Do girls you like want nothing to do with you?

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Of coarse! Looks + Personality is ALL you can ask for. I mean seriously, what else is there if they match both of those?

You think you have it so bad that all of the smoking hot babes want nothing to do with you. I would give anything I own to just have an emotional connection with anyone, of any kind. You're not an aspie, you're socially inept. Stop being such a jackass and then come talk to us.

I'm not saying that. I'm saying that I've dated the Plain Jane types that other guys don't even notice because they (people like you ProtossX) want the beautiful blonde, tight ass, big breasted girl. And to me, those are the more beautiful ones.

Let me be perfectly honest with you, big breasted blonde bimbo type chicks aren't worth the hassle. Sure, they may be attractive, but they are petty and superficial. They want bad boy type guys and jerks, or guys that are attractive and exciting. In truth, there hearts are going to be broken more times than the Patriots can win Superbowls because they aren't going after what matters: Intimacy and Commitment. Passion is great, don't get me wrong, but a stable relationship is intimacy, passion, and commitment. Attractive girls are only after passion, to Hell with the other two things.

Your standards are a bit high, but so are mine, bud. I don't go after the most attractive women, I don't even try to play the field and look around. But attractiveness usually = superficiality. You seem to have girls that are interested in you, give them a chance and engage them in conversation/hanging out. You might learn to like them, but trust me buddy, neither you or I are getting big breasted blondes, nor should we want to

They usually like being my friend.

I come to the conclusion that the reason people (myself included) will say that "looks don't matter" is because many of us are looking for a different kind of look than most. So yes, looks are a factor, but for me, there are some things about looks that can at the very least give me a clue about someone before I talk to them. While making assumptions on appearance is something that I don't particularly enjoy doing (since they are, in effect, generalizations that could be completely wrong in any given case), they do take up to a week off of the time I need to get to know a woman before I truly become attracted.

For example, too much tan (unless it is because tan is her natural skin color) tells me that a woman is preoccupied with her own appearance, and probably not a great match for me. She would probably want to spend a lot of time at beaches (something I'm not a big fan of for myself), and a relationship would just not work out.

Conversely, a woman wearing glasses means one of two things: 1) She has a medical condition that precludes her from wearing contacts, or 2) She doesn't buy into that popular culture concept that glasses adversely affect appearance. The former item is increasingly rare as the technology for contacts improves. The latter, however, means that she is less likely to be a follower in the pop culture herd, which in turn means that she is more of a free thinker, something I like in a woman. She would be less likely (though still possible) to be high maintenance, owing to not being as self-absorbed as other women. These people can be found in nerd culture quite easily (although many exist outside), meaning that there is a greater chance of my sharing interests with her.

3 out of the 5 women I've been seriously attracted to in my life wore glasses (a 4th had reading glasses), which are usually considered as a negative according to current popular culture's evaluation. One of those 4 eventually switched out the glasses for contacts, and, in hindsight, I can clearly see that my attraction for her leveled off alot after that. On the other hand, one of the others in that list wore really think glasses that were distinguishable from 100 yards away. She was a drama nerd (drama meaning live theater, not the relationship kind of drama), and was practically the only woman to ever show any kind of real attraction back to me. My single biggest regret nowadays is not going for it then and there... I had two opportunities in two different years, the latter of which I was heavily encouraged by others to go for it as well, but still locked up because of that damn "deer in headlights" reaction...

So yes, enough of my rambling. Looks do matter, but each person wants something different. The one-size-fits-all rule of big boobs, tight ass, and blonde hair that pop culture tries to pull over your eyes is definitely bulls**t...

Perhaps part of the problem is that you seem to think its ok to brush against them and even sneak a "feel" when they're obviously NOT your gf's or even platonic friends.....Women really Hate guys who act like that and have a pretty damn good reason to want nothing to do with you-even if you changed your ways you might have developed the reputation as a creepy stalker that way. Just something to think about.

I do agree that no one, and I mean no one, just goes on personality alone. Sure she could have a great personality but would you really go for her if she had a beard and looked like a dog. I don't think you would...so yeah I don't think people can totally get out of "looking" but you can go for the plain janes that may not look smoking hot but looks reasonably nice and has a great personality.

Yes. I would be very surprised if that wasn`t so,
there will always be some girl i like that wont have
any interest it looks like. Its the way it is

But another thing is i sometimes dont want anything
to do with a girl i really like because i`m sure she
would be better off without me and could do better.
It feels right but oh so bad also, painful

my friend read what i wrote in this thread and she said it sounded like i was boasting and i should clear it up (as if anyone cares, but anyway.)

i meant that they want too much to do with me in the sense that they like to be with me more than i can bear, and then they dislike me because of that.

i can manage 3 social situations per week (that is having a girlfriend over to sleep).
i rarely can do 2 nights in a row.
i feel frazzled after a second night.
i am all "socialled out"

i can never do a 3 nights in a row.

i must have no more than 3 nights with company per week or i feel drained and i get homesick for my solitude.

but a girl who wants to be your girlfriend, will usually want to live with you, and that, for me is out of the question.
no matter how much i like them, and feel sad that they give up on me, i still can not live with them.

that is what i meant by "they want too much to do with me".

