Need some advice...

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So Ive been reading the forums on this site for awhile now, but have never had a reason to post until now. When I was a little kid, I was diagnosed with autism spectrum not otherwise specified, or something like that. Now that Im older (college student) I think I probably have AS. In short, I am smart but have poor social skills. Ive been wondering whether I should get an official diagnosis of AS, but thats a discussion for another forum and another time.

Anyway, so my problem is that (predictably) theres this girl. I had a class with her last semester, but didnt really notice her until close to the end of the year. She would always sit by herself, in the back of the room, and I always tried to get myself to go sit next to her or talk to her after class, but never could. I dont have a class with her this semester, but I see her around campus every so often. She is almost always by herself, never with friends or anyone else. Sometimes I see her at lunch, usually at a table by herself. One evening I saw her sitting alone in a lounge on campus, working on a crossword puzzle or something, on a saturday night when most girls were probably out with their friends/boyfriends.

She is very pretty, which is why it always surprises me that she is not with other people. In my experience, girls as pretty as her are usually very popular and surrounded by friends. She is probably at least somewhat out of my league, but it is hard to say how much, since I dont have an accurate measure of how good looking I am.

I have never been able to convince myself to go up and talk to her, I dont even know her name, or anything about her. I guess the reason I am so interested in her, is just that we are both shy, and so have something in common, and if she also has poor social skills, even AS or something, she will have a harder time finding another guy better looking than me. Most hot girls, once getting to know me a little bit, would probably not date me. They would find it weird that I dont have 1000 friends on facebook, and would not like how awkward I am in social situations. I also prefer to hang out by myself or in small groups, not with large groups of friends, and she is clearly the same way, and would not pressure me to hang out with a large group of her friends, like other "normal" girls might.

So I was just wondering, if I see her eating lunch by herself, or sitting around by herself in a lounge or something, would it be socially acceptable for me to sit down with her, or ask if I can sit and talk with her? I have noticed that NTs dont usually just go sit with or talk to a complete stranger with out a reason, or some sort of excuse to talk to her.

Do I need to find an excuse to go up and talk to her, like "Do you have the time" or "could you tell me how to get to building 50", or can I just walk up and say "hi"? Would she find it odd since I am a complete stranger, and where would I take the conversation? I guess part of me hopes that she also has poor social skills and won't realize (or care) that what I just did was against social norms.

I know I blew it last semester. I had a class with her, saw her every day, and had plenty of excuses, like "do you know when the next assignment is due" or "doesnt this class suck" or whatever. Now I dont see her as often, and dont have any excuses to talk to her.

Suggestions?

She's probably noticed you a lot of times as well, so it should be a lot less weird to say hi. You should do it the next time you see her.

Also, I don't think that what league she is in relative to you has too much to do with your looks, assuming that the way you dress is acceptable. It has so much more to do with your self-centerdness, your stature among other males, and your past successes/convincing potential.

Be honest. Just go up and tell her.

If she is doing a puzzle use that as an ice breaker. "What kind of puzzle is that?" Or "I used to hate crosswords, until I learned to spell."

If you are shy then that's ok. Just talking to her is half the battle.

Maybe you could try telling her that you are shy. I really don't know.

I do know she might have a boyfriend. A lot of taken girls sit alone.

That's about all I have seeing as I am in just as bad a situation myself.

I'm a female, so maybe this is to weird for guys. But a few times when I wanted to meet someone I would write them a letter explaining a bit about myself and my shyness and why I was interested in them. I would just hand it to them when they were alone(and then run away). Sometimes they would call and sometimes not....(probably passed it around to their friends to laugh at but I was aware of this...would have happened even if I had the nerve to go talk to them and I didn't put in anything that was to personal). It would mean that I might have to talk to them on the phone to set up a time to go out but now a days you can just give them your website or email to get to know them better before going out.

Well, Mr. Rocket, I think I have just the answer for you. It's easy to remember, honest, complimentary, and has won me most of my friends.

Just go up to her when it's really noticeable that she's alone while everyone else is hanging out with other crowds (Friday night like you said, or something,) and just ask why an attractive girl like her isnt out enjoying themselves like everyone else.

2 things could happen. One, she'll say "Like what?" and then you just have to have a suggestion like a movie or some other event up your sleeve.

Two, she'll say something along the lines of "not tonight, I'm busy." She either is, or just isnt interested. Then, you say, "Okay. But if you ever want to do something, you know who to call." And if she doesnt know your name, remember to say "My name's [Rocketman]."

If she's honestly busy, then the ball will be in her court, she'll know your interested, and nothing awkward should happen. You'll have your foot in the door, and if you guys frequent the same spots like it seems you do, she'll have plenty of opportunities to make her move. Or wait a week and rinse and repeat.

Worst Case Scenario:
She's shy, you know that, so she's not going to say something clever like "Over my dead body, freak." Her answer will be short and sweet, and probably not strong enough to shut the door for future attempts.

More likely Scenario:
If you're just honest and friendly, the two of you will enjoy movie/dinner/social gathering. Learn as much as you can about her without being pushy; you'll need the info for Phase II.


Notes:
-Never mention AS. Not a 1st-8th meeting sorta thing methinks.
-Don't think of it as a date, or approach it with anything more seriousness than you would alot to any regular friend. Stronger vibes rub off on people, so focus on exploring her personality and just trying to get a friend. Personal image and broader social skills arent important on the level of friends.
-Be confident.
-Be humble, girls can ALWAYS get hotter guys. and listen to what she has to say sincerely.


Reason I think this is the best approach:
Little did I suspect, girls can see through the "oh isn't that an interesting puzzle/lunch/mundane subject." In fact, some have been trained since birth to identify those people as creeps and whip out the pepperspray. (A note about pepperspray: back up out of range, but don't run away. Some girls can be picked up on the rebound with confidence ^^)(But that's a whole nother boss strat.)

Payment:
Please give feedback. I've only used this to get friendly acquaintances in highschool, but I'm pretty confident the strategy has universal application.