to do. Excercise, chores or voulinteer work. These other acts can also be far more selfless.

(0) PLEASING YOUR PARTNER:
While I am trying to list the personal advantages of sex, I feel this requires a mention. This is possibly the only time I'd be interested it having sex. As a service rendered to my partner. In my percetion of a relationship people often do things for one another, provided it's not too inconvineiant. Cook, clean, transportation, conversation, sex, shopping or other activities. True, I'd usually end up doing the affore mentioned acts, but none the less I am conscience that others like sex. I am also aware that others are not that interested in talking about the weird topics that I oft converse about. It's give and take, just in very different areas.

(-) HEALTH ISSUES:
Fact, sex is dangerous. I'm am thouroughly aware that there are precations that can be taken for dieases and the like, but the issue is further reaching than just mere infections. People obsess, injuries occour, things break. It's like running with sissors (not the Weird Al album, although is is as humorus).

(-) TIME:
I have things to do, not people. Time spent "porking", is time spent away from the city of Rivertide.


I could continue but I doubt that anyone could remain interested for much longer. Ultimately sex just lacks appeal. Relationships just lack appeal. True, I haven't had many partners and it's not from lack of being able to get them (pardon my arrogance) but I'm not even interested in realationships. I would only want to be in a relationship with someone I trusted and cared about. A relationship often ends, and when it does it rarely strengthens the friendship and hurts those involved and I simply don't want to hurt anyone I care about.
Essentailly what I'm trying to say is that I don't find relationships worth the risk, let alone sexual relationships. Particularly when there is so little to gain and a whole lot to lose. I've never been physically attracted to anyone anyway. Some people metally intrigue me, but sex isn't often a mentally stimulating experience.

For Example;

The two lovers lay on the beach front taking refuse in the forgiving cradle of a natural cave. Their bodies a malstrom of movement just as the storm and ocean outside the dimly lit cavern. He pressed her head against his chest. She felt his heart and his rythem as he lent down, licked her ear and spoke in a deep resonating voice
"Can a person ever truly be free?"
"That depends on the definition of freedom."


Does this count me as asexual? I simply don't know. What I do know is that I just don't care.


Quoth

I consider myself asexual. I cannot even bear french (tounge) kissing. I have no sexual desire and I simply don't like a lot of the physical sensations as well.

*waves* I actually found this site through a discussion at AVEN, the asexual visibility and education network. We were discussing how many asexuals had asperger's...

Some of you may want to take a look around that site, it certainly has helped me a lot since I joined back in January. And I would like to point out that a lot of you are talking about sex drive-- asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not drive. They're two different things, which is explained further on the site. link!

Though the absence of a sexual drive means an absence of sexual attraction, so it would still fall under asexuality. For the record, I was linked here from AVEN too.

I'm asexual. I don't understand why people fail to understand asexuality, probably something to do with how sex dominates your average modern mentality. Likewise, I don't understand sexuals. Not having experienced sexual urges, I can't claim to know for sure they exist. However, I trust they do. It's just a shame people like happeh can't trust us when we say we're asexual.

I've never looked at a passer by and thought 'corr, she got nice titties. Perky.', nor have I ever looked at someone and had a consequent erection. Sexual feelings just do not come into play at all, and it annoys me when peopel question this fact. However, I can be attracted to people in a non-sexual way still. I do like the way some females (and one cross-dressing male guitarist from a japanese band ) look, whether it's through thinking 'woah, thats pretty...' or recognising some kind of character within the appearance, be it purity, mystique etc.

