Women and their desire for kids

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I want a son or daughter of my own. Their first word would be "Xbox". Cute.

women in general want kids for the same reasons that men in general want kids. Why are better than half the guys that are interested in me a decade or more older than me, who have suddenly decide that they want to spawn?

I have known from the time that I realized that I would one day be capable of reproduction that I did not want to do so.

I agree with you 100% on this Aspie1.However people are basically selfish and self-interested and this actually doesnt change simply because they become parents. I think that people have children because of their innate biological drive to reproduce and they will come up with all kinds of other reasons to try to justify it. The reasons given by Diamond_Head quite often DO factor into why people have kids. Many adults are dysfunctional and still have rather immature emotional needs that they havent outgrown since childhood.

Diamond_Head wrote:

However, there are some outliers. I have a female friend who recently had a kid at 19, but always wanted one since she was around 16 years old, because she always wanted something to love her unconditionally and never leave her (she had a rough life when she was younger). In addition, a guy I used to work with wanted to have at least 3 or 4 sons because he has a "I want a miniature version of myself so I can teach him how to play sports, drive a car, etc etc etc" type mentality. Everybody has individual reasons.

These are not healthy attitudes! I can't believe that this is what motivates people, to have kids. Both of these statements have the phrase "I want" in them. The woman in this scenario wants to make someone fully dependent on her, which probably means that she won't give the child much independence. The kid will end up living at home at age 30. The man in this scenario wants to make someone in his image (playing God, perhaps?), which means that the child will probably be forced to do things he doesn't want to do. If the kid won't turn out athletic, <sarcasm>we all know what good relationship</sarcasm> that will be.

My recommendation to the people in question is to get a dog. The woman should get one of the lap dog breeds, so she can enjoy its loyalty and unconditional love. The man should get one of the active dog breeds, so he can enjoy its athletic skills and results from training. An average dog has the intellectual capacity of a 6-year-old child, which would fit these people's needs quite nicely. In addition, most dogs can communicate with humans on a decent level, so lack of companionship won't be an issue. But most importantly, dogs' emotions aren't complex enough to feel the toxic effects of codependency or manipulation.

The only reason to have a child should be a personal willingness to give one's time, money, effort, and love to another human being; and this should be the most important reason. The reasons shown above only lower a child---a living, breathing, sentient human being---to the status of a pet, or worse, personal property that can be molded to one's wishes. I realize that I sound like I'm attacking, but the selfishness in the bolded statements really hit a nerve.

I am female and I don't want children. This isn't a case of "I'm not sure if I want them" it's a case of "I definitely don't want them". I value my career to much to risk it for the sake of them, and I like my alone time far too much to have it ruined by a little person who is absolutely dependent on me.
The issue broke up my last relationship: he wanted children.

Parenthood is over-hyped in our culture. I think that a lot people (both men and women) are encouraged to become parents because it's seen as a kind of "rite of passage" thing... as though you won't be a "complete" person until you have children. But I don't agree with that, and I have no desire to have children.

If everyone had your attitude then none of us would even be here on a messageboard.

Also, who better to parent an autistic child than someone who understands? People on the spectrum and those not on the spectrum can be good or bad parents. It all depends on your attitude about it and if you have no compassion and no patience then by all means get yourself neutured. Problem solved.

I don't really understand the question. I am not trying to be flippant, but it seems you answered you own question by asking it. It's probably the same reason you want a girlfriend. The end result notwithstanding, every species that inhabits the earth (and more than likely, other places as well) have a biological drive for (at least) the act of procreation. It would stand to reason that humans are no exception, but there are differences between a human and a tree, or mammals and some lizards. A tree engages in the act of reproduction by flinging pollen (Crude, I know, but I am keeping it brief) into the air (yes, sometimes, bees are involved) and hoping for the best, whereas a human reproduction is a bit more, uh, cumbersome. I am not a fan of children, but that is not to say I don't have a paternal instinct. When I see the baby sea turtles furiously scuttling to the ocean on TV, my greatest wish is to be there and gently toss as many as I can into the water. (It is not that I don't like seagulls, but, come on, they eat garbage as well as baby sea turtles! Show me cute garbage!)
So, what I am trying to say is: unless you are looking for something platonic with a female, the idea that you are some how different from the grand group of females that "want" children is a smidge misguided.