do you want to be in a relationship?

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yeppers!

I enjoy being in a relationship and I think I'm pretty good at it. Relationships have never been hard for me. The hard part is meeting people.

Not now or in the forseeable future.




Yes.




God yes.

I'll say this about relationships. For me, and therefore perhaps for aspies in general, honesty is really the only workable policy. To the extent that I was responsible for the horror of my longest relationship, it was because I was dishonest. I said whatever had to be said, promised whatever had to be promised, pretended to be whoever and whatever appeared necessary to woo and then keep the woman in question. Motivated by a desire to be in a relationship at all costs, against all reason, to the bitter end. Finally, she broke up with me, allowing me to admit to myself how miserable I'd been. Though I blame much of my misery on her, I must admit I enabled it by sustaining the thing. Honesty, true honesty that aspies know all too well, is one of the most fatal things to most relationships. It can cause one to not even get a date for a lifetime, let alone be in a relationship. If you doubt this, consider the typical scenario of a woman asking her significant other if she looks fat in a given dress. He is supposed to say she does not or suffer. My typical response, mostly given to women I was not with when they ask me this question, is, "Relative to what?" This has the advantage of forcing them to think about what they are saying while also not supplying an answer one way or the other. Yet, they still become angry at this answer just because a no is delayed. Think about that. Not only is she demanding dishonesty from you at metaphorical gunpoint, she's angry you're not being quick about it!

-Frank

I think I've been through (and partly sustained) something similar to what frankcritic described. I'm quite content being single. I've also been watching a friend declare how perfect her guy is for her when they only ever seem to bicker and am very glad not to be stuck in such denial. But I'm suffering from girly hormones telling me to reproduce, so I do eventually want the kind of relationship that's stable enough to raise kids.. I'm not sure if I'll ever achieve it.

I wish I could say that I didn't, but I can't.


That's a negative.


You bet your Aspie-loving posterior it's hard not being in a relationship. But I hear that it's not as hard as actually being in one, so go figure.

honestly this was hard considering I have mixed feelings about it. I've dated mostly nt women considering that I think of myself as having aspergers since I fit the diagnosis criteria but do not have an offical diagnosis and I find I date the wrong type of women. I use a basis of logic for all my actions I really do not use emotional reasoning but the women I am attracted to are usually extreme emotional reasoning. Hence my lack of understanding of their pov causes some issues but then again some part of it is their unwillness to reach a happy medium. Currently I'm thinking of maybe a relationship with another aspie would be good but I don't know of any except for one I met on aspie affection but ... she gave me a headache.

How many of you want to be in a relationship?

Ideally, yes. But I've pretty much come to the conclusion that ideal is a fantasy that will never happen, so no.

Have you ever been in one?

Yes.

Was it hard?

Indeed it was.

Want to be in a relationship?

I'm not sure anymore. There is definately a part in me that wants to, but I also feel that maybe I simply can't do it. I won't blindly throw myself into a relationship ever again, that's for sure. Apart from obvious things like attraction, there also has to be compability. I was such a fool. I never understood its importance.

Have you ever been in one?

Yes, NT style.

Was it hard?

Extremely.

Not only is being in a relationship hard but, as much sympathy as I have for people who've never been in one, it is impossible to know how hard life can be without ever having been in a relationship. Before I was in one, I would've said public school was the worst experience of my life. Honestly, my relationship left all those years of torment in the dust, because as hostile as school can be and has been to me, I never cared about my oppressors. Imagine what school would've been like if you cared about the people who tormented you, wanted them to love you. You'll get an inkling of the horror of relationships.

-Frank

Yes. No question about that one.



Only one; it lasted about three months.



I would say it was.

I'd like to be in a relationship. i just have to find the right girl.

i've never been in a relationship. during high school i didn't think i was attractive enough for people to want to date me (overweight but lost weight starting in grade 11 or 12) so i didn't ask a girl out in grade 12 who liked me at the time, despite my big crush on her. Apparently i'm thin now, people tell me i'm thin but i'm not as thin as i want (i don't have a sixpack and i'm about 10lbs overweight for lightweight rowing) but i know that girls find me attractive and i've got better self esteem.

I'm not sure if I want a relationship. Right now I certainly don't but I might in the future. I was in a relationship once and it was extremely easy. We didn't have to do anything to get each other; it just happened. We didn't have to play any games either. My partner understood me better than I could understand myself. Unfortunately, the chemistry went away. Now I'm happy that I can sleep alone and nobody attacks me with hugs and kisses

Sometimes I really want someone to understand me, and to know them just as well, and sometimes I'm perfectly content with the imaginary boyfriends/girlfriends. Sometimes!

Honestly, I can't be bothered with worrying about a relationship anymore. I'd rather be single and happy, then be single and miserable, or in a relationship and miserable.

Yes, I want to be in a meaningful relationship mostly. One that I won't be used or cheated on in.