Now onto the normal condemnations sexuals tend to make... My hormones are ok, body hair is growing as it should, my voice is breaking and I reek to high heaven, so thats enough proof of that. I have not been sexualy abused in the past, unless my cat dancing on my belly counts as traumatising sexual molestation and if you think that is, you need to get out more. I'm not a closet homosexual, in fact I don't hold even a normal aesthetic attraction towards males (with the one exception who looks very much like a female. Damn Mana...) so that accusation commonly made at asexuals falls flat. I am not too ugly to 'get some' either; while I am one ugly bastard, girls in my area are easier than a 2 piece puzzle. Also, I'm not attention whoring, trying to rebel by claiming to be different. If I did, I'd probably dress up like a goth (I'd like to but I'm not rebellious ENOUGH), be a hate edge instead of straight edge and act like a dick towards others. I haven't found the right person yet? Well, if porn with the kind of people I find aesthetically attractive doesn't cut it, then why would some random person? I don't want to 'pork' anyone, not even Mrs. Right. 'You just ain't been out with me yet'? With good reason you arrogant loser. Consequently, you can see none of the normal accusations apply to me. There are so many misconceptions about asexuality that do not ring true, and posts like Happehs only make things worse. You can probably tell I'm majorly riled up.


Anyways... I realised the day when I turned 16 that I was asexual. I thought 'wait.. I can do it legally, yet I don't want to. There's 14 year olds everywhere copping off with each other, yet I've never kissed or felt the urge to kiss someone or go out on a date with them', then recognised that as odd. At the time I had no idea that asexuality was comparitavely common among aspies, but it just strengthens my beliefs about my sexuality further. I've got a friend who keeps tellng me that any day now I'll be humping table legs. Not likely. That same friend recently got booted out of his house, dumped and his possessions sold because he let his dick think instead of his head. I just pray my friend is wrong.

My sex drive is relatively strong, especially as of late. Right NOW, I don't have much of one, but it has become a habit to... you know.... by myself in my room. It isn't unique for Aspies to make love to themselves, and to imagine intercourse, because we hardly do get much physically contact in the first place. I don't, anyway.

Me! I consider myself Asexual, and suspect that I might be an Aspie...

Perhaps I could offer a different perspective -

Throughout my life I was always 'normal' - i.e, non AS. I had a really healthy sex drive and loved physical contact, had several cool relationships.

Slowly, as the symptoms of AS became more prominant, I went off the idea of sex. I started reading Eastern philosophy and religion instead which discourages sensory pleasures. The philosopies became way more appealing.

Now I am single and it's interesting to have experienced both ends of the spectrum. I can't help it but I don't consider sexual attraction at all when I'm talking to people. It's a shame sometimes because I will be fascinated, looking at a nice guy and I'm just thinking, 'what a fascinating person' and he looks back and immediately he is thinking 'she's looking at me!'. All I can do is smile in a friendly way - it must be confusing for the normal person.

I think that asexual tendencies are actually more normal, and that sexuality is vastly over-exaggerated by the rest of society. Think of those deformed models with humongous breast implants. It's almost cartoonish, completely absurd by historical standards. When you compare the nudity in classical art to most modern contexts of nudity, it just makes you wonder how much more unnatural our ideas will become.

I an just really confused.

Sometimes I feel hetrosexual
Sometimes I feel homosexual
Sometimes I feel bisexual
Sometimes I feel asexual

I would say I have a moderate to high sex drive, but until recently I did not desire being in a romantic relationship or wanted to get sex, that would have made me asexual.

Although in recent years my sex drive is not what is used to be, that is probably because I am no longer a teenager or that have been plenty of other things in my life which are distracting me from sex. I suspect the later, because I still think about sex quite a lot and until recently given the chance I would choose the sex shop over a book shop, but I am getting tired of pornography and only be visiting sex shops to get stuff to help in any sexual relationships I get myself into in my life. I know now I am a fairly normal straight male and not certainly asexual.

A males sexual peak is supposed to be 18, and a womans like 30

I go though periods of asexual, and periods of hyper sexual, there seems to be no middle ground for me. I don't know why. It has caused problems in some relationsships honestly, because the "on again, off again" thing isn't good for some poeple.

I'm asexual.

Asexuality has absolutely nothing to do with sex drive. It has to do with sexual attraction.

Asexuals are not attracted to either gender. Some asexuals, such as me, have high sex drives... I just am not sexually attracted to either gender. Some asexuals have no sex drive. Some are in the middle. It has nothing to do with sex drive, but attraction to gender.