Asexuality...

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What exactly is asexuality? Does it mean you simply have no desire to have an intimate relationship, or could it mean that you want to, but are physically unable to do so?

Here's the situation...I have posted here a few times in the past, and I was lamenting the fact that because I just so happen to have a case...albeit mild...of Asperger's Syndrome, I could not find someone to have a romantic relationshp with. Well, happily, I was wrong, and over the past couple of months, I have started a relationship with a wonderful woman who I adore and who I really enjoy being with (and the feeling is mutual). The problem is that while I want to have a physical relationship, I fear that I might have trouble with it. This happened the last time (and only other time) I was in any sort of relationship. I couldn't get sexually aroused easily, and even if I do start to get somewhat aroused, the feeling goes away quickly. And this has been my way for most of my adulthood. I can watch porn, and I have no effects from it...I can try masturbation...still nothing. I am 30 years old in good health, so I don't see how this is related to a health concern.

I just wonder what would happen if I simply *CANNOT* have sex because I am asexual. I know it's common among people with Asperger's, and while many people seem to be OK with it, I am not, and never will be. I want an intimate relationship, and don't want this disorder to ruin any chance I have.

EDIT: In case you don't know, I am still a virgin. I don't know if this might have something to do with my problem.

oh this is a difficult one.
asexual means, in my understanding...no desire to have or maintain a sexual act with another or yourself.
just no interest.

you seem to have a desire to do so.

you claim to be in good physical health.

you could have, and i mean this in proper sincerity....some sort of erectile dysfunction.

the mechanism of blood flow and nervous innervation to your penis is complex and it is entirely possible that
it just isnt working as well as it could....i suggest talk it over with a doc.

Asexuality means lack of sexual attraction.

More information here.

I thought that asexuals by definition don't have any sex, not even masturbate.

Well, perhaps there are different definitions.

The definition I know of, and that the asexual community accepts, is that an asexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction.

That's it. It says nothing at all about whether one actually has sex or not. Many self-identified asexuals have sex, and certainly many more of us masturbate.