Woman Want a Man Who they Can Show to Their Friend

Page 5 of 5 [ 78 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5

LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

24 May 2008, 7:03 pm

Well, having a good attractive mate is like having a social trophy and people feel proud to show others what they got,it's human nature. It just happens that women are more social than men (in general) so we see this trophy phenomena among them more often but this behavior exists among the 2 genders.



MissConstrue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,052
Location: MO

24 May 2008, 10:23 pm

Sadly one of my sisters is a good example of that and then she wonders why her relations to them don't last long.


_________________
I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan


Aspie_Chav
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,931
Location: Croydon

24 May 2008, 10:36 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
I think you want to avoid a woman that is going to show you off to her friends, she will likely be superficial.

But also you don't want to embarrass her infront of her friends either, you should make an effort to try and get on with them and respect them.


When I said thats what a woman thinks. It doesn't mean that is what they will do. Except for one, everyone in the office has a steady relationship. I don't, I have aspergers.



MR_BOGAN
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2008
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,479
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!

25 May 2008, 12:48 am

Aspie_Chav wrote:
MR_BOGAN wrote:
I think you want to avoid a woman that is going to show you off to her friends, she will likely be superficial.

But also you don't want to embarrass her infront of her friends either, you should make an effort to try and get on with them and respect them.


When I said thats what a woman thinks. It doesn't mean that is what they will do. Except for one, everyone in the office has a steady relationship. I don't, I have aspergers.


Well impressing and getting on with her friends and family is another thing you can do to make yourself more attractive then.


_________________
Dirty Dancing (1987) - Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8CmMJf8QA


merr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 515

25 May 2008, 11:08 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
I think you want to avoid a woman that is going to show you off to her friends, she will likely be superficial.

But also you don't want to embarrass her infront of her friends either, you should make an effort to try and get on with them and respect them.
It depends on what Aspie Chav meant by show to friends. Beware of the superficial, but understand that people want to be proud of their mates (knwoing that people will get along with each other is a good, secure feeling).



Aspie_Chav
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,931
Location: Croydon

26 May 2008, 12:32 pm

merr wrote:
MR_BOGAN wrote:
I think you want to avoid a woman that is going to show you off to her friends, she will likely be superficial.

But also you don't want to embarrass her infront of her friends either, you should make an effort to try and get on with them and respect them.
It depends on what Aspie Chav meant by show to friends. Beware of the superficial, but understand that people want to be proud of their mates (knwoing that people will get along with each other is a good, secure feeling).


To a varying degree an they want an accessory. Similarly, most people don’t drive around in old bangers because they don’t like to be seen driving one. law status man usually don’t make a good accessory.



Sforzi
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 20

26 May 2008, 2:12 pm

I have to say, I disagree with what Aspie_Chav is saying.

I've never been one for materialism. I'm proud of my other half because of his personality, how he acts with me and everything he is (he is a diagnosed Aspie), not because he has a fancy job/car/house/whatever. I want to show him off because I love him and he loves me. That's all.

I don't care what other people (friends, family, outsiders) think - he treats me well and that's all that matters. :)



northern_light_girl
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 147

28 May 2008, 1:48 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
Woman want a man who they can show to their friends, and has good social skills; someone that will not embarrass them in the slightest. Even if they don’t think this curiously, it is still the case. It is less the case for a guy, though they might consider a looks more important. The only way is to be more NT like. I don’t think woman are attracted men because they are different, unless they are alpha-male, rich or both.


I think when someone feels easily embarassed by their partner (who they ALREADY know and like)....it speaks about their own insecurity and about their lacking a sense of humor and of ease. If THEY are confident and cool they could laugh it off and don't act that bothered by any small embarassment. But what embarassment are we talking about? :D And of course, if the relationship is new and she doesn't know what the guy has to offer really well...it's different:)



MR_BOGAN
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2008
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,479
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!

28 May 2008, 6:18 pm

Sforzi wrote:
I want to show him off


There we go, I simplified you :lol:


_________________
Dirty Dancing (1987) - Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8CmMJf8QA


MR_BOGAN
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2008
Age: 124
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,479
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!

