Getting Women to Take You Seriously

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I dunno - I'm female and NT and I don't think I have 'bad genes'. And yet I always fell for the guy who was NOT perfect. Ken dolls bored me.

That's understandable, considering their lack of "anatomical correctness"...

lol, not sure about this equation that taking yourself seriously as a man equates to more dating success. Some of the most immature and self-centered guys I know have consistent dating success with very good-looking women.

Ever been to a frat party on a college campus? Generally the guy with the most outstandingly gorgeous girlfriend is the football player who paints his body with the school colors at pep rallies and then drinks until he passes out on the floor. These are not guys that take themselves seriously, unless jumping off the roof into the pool while wearing an oversized foam cowboy hat can be subsequently interpreted as "mature".

Nevertheless, they have no problems finding girlfriends that would be considered extremely attractive by anyone's standards.

That's BECAUSE these guys don't go around questioning whether women take them seriously as dating material. They get out there and goof around and have a level of confidence in themselves (even if it seems misplaced) that works very well in attracting women.

Words of wisdom. Well put.

In No_YOU_get_over_it's language: That's BECAUSE these guys don't go around questioning whether women take them seriously as dating material. They get out there and goof around and have a level of confidence in themselves (even if it seems misplaced) that works very well in attracting women

Translation(what she's indicating): NeantHumain , you are a loser who lacks a load of confidence in yourself , you are whining about women not taking you seriously as dating material while you can get out and goof around women.



PS: I am not stating my opinion about NeantHumain , I am just translating No_YOU_get_over_it 's words.

Nooooooooooooo. That's what you're inferring.

There's an old Lebanese saying: "You are playing with the fire" , NeantHumain is an intelligent adult, Let's let him reread all your posts here and let him decide who's actually inferring this.

Ok, the first sentence is NOT true at all, certainly in my experience that is. But the following 3 I agree with;
especially the third. Seeking validation through others come across as being desperate; and desperation is
colossal Turn-Off to 100% of women.

What I've inferred is No_YOU_get_over_it is a pompous, self-righteous @$$ who thinks rehashing the staid cynical dating memes will pass her off as wise in the ways of romance. Her response to the frat boy idiot example brings it back to self-confidence. Since she has very little actual detail to work with, she is relying on canned stereotypes about dating dynamics. This thread has been hijacked into yet another moot controversy over projecting self-confidence vs. being one's true aspie self.

I think I've lost brain cells reading the last 5 or so posts...

This is the fundamental problem with much of the dating and romance world, a psychological arms race between men and women. I am not seeking sex or intimacy immediately upon contacting a woman; I am looking to get to know her, enjoy her company, and see if she's someone I might have longer-term interest in too. The dilemma is that this goal is served for neither the male nor the female by necessitating sly tests and snap judgments and the kind of brinkmanship you allude to. Enjoying a nice conversation with an attractive member of the preferred sex(es) should not require surpassing some unreasonable standard as barrier to entry. The fact that I have initiated conversation with her (or vice versa) should be a reasonable enough standard for the moment. A conversation that is left to grow organically so that the participants can get to know each other without the haste and inaccuracy of snap judgments and trick questions disguised as carefree flirtation allow ample opportunities for male and female in courtship.

If a woman (or man for that matter) has the thought, "Oh look! He (or she) dare speak to me! What has he (or she) done to prove himself (or herself) worthy of this?" this immediately prevents the kind of open, unbiased socializing that lets a male and a female accurately gauge each other and, perhaps more importantly, enjoy the conversation! The unpresumptuous invitation to conversation does not stem from an immature sense of entitlement; it comes from a healthy, optimistic attitude toward the self and to others.



This assumption seems to come from projective identification (projecting one's own experiences onto others and provoking a reaction that is likely to validate one's preconceptions) rather than solid evidence. The aspie mind can be particularly attuned to a woman's desires because of our attention to detail and single-minded focus. In the past, I have been able to develop an almost encyclopedic knowledge of a woman, but it was to no avail.

I'm not implying you're a misandronist; that would be using the sort of loose induction you yourself have shown cannot stand upon closer examination. What I am saying is that you need to get your facts straights before you go into condescending-rant mode (and then, feel free to rant away with what's left! ).

Dude. Try just answering questions and looking in the mirror. Your best efforts so far haven't gotten you what you wanted. It can't hurt to give the simple explanation a shot. You're the one imagining some cold war. Women do pick up on this. That's - unfortunately - no trite meme.

Im curious why you are trying to sound like a cynical, smug, macho guy. You really must be pretty damn insecure yourself
I wonder why.............

Probably b/c my penis is too small. That's what all the e-mails I get are telling me, anyway.

Money wont enable a relationship it will put girls interested in your money into orbit around you.