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anyway, after reading other posts here, i have thought about my perspective about the way people choose partners.

i have what people call a "page boy" hairstyle.
some people say i remind them of "little lord fauntleroy" (although i am not little (5'11" and 85kg))
some girls think that looks "cute".

they can tell from my personality that my hairstyle is not some deliberate fashion statement, and that it is just that i never changed my style from childhood.

every time i go to a barber, i say 2" off all round thanks.
i have a fringe and my ears do not show.
my hair is collar length but looks page boyish so it seems longer.

but "cute" is not "hot" or "to die for".
"cute" is what people feel kittens are.
"cute" is to be kissed, but it does not arouse sensual feelings in them mainly.

my body is not muscular but more feminine (i do not have much testosterone).

most "blonde (and any hair color) tanned gymnasium addict" girls see me as a wimpish squishy nerd.

they like "iron men" and daring and dominant hairy guys with big adams apples and an apelike sexuality.
they seem to like that pukable "musk" smell that their men radiate from their rancidifying sweat condensate.

i eat dinner (evening meal) at a tavern sometimes.
that tavern has lots of people who are young and mostly good looking (i guess) who are there to drink and socialize.

i do not look at other people there much at all because i mainly scribble notes about mathematical ideas for animations etc, but if i am tired, i may lose concentration, and then my mind wanders to inspect a nearby social setting out of curiosity.


i notice that most of the girls seem more attracted to each other, but they all have their token "hunk" playing pool in the other room.

you see them with their arms around each other and their cheeks pressed together (facial cheeks ie) and they look more relaxed with each other than when they are with their "men".

then their men spill out of the pool room to buy another round of drinks.
their men's tongues seem not to fit in their own mouths properly (too big by a bit).

their men hang their jaws slightly ajar when they listen to each other and you can see their tongue that seems to be near their front teeth. (hard to describe)

it is a very stupid look in my mind.
not all do it, but most do.
they are like footballers who say "ahh...umm....errr" all throughout their sentences.

they are the most popular fellows there. they are rugged and bronzed and they look like they work hard.

they usually have tattoos and wear only their singlets even when it is not hot .
they are such show off's but they have nothing but skin prints and muscles to show.

(you may see i am not impressed by them, and someone is going to have a problem with me about that i think in this thread, but i am proceeding).

their conversation is very dull.

example..
when the "boys" spill out from their finished pool game to get another round.....

girl: hey ricky baby....you win?
rb: nahhh....(snort)...eh
girl: awww honey....what happened?
rb: yeah ahhh well.......... f**kin' ...............errrr f**kin'...... ahhh dunno ay?
girls female friend (gff): ohmagod!! !! is that a tat of a scorpion on your shoulder??

(i thought it was a prawn when i noticed it)

rb: yeah!! got it when i f**kin' err was wif me mates in the cross hay.
gff: oh wow it's so hot!! ! are you a scorpio?
rb: nahhhh i'm a capricorn. (i sputtered into laughter at that stage and had to look away as a person noticed me).

it just goes to show.
here is a nasty evaluation i made about those girls.

they want a "human dildo" and they certainly have it with those guys.
a dildo does not talk back or notice anything about them.
it does not question them about who they are.
it just serves a purpose.
and to have a "human" one with all the trappings of "reality" is what they want.

but that is just a narrow view compiled from my little glances at the world at the local tavern.

i am sure that personality comes in to it at places that are better patronized than my local tavern.

i just wrote what my local vision of it is (as a bacteria can only describe it's 1/100000 sq mm area (if it had a brain that is)).

A little fact that I find really works...

If you like a girl, don't like the hottest girl out there, like the cutest one. In my opinion, cuter girls tend to be a lot nicer and better to be around. They're also more fun -- and for an Aspie, I find that they are better too, seeing as I just can't picture anyone I know with aspergers dating a blonde chick with really big boobs. If by some chance, you see a girl who looks both "cute and hot" then that is very rare and a very good thing. My current girlfriend is both, in my opinion and we have a lot of fun together. I just feel that aspies are way too smart and different for a dumb blonde-like girl. They most likely will not even understand you that well, where a cute girl might. I know I sound a little sterotypical here, but I think it's the truth. Meh...

B9 i have seen and felt the same that you do looking around some of the relationships around my area, its kind of depressing when you look at it...

I am starting to believe that asperger is just the psychiatric label of social ineptness +shyness + low-esteem , there's no real medical diagnosis that proves asperger's in someone nor there's a real medical distinction between social ineptness and AS.

Um.... no. I've had my brain scanned countless times, well 32, but that's still a lot. And I've seen the results of all the experiments I've been a part of. We can light up those MRI scans a whole lot more than the vast majority of NTs. And while everything else is on fire there are just tiny little parts that just aren't being touched, while NTs are using those portions. It's neurological, there's no doubt.

Petit your spewing BS..there is a difference..but if you believe their is none then go ahead and make yourself a fool...

^^ I am just stating my doubts, there's no need to be disrespectful , fool (oops, I called you fool too)

http://autism.wikia.com/wiki/MRI_scans