28 May 2008, 6:33 pm

northern_light_girl wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
Woman want a man who they can show to their friends, and has good social skills; someone that will not embarrass them in the slightest. Even if they don’t think this curiously, it is still the case. It is less the case for a guy, though they might consider a looks more important. The only way is to be more NT like. I don’t think woman are attracted men because they are different, unless they are alpha-male, rich or both.


I think when someone feels easily embarassed by their partner (who they ALREADY know and like)....it speaks about their own insecurity and about their lacking a sense of humor and of ease. If THEY are confident and cool they could laugh it off and don't act that bothered by any small embarassment. But what embarassment are we talking about? :D And of course, if the relationship is new and she doesn't know what the guy has to offer really well...it's different:)


So you are affraid of what people think of a guy.
If you don't know a guy very well you can't except him for who he is. :? But once you get to know him it doesn't matter what other people think. :?

I'm not sure what you are trying to say...

I've always found woman as fickle as anything, but once they get to know you they seem to like you. :?


_________________
Dirty Dancing (1987) - Trailer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8CmMJf8QA


spudnik
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,992
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

28 May 2008, 6:45 pm

my girlfreind is always introducing me to the filipino ladies where she
works, it never fails I get embarrassed, when they get all flirty with me



catspurr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 545

29 May 2008, 1:34 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
Woman want a man who they can show to their friends, and has good social skills; someone that will not embarrass them in the slightest. Even if they don’t think this curiously, it is still the case. It is less the case for a guy, though they might consider a looks more important. The only way is to be more NT like. I don’t think woman are attracted men because they are different, unless they are alpha-male, rich or both.


Not true. I've actually had a relationship end because I wasn't liked by his friends even though he liked me himself??

Then weeks later he had his new replacement found by his friends. The friend apporved girl wasn't really his type!

This same person thought I was an embarassment when out in social settings. I would tell him over and over I can't hear what he was saying in loud enviroments. It was all too much. He would just roll his eyes and get pissy over it.

I'm kinda glad that he cared a little too much about what others thought :lol:



machinex
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 9 Oct 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 46

29 May 2008, 2:05 pm

Mating can be reduced to a mathematical formula, almost. Each partner brings something to the table, and ultimately the total summation of what they bring should be relatively equal for a relationship to work. If it's not equal, one partner will feel like they got a raw deal and will eventually leave.

Where it gets tricky is that different people value different traits more than others. Also people tend to hide the negatives and over-exaggerate the positives early on. For instance I have a friend who almost exclusively cares about looks. I have another who wants personality and brains, and looks is a VERY distant concern. The same would be true of women as well... Some might want a social Alpha Male type to show off to friends, as indicated here... others may actually want a reclusive, shy guy. A lot of Goth girls want skinny white guys who are submissive. Go figure, but to each their own. To others money is more important.... but just remember that the total summation is what must balance out. And for that to happen both sides must be honest about what they want most. In other words if a woman is there for the money, she should be honest about it. The right (rich) guy for her won't care about that. Same goes for us guys. We need to be honest... are we there for the looks? The brains? A combination of many traits?

My girlfriend wants me to get along with her friends, and shows off some of my good traits (I DJ, I'm witty in a quirky sort of way, and I'm very intelligent). But she knows I'm no socialite, and doesn't expect me to be one. And when the gathering gets tiring for me (social interaction often is) she's ready to go without any hint of being embarrassed about it. And if I'm shy or quiet, she doesn't fault me for that either. To her, my other traits are more important. And as long as I can manage to get along with her friends, there's no trouble.

The short version of all that nonsense I just wrote: Different women value different traits. For us with AS... It's best NOT to pick a girl who values social status a lot. Find one that prefers other traits. There are plenty of them out there.



sands
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 2 Dec 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 275

29 May 2008, 8:30 pm

I think if a women felt that way she wouldn't be worth being with anyway. I like someone that has Aspergers and I am ALWAYS glad to be with them (seen or unseen.) I find him very attractive so why should I care what anyone else thinks? He's beautiful inside and out.


_________________
Cassandra Lou

What's normal anyway?