no one seems to want to date me anymore

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Gamester
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01 Aug 2008, 7:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
^^ S'truth! ^^

The changes you want must originate from within yourself. If you wait for the world to change without you, then expect it to change in ways that are not to your liking.


Amen.

As a quote from season four of Digimon, Look to the past as we head for a digital future.......(okay so it's a bit off, but it works...trust me) Look to your own past before you went Goth/Emo whatever you are, and try to find what caused you to start being all manic depressive and so forth. If you can understand why, then you've made the first healing step of fixing your future.


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Haliphron
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01 Aug 2008, 8:30 pm

Gamester wrote:
Fnord wrote:
^^ S'truth! ^^

The changes you want must originate from within yourself. If you wait for the world to change without you, then expect it to change in ways that are not to your liking.


Amen.

As a quote from season four of Digimon, Look to the past as we head for a digital future.......(okay so it's a bit off, but it works...trust me) Look to your own past before you went Goth/Emo whatever you are, and try to find what caused you to start being all manic depressive and so forth. If you can understand why, then you've made the first healing step of fixing your future.


Im past the Goth phase, but I tell ya, BEFORE I went Goth I was feeling very desperate and lonely and Goth provided the distraction that I needed. So look, I WANT to be Happy with myself and personally I honestly DO feel happy with myself.
Though keep in mind that it has taken me A Loooooong time to recover my self-esteem. But this isnt really about me personally, its about the fellow who started this thread. My point is: be honest(as much as you can), but dont be totally open when it comes to strangers.



Ann-D-Rew
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01 Aug 2008, 8:59 pm

Haliphorn, that made me smile! :D



RogueProcess
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02 Aug 2008, 1:27 pm

Gamester wrote:
Fnord wrote:
^^ S'truth! ^^

The changes you want must originate from within yourself. If you wait for the world to change without you, then expect it to change in ways that are not to your liking.


Amen.

As a quote from season four of Digimon, Look to the past as we head for a digital future.......(okay so it's a bit off, but it works...trust me) Look to your own past before you went Goth/Emo whatever you are, and try to find what caused you to start being all manic depressive and so forth. If you can understand why, then you've made the first healing step of fixing your future.


WTF???? Being emo, goth or whatever other subculture you want to rat on does NOT equate to being a manic depressive. That's a seriously misguided statement. Does it equate to your future needing 'fixed', as you put it, or your life-choices needing looked at.
Seriously, some people are just happy that way. Indeed, I've encountered some of the nicest, most down-to-earth people at 'alternative' nightclubs, most of whom are leading perfectly happy, fulfilling lives. Indeed, quite a few of them are happily engaged or married.
Far from being some sort of expression of deep-rooted inner pain, most of the time, people dress that way because they find it a very pleasing aesthetic.

But, to get back on topic, basically everything Michel said is about right :)



makuranososhi
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02 Aug 2008, 1:42 pm

Gamester wrote:
Hmm.....Well I'll say this. If he wants to look Emo/Goth then so be it. However, and this is from what I've seen is that most who are, are either gay or bi. no straight smart person would be.....unless as a joke, but that's a joke that's too stupid to begin with.


I'm calling Bull on that comment, Gamester... it demonstrates a very narrow view of things, and does not belie a greater sense of understanding. That's a presumptive and inaccurate statement that I would not blame others for taking offense at. *shakes head* RogueProcess, I'm with you on this one; his views are indicative of broad social stereotypes and not based in fact.

Michel - very, very well said. Kudos and then some.

LPP - disagree with what you said, but not entirely with what I gather you meant. Being yourself is not bad advice; be your worst stagnant self is, and many take the former to be free license to quit trying to be anything but the latter. Be the best version of yourself would be better phrased.


M.


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Gamester
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02 Aug 2008, 4:25 pm

makuranososhi wrote:
Gamester wrote:
Hmm.....Well I'll say this. If he wants to look Emo/Goth then so be it. However, and this is from what I've seen is that most who are, are either gay or bi. no straight smart person would be.....unless as a joke, but that's a joke that's too stupid to begin with.


I'm calling Bull on that comment, Gamester... it demonstrates a very narrow view of things, and does not belie a greater sense of understanding. That's a presumptive and inaccurate statement that I would not blame others for taking offense at. *shakes head* RogueProcess, I'm with you on this one; his views are indicative of broad social stereotypes and not based in fact.

Michel - very, very well said. Kudos and then some.

LPP - disagree with what you said, but not entirely with what I gather you meant. Being yourself is not bad advice; be your worst stagnant self is, and many take the former to be free license to quit trying to be anything but the latter. Be the best version of yourself would be better phrased.


M.


I'll take that as bull, because it wasn't one of my best.

But this much I can say though, because I'm not criticizing anyone here is just be yourself

(Ironic, this coming from me a bit later) Whilst I may be a bit of an arse, at the same time, I have enough reason to beleive that if you are yourself, sooner or later someone will want that.


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makuranososhi
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03 Aug 2008, 12:43 am

Gamester wrote:
I'll take that as bull, because it wasn't one of my best.

But this much I can say though, because I'm not criticizing anyone here is just be yourself

(Ironic, this coming from me a bit later) Whilst I may be a bit of an arse, at the same time, I have enough reason to beleive that if you are yourself, sooner or later someone will want that.


*smile* Fair enough.

I can agree with that advice... continually changing yourself means that you know concretely less of yourself - this is not to advocate abstaining from change, far from it in fact, but I am opposed to arbitrary change. If you're not the same person twice, how do you know who you attract, who you enjoy, what aspects you even like about yourself? That's my caveat to the whole process... change at your pace, and become yourself. Otherwise, it's a shell game... gains negligible, potential losses steep.


M.


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GNRfan
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03 Aug 2008, 8:18 pm

We're in the same boat here , though sorry i'm not bi lol. but yeah i know the feeling , woman always adore my physique , but then when i actually talk to them i get all logical and philisophic on them as we Aspies tend to do ,then they get confused and dart the other way, it feels like i have to limit my feelings if i want girls to like me , but that just wouldn't work out for long so i'm still looking for soemone who apprecties such things like that.



Alex22
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04 Aug 2008, 6:15 am

If you are really interested in someone, then play it smart and safe. Be sure that you get to know the person first, before divulging sensitive private data. Of course, he could turn out to be Prince Charming, but on the other hand… There is a chance that he could use information you divulged to hurt or damage you. My advice is that you get to know the other person first through emails or other means the online dating site may offer.



MissConstrue
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04 Aug 2008, 12:11 pm

Well haven't read all the posts, but I personally know with shyness comes akwardness esp. with aspies.

I know I've shut down a few times with even the most direct guys...not fun. But that's just me, can't really get an understanding of your situation. Too many times on these threads, people tend to blame eachother for not having that "speacial someone."

I'd prefer the word kindred as someone you meet who shares or relates to you or your interests before moving onto something serious as a relationship...if that's what you claim your problem is.

If it's just getting with someone with no strings attached or involved then that's another story.


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JimmyNeurtonRules
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04 Aug 2008, 5:49 pm

Take my advice, you don't need to be in a releationship to be happy! :)